Just started - 5 days since I drank

[Blossoms]

Hi

I'm not sure where to start or what to say, but as the title says I have gone 5 days now without drinking.

I reached a realisation that I had to do something last Friday night. I was hormonal and emotional and started drinking as I made dinner and kept drinking through the evening by myself. I was drinking sake and had no idea how much I had been drinking until I started throwing up. Luckily my daughter had already gone to bed, so she didn't see thankfully. But I knew that is not the person, not the mother, I wanted to be.

I had one drink and one drink only at a family party on Saturday night and then have not had a drink after that.

I usually drink every night - and my husband drinks too. I told him what I was going to do and asked him not to buy things like sake or wine that we usually drink together. I didn't tell him to stop drinking too - because that is his decision not mine - but he hasn't brought alcohol into the house since then.

I am feeling pretty bad today.... Very anxious and on edge, but the headache from the last few days has faded.
I have been eating a fair bit of chocolate which helps I am pretty addicted to chocolate

I have given up alcohol before , when I was pregnant. I'm doing some of the sane things that helped me then - drinking Perrier from a champagne glass for instance.

I don't really have a question.... Just wanted to connect because it's feeling hard right now.

[Blossoms]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Oh no! My husband has just come home with sake. It's 7.30 pm here and about the time I would start drinking. Sigh. I'm mad at my husband because I asked him to only buy small drinks and only for himself - that I don't want to drink.
He of course is mad that I'm telling him what to do.

This is actually the hardest thing I think. The fact that we are both heavy drinkers - him more than me actually. We have been getting along a lot better than we were previously, but that interaction is based on alcohol.

[Siren136]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Hi Blossoms! :welcome:

Awesome job on 5 days alcohol free! Remember how hard the first few days were? Keep thinking about that and don't cave just because your DH brought sake home. It's his - not yours.

Can you go some place else in the house? Say you're really tired and just go to bed and read? Have some tea instead? Keep reading around these forums and post like mad. We want to help and we can if you let us. We care.

Please take care. Visit the tool box. It has lots of good tips for staying sober, especially in the early days. Here's the link: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

I'm only on day 3 myself, but I already feel much better.

[kuya]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Blossoms Hi and :welcome:

It is hard when your partner is not supportive BUT in the end you must do this for you. It may encourage him or maybe not but this is your life.

Many quit when pregnant, to do it for yourself takes self respect which many of us lack.

Come and join us in the newbies nest and check out the tool box for tips and ideas.

You have 5 days which is awesome, don't go backwards now, the worst of the physical withdrawal is over.

[Blossoms]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Thank you so much!!
Oh god that really helps to get support and encouragement

Yes...it's his - not mine!

I bought myself some chocolate icecream and a special smoothie drink and am going to go have a bath!!
I went to the convenience store, but avoided the alcohol section ..........and I can avoid the alcohol at home!

I don't know why, but I didn't actually find the first few days as hard as today. I had a fun distraction that was alcohol free, so I guess I was pretty well distracted for a while

[kuya]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Day 5 is commonly the worst......all the alcohol is out of your body and your brain is saying WTF ! :H

[Blossoms]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

kuya;1473891 wrote: Day 5 is commonly the worst......all the alcohol is out of your body and your brain is saying WTF ! :H

Ah ... That would explain why I have been so anxious and jumpy today.

I have ADHD and get anxiety with that - although I come across as easy going. I think a lot of my drinking has been to get rid of the anxiety.

I am feeling better now, much calmer and able to do this. The bath and icecream helped
I'm not sure if I should be relying so much on chocolate etc, but one addiction at a time right?

I don't know about tomorrow, but I have decided that I am not going to drink tonight. I've only got a couple of more hours to get through until I can sleep, and I can get through those and not drink.

[Blossoms]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Aaah - things have been a bit difficult with the hubby.

He hadn't figured out what was going on, and why should he? I've never been serious about not drinking before.
He's hurt that I have been avoiding him tonight, but when he came to find me I couldn't stand that he smelled of alcohol and was pretty drunk.

[New Day]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Hi Blossoms.....you can't do anything about talking to hubby tonight, but maybe a good discussion with him tomorrow is in order. Do you think he would be receptive to joining you in going AF?

