One Month +... A Revelation?

[mamatee]

On Monday, I enjoyed my 30th consecutive day AF. It nearly came and went without me thinking about it. I am posting today to share some of the thoughts I've had and maybe some truths.
I never had thought before about my drinking as a progressive problem. I know that years ago I didn't drink as much or as often and I had a greater ability to moderate. It seems now that over time I just kept increasing the amount and frequency until it reached an unacceptable level.
Don't yell at me for this next one, I'm talking specifically about myself and not about others. I have never thought of my drinking as a disease or a sickness. I do not call myself or think of myself as an alcoholic. I don't think I have some physical property that makes me more susceptible than others to the ills of the drink. I have always enjoyed getting a buzz on and I just kept doing it until it was a habit. I don't have a particularly stressful life - happy marriage, great daughter, good friends, no big worries.
So, 30+ days ago I found this site, the MWO book, the support here and my wonder drug, kudzu. I find that I am not heading home and waiting for 4:00 to pop a cork or open a beer. It rarely occurs to me now that I might even do that and I don't take kudzu everyday. It seems that by decreasing the craving with the kudzu, it was easier to not follow the habit I had developed.
I'm not saying I'm over it or that I'll never drink again or anything like that. Just that, for now, it's not hard. In fact, it's easy.
I'm curious if I'm the only one who's experienced something like this? Or, am I wierd? Or, what?
Love to hear what ya think.

[Guest]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Congrats to you! Was it this easy in the beginning for you or did it gradually get easier?

[Beaches]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Hi mamatee and congrats on 30 days! I have found with the kudzu that I am not craving a drink like I used to either. It's not constantly on my mind which is refreshing! I am not AF but I am proud to say that I have had the same bottle opened in my house for the entire week, that has never happened before.

[mamatee]

One Month +... A Revelation?

It was eerily easy from the start, but it's easier now that I don't even think about drinking unless I am out socially (which we do a couple of times a week). Then I just say from the start "I'm not drinking" and that is that. It's very surreal. I wonder why I'm questioning success???

[mamatee]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Beaches,
I too have opened bottles in my fridge and I have never had those before either. I remember thinking "wine saver? What do you use those for?" Thanks for the note.

[Rocky]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Happy for you..Congradulations'''

Each one must come to terms with where they are at with alcohol like you have and each is a bit or a lot different.

Good job!

[cassy]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Well do0ne you... i have found it easier than i thought as well..BUt thats thanks to this site, hubby not drinking so he is on board doing AF and a close friend too. so the three of us are 32 days Af today.

I too have been out to the pub and stated at the beginning i am not drinking..with that out of the way i have had a good evening. must admit i dont go to the pub to just drink now...either i am going for a meal..or a quiz.

I havent done the books, supps or tapes . My method is this site, my support from hubby and friend. Twice daily am and evening spiritual reading/meditation and prayer. i text my friend each am to CHECKIn..life a mini AA meeting.

i,ve never tried AA or even anything formal before,This is my 1st serious attempt... i did do 30 days AF 2 years ago when i first twigged i was a problem drinker.


anyway just want to say good luck to anybody struggling to do Day 1,,maybe some of the hints on this site might help

regards Cassy.

[lushy]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Mama, well done. Glad it is going so well for you. Your story is similar to mine in that I really feel it is a habit I allowed to get out of control for the sheer buzz of it all. The kudzu helps immensely along with other aspects of the program, and perhaps part of that is because we not focusing on the next drink all of the time, but instead we are actually focusing on making ourselves healthier and more clear headed and then that sort of feeds on itself. I wish you continued "easy" success.

[redrobin]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Dear Mamatee

Firstly,congratulations on 30 days AF. I hope you are feeling strong fit, healthy, smug and virtuous ? you deserve it!

I was so pleased to see your post as I did my daily scan of the site. It so mirrors my own situation and feelings about my drinking problem and my approach to solving it. Frankly within the last week or so I?ve begun to feel a bit of a fraud in being here! Others seemed to have fought, and are often still fighting, much tougher battles. And here am I, like you, doing it pretty easy!!

Like you and some of the others I have never considered myself as someone with a disease that needs to be cured but rather as one with a bad habit that needs to be broken. Splitting straws? Perhaps. But an important distinction for some of us in the way we approach this thing, I strongly suspect.

Again, like you, my drinking increased over the past year or so ? almost without my realising it. Certainly I have always been an enthusiastic wine drinker (wine only, nothing else) and this has progressively become more and more enthusiastic. I have never been a binge drinker, infrequently drunk and usually don?t drink excessively on social occasions ? though please note use of the words infrequently and usually! No, my most enthusiastic drinking was confined to the house and mostly took place while peeling the veggies for dinner (pour a glass, glug, glug, glug ,where did that go?) and while talking to friends on the phone. Over the past few years a glass or two of wine with dinner has become three quarters to a bottle of wine most nights. Why? Am I simply peeling more veggies?

But no excuses. I also have a good life, lovely family, great job, no particular problems or worries. So something had to be done. I?m a fit and healthy exercise nut but working in the health sector as I do, I know enough to realise that I won?t continue to enjoy such great health if I continue to imbibe in such enthusiastic fashion.

So stumbling upon MWO was the most wonderful good luck. And today I am 20 days AF!! And going strong. Don?t know what will happen when I reach my 30 day goal ? I may keep going AF or I may have an occasional glass of wine. I?m not worried about that yet because I?ve already won by proving to myself that I can do it ? and without too much bother at that.

So no Mama, you?re not weird ? and neither am I for that matter ? isn?t that great!!

RR

PS Clearly had too much time on my hands last night (former wine time, no doubt) and spent ages trying to get Australian Flame Robin up as my avatar ? didn?t work! So got snowdrops instead, just have to imagine little Flame Robin amongst the snow drops.

[mamatee]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Robin,
Wow and thanks!!! I too felt a bit like a fraud, but also knew that I wasn't a complete fraud -- my drinking had progressed beyond my control. Me too with the making dinner, drinking wine. Except, occasionally I'd find myself uncorking #2 or wake up the next morning with a glass by my bed and be completely disgusted with myself. One too many drunk outside the privacy of my own home made my friends and family point it out and the shame drove me to attempt correction. You are right - we've already won! Thanks so much for your positive, upbeat message. And if I am wierd, at least I'm not alone.
Now, 20 days -- that is so wonderful! Don't you feel great? You should pat yourself on the back and let me know if you try moderation at some point and how it goes. I'm going to require some motivation to give it a shot (if I decide to).
Thanks again,
T.

[redrobin]

One Month +... A Revelation?

Ah Mama T! I've had my moments too - but generally it was those glasses of wine over the veggies that worried me most. Those insidious glasses of wine that I wasn't even aware of swigging down were far more dangerous than the drinks I had when I was out and determined to be BAD!!

But no more (she says resolutely!) I do indeed feel good at the moment and pretty determined to keep going at least for the 30 days and maybe for longer.

I'll certainly let you know if or when I decide to try moderation. Like many others I would really like to think that I could enjoy an occasional glass of wine- and keep it to that. Maybe it's worth a try? I'm simply not fussing too much about it right now, I'm too preoccupied trying to find a decent tasting non alcoholic drink!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend.

RR