My 30 day plan

[free at last]

My 30 day plan

I myself that this blog would be an honest report of my efforts. Sorry to say, I caved in. Had to make an unplanned trip to southern Africa and arrived to a dinner in my honor. The host had ordered wine from South Africa that I especially enjoyed. Could not bring myself to say "I don't drink anymore." Realized, I am not willing to say that to myself. There is a part of me that really wants to be able to enjoy really fine wine. But, I know where it will lead me.....

So, tomorrow is another day, and I start anew to try to finish my 30 days with no alcohol.

Appreciate the support I receive from MWO members.
Free

[NoSugar]

My 30 day plan

free at last;1482840 wrote: I myself that this blog would be an honest report of my efforts. Sorry to say, I caved in. Had to make an unplanned trip to southern Africa and arrived to a dinner in my honor. The host had ordered wine from South Africa that I especially enjoyed. Could not bring myself to say "I don't drink anymore." Realized, I am not willing to say that to myself. There is a part of me that really wants to be able to enjoy really fine wine. But, I know where it will lead me.....

So, tomorrow is another day, and I start anew to try to finish my 30 days with no alcohol.

Appreciate the support I receive from MWO members.
Free
I wrote to you in the other thread, free:

NoSugar;1482838 wrote: Free, I am so sorry. All of this really is almost out of your control. You have pressures on you some of us cannot even imagine!

I wish I could kidnap you and keep you in my home for a month!

:h:h:h NoSugar

[4thekids]

My 30 day plan

Free: Just move on from here. Better that it be one night than a backwards descent into several nights. We're you able to have just one glass? If not, we're you able to go back to the hotel and to drink there?

If so, each of these are achievements of their own in my mind. I think it would be almost impossible to say no to drinking in that type of environment.

Just move forward. Might be good to come up with an excuse to use for not drinking in case a similar situation arises again in the Near future. Until you abstain for awhile, people are going to continue to offer wine....it will be a struggle until some time has passed.

Keep going...

4thekids

[4thekids]

My 30 day plan

By we're I mean "we're" (damn auto correct) and by "and to drink there" I meant "not drink"

[free at last]

My 30 day plan

Dear 4theKids,
Thanks for your note. i am doing well -- the long periods of time w/out alcohol help me stay motivated. But the work situation is not easy--it is just so pervasive. I know I need to be able to utter the phrase "I don't drink anymore" but I just can't seem to get the words out. Am more comfortable with "trying to cut back", "trying to lose weight" ,"wine gives me headaches" but the truth is I cannot handle alcohol. It is poison for me. But, can i say that? Not yet, but I am hopeful there will come a day. Please know how much I appreciate your and others' encouragement.
Free.

[Byrdlady]

My 30 day plan

Free, I am also in the business world...a male dominated business and my colleagues drink A LOT. Ours is a culture of drinking...it's insane. But remaining AF is totally do-able. I found that most of the barriers I had were between my ears. I perceived that I HAD to join in, that I would be an outcast if I didn't. But guess what? The Earth didn't stop revolving on its axis, the sun DID come up the next day, and my business colleagues don't give a rip! The times that I caved in were times I was just looking for an excuse to do so. If you don't drink no one can force you to, and they wouldn't. I try to look at it now in retrospect...it was peer pressure. But I'm not in high school anymore and this is my liver we're talking about. Don't be embarrassed that you don't drink, because I'd bet you my lunch money your associates wish they didn't either. Chalk this one up to a learning experience but don't be tricked into thinking you can't overcome this!! If I can do it, I know you can!!! I believe in you!!! Byrdie

PS, if you are in a high pressure job, tell them you are having major GI problems...and hold your tummy like you have a bleeding ulcer or something...they all understand this!!

[4thekids]

My 30 day plan

Lol Byrdie!!! That is great. I used to be in a high pressure job and can completely understand where Free is coming from and the feeling that you "must" drink. It is great to hear that you managed and I honestly believe that you are right. Most people who drink regularly wish that they could quit. Thus, you may be a threat to them when you first stop but if you have good excuses they will not mind. Great input!!!!

Free: Do you think you could use one of your excuses for a month? I used the losing weight one for my first 30 days even to my husband so that he wouldn't feel threatened...now he knows my plan is comfortable with it...but I eased into it. I probably did for myself too....so as not to feel like I failed if I didn't make it.

Keep moving forward.

4thekids

[NoSugar]

My 30 day plan

4thekids;1483216 wrote: I honestly believe that you are right. Most people who drink regularly wish that they could quit. Thus, you may be a threat to them when you first stop but if you have good excuses they will not mind.

4thekids

Hi, 4theKids.

This is a pretty small sample size but 2 out of 2 friends I have told about what I am doing replied that they were worried about themselves...! As I gain courage and tell more, people, I suspect to hear more of the same.

You are doing so well! You should be really proud of yourself. NS

[4thekids]

My 30 day plan

No Sugar: I have been doing Atkins and running too which I firmly believe, as I know you do, plays a big part in lessening cravings and ultimately the need/desire to drink. I think without that...the first two weeks would have been unbearable.

