Hi everyone - I was about to post this on another thread then I thought - no, Coco, start your own. Stop hiding behind others like you normally do and step up to the mark. So here goes -
- I have bumped up the thread that inspired me -
HI Seahorse - hope things are going well with you. I lurk here more that I post which is probably why I am not doing very well with my own battle. Your story reminds me very much of my own situation -
My dad died in my arms in 1998 of lung cancer and I drowned myself in booze to cope with the depression that it left me with - lots of other stuff going on at the time also dragged me further down. I did do something positive at this time - thank God I gave up smoking soon after he died (amazing how a terrible experience can focus you in to action). However, I carried on drinking, I used it as the mother of all crutches as it seemed like I had little else positive in my life (I have always had a loving family and I know it but that's depression for you, you can't see the wood for the trees - or in my case wine bottles). I also am ashamed to say that get violent when I have had too much - the last time was a couple of weeks ago when I was off my head completely on giin this time and threw a really heavy plastic storage box at hubby which just missed him and shattered against the wall, leaving a nice dent in it - son saw me do it - I was totally disgusted with myself. I actually remember that incident, usually I blank out at some point and have to be told the full extent of my drunken antics the next morning.
I work full time in a professional capacity and hide this habit so well that some people there think I am tee total - I am now in my early 50's and have already seen a relative suffer from drink-related pancreatitis, also a friend has developed pancreatic cancer (no cure for that one) and I had an uncle die of cirrosis (sp) (all 3 were big shocks - I had no idea that they drank to excess). I see this hiding of the drinking as a symptom od addiction and denial and I can see it within myself - some people would be very shocked / surprised if they knew a tenth of what I do / consume. I don't want to be like those 3 poor people, I want to take action now to stop it before it "gets" me.
So that is what I am doing, this is now day 1 - no excuses, hubby is going to help me (doubt he will stop himself, but he doesn't need to like I do). I am going to post every day for the first 2 weeks with my progress as I need to stay focussed.
Wish me luck!
Regards, Coco xx
- I have bumped up the thread that inspired me -
HI Seahorse - hope things are going well with you. I lurk here more that I post which is probably why I am not doing very well with my own battle. Your story reminds me very much of my own situation -
ive been drinking for god knows how many yrs now and its time to sort it out .it all started for me when my father lay dieing nearly 7 yrs ago of cancer i just blanked it out with getting legless every night as it was the only way i could cope at the time, but i carried on and on and the drinking got worse, i just had to have that drink every night no matter what and it turned in to yrs
this morning i threw my last bottle of red down the sink and was determined to not drink tonight (which i have not )and up to now i have not had a craving or the urge to even have one
i have been cutting down over the past 3 weeks as i was becoming violent when i had a touch to much and i actually hit my beloved hubby which i can not even remember doing! that was the turning point for me,i really thought my life with him was over as i really hurt him
i also work in a shop which is also an off licence and walking out of there tonight was a great feeling having bought no wine to drink in to the wee hours and wake up with the bad head in the morning
this morning i threw my last bottle of red down the sink and was determined to not drink tonight (which i have not )and up to now i have not had a craving or the urge to even have one
i have been cutting down over the past 3 weeks as i was becoming violent when i had a touch to much and i actually hit my beloved hubby which i can not even remember doing! that was the turning point for me,i really thought my life with him was over as i really hurt him
i also work in a shop which is also an off licence and walking out of there tonight was a great feeling having bought no wine to drink in to the wee hours and wake up with the bad head in the morning
I work full time in a professional capacity and hide this habit so well that some people there think I am tee total - I am now in my early 50's and have already seen a relative suffer from drink-related pancreatitis, also a friend has developed pancreatic cancer (no cure for that one) and I had an uncle die of cirrosis (sp) (all 3 were big shocks - I had no idea that they drank to excess). I see this hiding of the drinking as a symptom od addiction and denial and I can see it within myself - some people would be very shocked / surprised if they knew a tenth of what I do / consume. I don't want to be like those 3 poor people, I want to take action now to stop it before it "gets" me.
So that is what I am doing, this is now day 1 - no excuses, hubby is going to help me (doubt he will stop himself, but he doesn't need to like I do). I am going to post every day for the first 2 weeks with my progress as I need to stay focussed.
Wish me luck!
Regards, Coco xx
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