I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

[Elizabeth]

Tomorrow I'm going to go out to buy some supplements. 7th day today abstaining and I know that the danger for me starts about the 10th day. Boooom I can make up for the alcohol free days in one easy go..... and its usually disastrous. You'd think that one would learn and get to know the fatal signs... or figure out what the hell triggers off the drinking bouts. Not me!

I'm also going to have to do something about the amount of fags I'm smoking. Yuk! I had a cigarette hangover from HELLLLLLLLL this morning. Believe me it was. The amount of diet cokes and coffee I'm drinking is'nt a good move either but so what right now! I remember going to an AA meeting once and the room was so smokey I could hardly make out the individual participants! I remember thinking that the people were simply killing themselves in a less embarrassing and more socially acceptable way! Its a mixed up world.

Driving home this afternoon I daydreamed of a nice cool vodka and red bull (my fave) with loads of ice. Unfortunately one tin of red bull = at least 4 tots of vody per drink. Need a serious distraction and only wish I could channel my restlessness into my creative work. That unfortunately just is'nt happening. Got bills to pay and commitments to meet. I'VE GOT TO GET MY S... TOGETHER and stop buggering around before I lose everything and believe me thats just waiting for me round the next corner. Its sure as hell not through lassiness... maybe fear.

Yeh I know... I can hear you all saying it, "give it time!." but that sentance just infuriates me more!

[lushy]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Are you taking the supplements suggested, esp, the kudzu and l-glutamine? They REALLY help with the cravings. Might want to give it a try to get over the 10 day hump....

[weemelonhead]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

I know how you feel Elizabeth...you want it NOW....you feel like you can't wait..

I ALWAYS recommend this to people having trouble with the idea of abstaining...go to the long term abs boards and read the posts there about the mindset needed to kick this thing and be GLAD that you are doing it, rather than always longing for something you shouldn't need...It is this mindset that really gets the decision set in concrete.
Every time I have tried to stop drinking before....I have always felt that I am denying myself something pleasurable and this only made me want it more...I have been sober since I joined this site 104 days ago..at first, I felt like you, and wondered how the hell I was EVER going to keep this up...then, after a couple of weeks (when I'd finally learnt how to navigate my way round the boards properly!) I got to reading the posts from long term abstainers...those for whom not drinking is a choice, not a purgatory.
I went back through the posts...all of them....and found exactly what I was looking for. A new way of looking at this whole thing that really HAS made the difference.
I now realise that however tough each day can be, all my problems are NEVER as bad as they were previously, because now I just go through the same crap as the rest of the world...but I am lucky enough to do it SOBER...I can clearly see how mad I was to 'crave' a drink, when I knew that that was one of my WORST problems...why crave something that was doing my liver in...making me abuse friends and family....and hate myself to the point of wanting to die.....was I MAD???????
I thank God/Buddah/Allah/The Universe for every sober day now...I embrace my sobriety and feel terrific, with every clearheaded day I have...it is fantastic......

I won't say it takes time, because sometimes I don't believe that it does...I just believe that it takes the right way......and then this thing can happen immediately....

Keep going with the sobriety....and don't daydream about the booze as though it were a friend you miss..rather as the bloody devil it is....
Ps...also know about the fags!!:H.....I smoke about the equivalent of a tobacco field the size of south america every day at the moment, but that's my next issue.....

Take care dear
Weemelon xx

[Guest]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Get pissed, that's okay. get pissed off enough you don't take that next drink that you are craving. Sometimes getting mad helps!!! Re-direct the energy into something constructive. Plant some flowers, detail clean your car, results are far better than a hang-over the next morning.

[mustdobetter]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

I hear you loud and clear. And I can relate in a way. I am just sitting day and night, plastered to the computer, reading research, the forums, email, etc. I don't work outside of the home, but Lord knows since I started this AF journey, I have neglected housework, laundry, getting out with the kids, etc. I can spat out some words that make lots of sense to me like...

Fight one battle at a time

or...

Make a total turn around all at once

or...

Check myself into a clinic

I don't know how to fix it either. I just know that only I can do it and I hate that feeling. I don't like the fact that I am entirely and fully responsible for my actions, or lack of actions, right now. I sure wish I could pawn it off on someone else. That might sound pretty weak to some folks... but really... I feel like all I can do right now is spend my time NOT drinking. I feel lazy, but I think you are right - it is fear. Fear that I am going to have to figure out a new way to live. I was pretty used to the old way, even if it was a pretty terrible way to live.

I'll let you know if I figure something out worth while... but otherwise, I suppose being angry with myself is better than being drunk and losing track of several hours in the day.

Sorry - I just used your thread to vent. But you hit the nail on the head with me.

