Grieving in Recovery

[almost free]

Grieving in Recovery

Nursie and Nora,

So sorry for your losses. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay close and let us know how you are doing. Writing about it will give you some relief. We are here for you. Sending hugs your way.

Juja, hang in there. I well know that strange, empty feeling. It's not uncommon, when you come from an unhappy, dysfunctional family. We have very painful and mixed emotions. It is the only family we have, and I think part of the grief is for the family we wished we had, but never did. So many things left unsaid.....now, never to be said. Things feel unresolved. And with their passing, we know that things will remain unresolved.

If you are close enough to visit them, I think you will find great peace in telling them how much you love them, before they are gone. Stay close and get your strength from the people here who understand and want to be there for you. You will make it through all this. Hugs to you, too.

[Nursie]

Grieving in Recovery

Oh my dear Nora, I am so very sorry about your father. And only a week ago, this is so fresh. When my brother died, I was in an alcohol induced coma for at least three weeks....I handled it in all the wrong ways for so long.
I will keep you and your family close to my heart, and we can get through this, together, and sober.

[bettygirl]

Grieving in Recovery

wow...first off, so sorry for the loss of your brother...someone who knew all about your life and what you have been through in your childhood must be so incomprehensible. secondly i am proud of you for taking your life into your hands and cherishing yourself and family enough to choose to be sober and present. you are honoring yourself and your brother by doing that, i bet he would be very proud to know that you are doing the "right" things. thirdly, grief is HARD. grief is a process that we have to go through in order to live with the trauma we have experienced. you NEED to feel these things in order to move forward, and it sounds like you are in the right frame of mind to do just that.

i lost my mom to cancer in 2005 when i was 34 and i drank all through the last of her life and for years after her death. i feel like i cheated myself out of really feeling what that loss meant/means to me. i know that being sober is going to bring with it a lot of feelings that i have never really gone through because i was using alcohol and drugs to mask them, soften them, get rid of them...in a way it is a journey and and exciting one at that. we are human beings, we have deep conncections to people, places, things, and we can celebrate those connections and loses by truly experiencing the feelings we have towards them.

we will all face loss in life, we must all learn to deal with it and honor it, and by being sober, we are doing that honestly.

peace

[NoSugar]

Grieving in Recovery

9 months

Nursie;1477287 wrote: I am still here, just didnt have Internet for couple days. Still taking Antabuse. Still sober.
Today is a hard day as its the 9 month anniversary of my brother's death. I have been in quite a funk. His birthday is this Saturday. He would have been 31. I just feel so lost and fractured without him. When I figure out how to post pics I will show you a pic of him.
Sad sad few days here. But I'm doing it sober.

Hi Nursie.

I saw this in the NN - I am so sorry. It sounds like your brother was a constant in your life and your friend, as well as your brother. The monthly anniversaries and the various special events seem to rip open the wounds again. You are so strong not to let this set you back - you are a model for all of us. Your brother was fortunate to have a sister who loved him so much. I hope you are able to post some photos.

NS

[Nursie]

Grieving in Recovery

Thanks for putting it here, NoSug. I'm just not feeling well today. Like I'm back at day one, feeling the horror and disbelief all over again.
Yes, he was my brother, friend and confidant. We had each other when we had no one else in our dysfunctional family. We protected each other. We knew things only we could know or understand. I feel like a deep dark cavern in in my soul that can never be filled until we meet again. Life insists on going on, but I feel like I'm walking around with half of my skin, half of my heart.

[NoSugar]

Grieving in Recovery

It is wonderful you had one another. I bet he would be so proud of you now.