I bet your sample is pretty accurate. I just think about how I felt when someone around me wasn't really drinking and I was. That is why I want to have a simple reason without being threatening to others. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about others but you need to survive socially. Byrdie, thoughts??

What did you Say to your two friends, NS? I am curious. I won't be able to be on a diet forever. For now it works but at some point I am going to have to be a bit more forthright...I was thinking of just saying "I don't drink much anymore" and leaving it at that.

I know I sound crazy for asking but it is sort of the next hurdle if you will....explaining to others without alienating yourself socially. I honestly (so far) haven't had a problem being at functions with people drinking when I am not. However, those functions were not sit down dinners -if you will - where your consumption or lack thereof is easily noticed. Just trying to have a story in place so that is simple and easy and limits peer pressure.

4thekids

[NoSugar]

My 30 day plan

4thekids;1483250 wrote: No Sugar: I have been doing Atkins and running too which I firmly believe, as I know you do, plays a big part in lessening cravings and ultimately the need/desire to drink. I think without that...the first two weeks would have been unbearable.

I bet your sample is pretty accurate. I just think about how I felt when someone around me wasn't really drinking and I was. That is why I want to have a simple reason without being threatening to others. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about others but you need to survive socially. Byrdie, thoughts??

What did you Say to your two friends, NS? I am curious. I won't be able to be on a diet forever. For now it works but at some point I am going to have to be a bit more forthright...I was thinking of just saying "I don't drink much anymore" and leaving it at that.

I know I sound crazy for asking but it is sort of the next hurdle if you will....explaining to others without alienating yourself socially. I honestly (so far) haven't had a problem being at functions with people drinking when I am not. However, those functions were not sit down dinners -if you will - where your consumption or lack thereof is easily noticed. Just trying to have a story in place so that is simple and easy and limits peer pressure.

4thekids

Hi, 4thekids,

I told what I describe as a whitewashed version of the truth -- in other words, sins of omission rather than commission. I used my eating pattern as a platform:

I have eaten a relatively low-carb, sugar-free diet for over a year for health reasons. I knew full well that AL was contributing to my health problems but chose to ignore that for a long time. Anyway, so I said truthfully said that the internal inconsistency of not consuming most carbs and sugar while consuming the single most toxic carb/sugar was bugging me (read: ruining my life). The vast improvement in my health from the original changes in my diet made me think (read: admit) I should take the next step. This turned out to be much harder (vast understatement) than any of the others, with which I had little if any problem (b/c what I do eat is so awesomely good! ). Then I told them that I felt so much better w/o AL (about 1 million times!) and saw no reason to drink it again. Given that I am a black/white, on/off type person, they accepted this. I also said that given the challenges, I had no intention of having to quit again (Hey, total truth here )

So what was underplayed?
1. How much of a problem AL was.
2. How hard it was to quit.
3. That I have brand new friends that I LOVE!

A friend I met here pointed out that no one has to tell all of their story to anyone. In fact, you don't have to tell any of your story if you don't want to.

This version of my truth is a tolerable one for me to share with friends. However, it is a great relief to have my new friends who know my whole story and still like me.

Hope that helps. You are doing great! :hNS

[free at last]

My 30 day plan

You ladies are awesome! Thanks No Sugar, 4theKids, and Birdy for the encouragement, advice, and friendship. I think part of the reason I caved in was because I had a change in routine (need to fly to new location on moment's notice) with no plan. Also had no chance to check in with MWO friends who are so good about advice. And, finally, I had no time to exercise or do my meditation. Stress, Loneliness, Pressure all got the best of me.

Now committed to finishing the next 15 days (my original 30 period) AF. Next goal is to be AF for the entire month of April. Can't seem to set a goal of being AF forever, but if I can keep linking the days, I know evening wine consumption will no longer be a pattern for me.

Dashing off, another evening gig.

[free at last]

My 30 day plan

Checking in to let report last night was AF and tonight will be. Off to pool, then a pedicure. Tomorrow evening I fly home, after 12 days on the road. Ready to be back in the USA.

[free at last]

My 30 day plan

Back home, after 22 hours in transit, followed by a "little" nap that turned into a 12 hour sleep. Start of another AF day. Feeling good. Thanks to all for your encouragement.

[Kradle123]

My 30 day plan

Congratulations Free!!

You sound really Grounded even though you've been up in the air for a while

My kids are just starting that "entertainiment' field and though they are young and just whirling along , I can see how stressful and full of booby traps it can get. The emotional highs and lows coupled with boredom from just waiting....very tough.
Thank God I have my IPad! and the twins will be getting tablets for their birthdays (they saved up the money from working and Christmas...very proud of them ) so they will have another boredom buster at hand...

Stay strong, Stay close,
:l

[free at last]

My 30 day plan

Just checking in -- another AF day yesterday. Went to take a little nap at 5pm and slept for 13 hours. The jetlag is hard on me this trip, but hey, I'm not tempted to drink when I am sleeping!