[Bella]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

It is hard Elizabeth but what weemelonhead says is sooo true. you have to try and change your way of thinking. The ice-cold vodka and red-bull is actually your worst enemy NOT your friend. Read the 'my friend voddy' post, its so good. I also reckon you could try the kudzu as i have heard that it really does help with the cravings and listen to the cds. I am 36 days AF now and i have my triggers but when i do, i log on here and read and post and read again. It has been and is so very helpful in my recovery if u like. You want to hold onto your sober days because each day you wake up and feel good. Every morning I wake up and my first thought is "did i drink last night?" When i realise i didn't i pat myself on the back again. YOU ARE DOING BRILLIANTLY! I also smoke like mad at the moment, but I really need that at the moment, so i will perhaps deal with that vice at a later date! B

[ScoobyDoo]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Elizabeth... DON'T give it time. There... I said it! But seriously... I think it's true too. Alcohol has had plenty of time and now you're out with it. Day 7 is great!

As you know, caffeine will make you edgy and anxious. Become a green tea (or any tea) converter like me... I've become a tea addict! I asked my partner yesterday if there is such a thing as a tea overdose. lol

So I'm saying, don't give it time. Get those supps, read the book (again if you already have read once) and experiment with some different teas, and see which one you could get hooked on.

Quit the smoking down the track... I think this is the biggest demon to battle. At least with cigs, you only have cravings for the first few days/weeks, which definitely pass with time.

Doo

[Elizabeth]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Thanks you guys. Pity there is'nt a fix that gives you a rush but does'nt turn one into an arsehole! Miss the rush BUT yes I agree and hear you all. Embarrassment, guilt and fear free days are great. I've just got to get that kudzu and l-glutamine tomorrow. I appreciate your words more than I can say.

[dilayne]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Elizabeth..you are doing great..forget about what you remember about the 10th day..that could just be a set up you've scripted for yourself..it doesn't have to be that way. I agree..plan for your weakest moments, take some walks, do something creative..channel that energy somewhere else that will take the place of the vod and bull. glad you are here and sharing your journey..that is what we're here for!

[Mags]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Weemelonhead hit it right on target. You are giving something up for sure - my shrink says we actually grieve as if we had lost a member of the family when we kick voddy out of our lives. But the grief should be very short and quickly overtaken by optimism and a feeling of control at last. what a beautiful feeling to be able to keep the demons out and control your life. 7 day AF - that's great- you are doing it now. it doesn't take time - it takes right now, this moment, and then every little moment after that. One moment at a time. Eventually that will add up to some measure of time. But right now, it is just now. You can't control the past or the future, but you can control the moment.

Stay cool - you're doing great

[nattie]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Elizabeth,
I can really relate - I have been AF since Moday of the previous week - I had a slip up last Friday night when BF was asleep & had left drink in the kitchen - I fortunately stopped at 2 & a bit. I too feel impatient, I am reading as many posts (old & new) as I can and that is a lot as I hardly have anything to do at work at the moment. I am going through a slightly "envious" stage, I DO feel better for not drinking but am still thinking about it an awful lot.
I think in my heart of hearts I know I can't moderate & that dissapoints me somewhat - I am getting a lot of support from my mum who hates drink & has a sip of babycham & feels pis*ed.....to her something lovely to drink is a nice glass of lemonade, but I just can't share her enthusiasm on that one.
Sorry.......I have hijacked your post with my ramblings.....
BF is drinking AGAIN tonight & I am pacing the house (very small) and trying not to think about it - I feel like I have little clock ticking inside me waiting till I cave in again.

Sorry - I hope I haven't depressed you !

xx

[Mags]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Nattie
It is frustrating. I know now that I can't moderate - I have to abstain. It's tough and disappointing. But it is power also. We should never think of time - only of the moment and the choice we make right this moment. I know it sounds trite, but it is the only way to survive this disease.

[nattie]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

thanks Mags - I appreciate it.
I am so glad of this place as BF is of little support sometimes. I had a work meal out with the girls on Thursday (managed to not drink as they know Iam on anti-depressants). However, BF said he thought I should have at least one so I didn't "stand out".
Told him about this site last night and how inspiring it was to read about everyone - he then says ok to read but don't post.
I feel he is embarrased when I drink & now I make the effort to address it he still is embarrased.

xx

[rudemama]

I can hear you all saying it, give it time!. but that sentance just infuriates me m

Elizabeth, i too can go for periods without a drink then it is all or nothing i am only 3 days af, but woke up today, saturday thinking about it, i like to party but i know i can't control it at times. I guess i feel in control on those few days i don't drink...i want to moderate but know i am not a moderater . so i will find a way to get through today.I too will get the supplements, cash is short this week. drink tea walk sleep smoke shop post....thinking of you thinking i am not alone R.