[Blossoms]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

New Day;1473929 wrote: Hi Blossoms.....you can't do anything about talking to hubby tonight, but maybe a good discussion with him tomorrow is in order. Do you think he would be receptive to joining you in going AF?

He did join me AF this week until today, so there is that.


We talked a little bit tonight, but of course it is not the best time to have a discussion. I'm just not sure what what we can agree to.

I have pushed him before to give up drinking (while ignoring my own drinking problem).
This is the first time I have really seriously looked at myself and actually admitted that I have a problem with alcohol and want to stop drinking.

I already told myself, and him, that I would not tell him to stop drinking. That's not my decision to make.

The problem comes in that I don't want him to bring alcohol into the house, and I was completely disgusted by him smelling of alcohol and didn't want him to be around me at all

[nonamegirl]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Hey Blossoms,

I am also at the same day, having had my last drink on Friday. (But unlike you, I've done this many times before. I say that because it feels so much like being a failure to say that I have done this before. Wish I could say I was stronger.) I have tried and tried and tried to moderate. Went two years with being mostly alcohol free, only to start again this past July. And now, I realize that I really can't moderate, no matter how much I want to, no matter how much my rational mind tells me I should be able to.

And yep, chocolate does help! I know it is a crutch, but I tell myself it makes me happy when I can't have a drink.

And yep, yesterday, Day 5 was HARD. Really hard. But we made it, didn't we? You can do this thing. I know it. I am proud of you.:welcome::goodjob:

[Blossoms]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Thank you so much nonamegirl!
You know, it might feel like a failure to you to be admitting that you've been here a number of times before - but I was just so impressed how brave you are .... To come back and face that and admit it rather than running away and hiding.
I just hope I can be that brave.

My idea was that I want to moderate, so I originally thought I'd go a week without drinking and then cut down (which is where my husband thought I was). Reading these forums I saw advice to go completely alcohol free for 30 days before attempting to moderate.

I don't know if I am kidding myself, but I can't imagine never being able to drink again.

My goal is to get through March without drinking. I chose my name because the Plum Blossoms are out now, and I want to make it till the Cherry Blossoms come out in April.

Yesterday was hard - and it also brought out a lot of things that I need to deal with about things affect my marriage, and about how my marriage affects my drinking. Things I knew deep down, but wasn't prepared to think about.
I think it's no surprise that I married the man that has his own problems with alcohol, rather than the man who doesn't drink. I have had problems with alcohol all my life.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and I am going to take my time to have a conversation with my husband. We are from different cultures with different ways of communicating so I've learnt that it can be better to let things sit with him and then deal with things when he is ready (though I also cannot let it just be swept under a rug).
I've been very critical of him and his drinking in the past ( while conveniently and very carefully not looking at myself). I was also pretty mean to him last night - I just didn't want him round me at all and the smell of alcohol was making me feel sick.
But how often have I been like that?
People in glass houses and all that.....

I have decided that I need to look at it much more positively and practice a lot more kindness.

[paulywogg]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

hi blossoms,maybe your husband will see you doing such a great job and quit or at least cut back,mine has thank goodness,just focus on you for now,getting ourselves healthy is the most important

[nonamegirl]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

Hi again, Blossoms!

(Oh, blooming trees! How lovely! We have had snow several days this week. But I do know spring is coming.)

Okay, since I am also trying to do all of March alcohol free, let's do it together. It sounds as if you and I have a great deal in common, and we can lean on each other. Feel free to send me a PM if you'd like...

[Blossoms]

Just started - 5 days since I drank

I've been posting in another thread, but I think it might be best for me if I just post here as a kind of blog.
I'll repost my posts here... And maybe they'll make some kind of sense

"I'm going AF for March. As I explained in my thread it's blossom season here where I live (in Tokyo). The plum blossoms came out just as I started and I want to make it until the cherry blossoms come out in early April.

It's 5am here on March 9 right now .... Hmmm does that mean I can say it's 7 days already. Probably not, but I can cross off day 5 which was horrendously difficult but which I got through thanks to coming here for help, and day 6 last night when I went to an AA meeting for the first time.