I feel so stupid

[bgg]

I feel so stupid

:goodjob:

nattie;111556 wrote: wow - just logged on & wanted to say thank you so much for the lovely messages & support.
I DO want to do this for myself & think in some perverse way he is trying to see me fall flat on my face. We haven't been getting on for a long while, a lot to do with the drink and its almost like he has written off my attempts before I start.
I have just asked him a minute ago that should he want to drink I don't have a problem with it but please don't ask me to buy it - it seems te 2 times I have done I have felt the need to drink myself.......some stupid sort of association, who knows.

thanks again guys - you are all so great.

xx

:goodjob: i am new on here and just reading some of the comments have made determined that i do want to give up the booze , my drinking has spiralled over two years and now i really want to change , as i have said reading these post and the support you give each other is great , so when i get the craving i will log on and hopefully get the support of others :h

[Popeye]

I feel so stupid

Hello Natie,
I think you did the right thing. It's hard enough trying to look after yourself in our circumstances, without extra pressure being applied by those who are supposed to have our wellfare at heart.
bgg:welcome:

[betty boop]

I feel so stupid

Well done nattie, xx

bgg a huge :welcome:

[Guest]

I feel so stupid

Good for you!! You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Why should you have a drink to make him feel more comfortable, that does not make any sense. Sounds like he has some issues which he needs to work on himself. Don't be bullied, there are lots of people out there who don't drink, I'm trying to work my way towards that group!

[tea]

I feel so stupid

Hi there, have to agree with weemelon, you choosing not to drink while in company is only an issue if someone makes it an issue, also, speaking for myself here, I am more embarrasing pissed as fart than I ever am sober, so which would your hubby prefer? Yes mine has asked me to go to shop for drink for him loads of times and whenever I do - guess what - I have to 'help' him finish it, no such thing as voddy left in bottle in my house!! Yes I have tried the just buy HIM a half bottle, not enough for you too, but no, I find myself sitting staring/drooling at his glass - ho hum! You are not alone.

Lorna

[Barbie Ellen]

I feel so stupid

Dont dispear

nattie;111314 wrote: Thanks Betty - I just feel so out of control - he is embarresed when I drink & then suggests on a dinner out I had the other night I drink so as not to "stand out". Which one?!!??
So stupid about the drinking in secret thing...what was I thinking. Standing there swaying & proffesing to not a drop had touched my lips. Stupid.

thanks again

xx

Hey Nattie,
ALot of us women (and men) are saying the same thing...my husband can tolerate my drinking, but when he wants to go out and have a good time it is ok for me to have a few..so my drinking is on his terms...i did it for a long time because I didnt want to stop drinking but always ended up back at the bar by myself or sitting in front to the TV with a glass of something. Its hard to tell your other half "hey I cant drink either can you", they dont have the problem we do. But they must be supportive if they love us, if they cant then we cant have them around at this curcial point in our sobriety.

[Newyear]

I feel so stupid

Hi Nattie...ditto to all above. Especially about doing this for you - it has to be for you or it won't work - at least not long term.
I've been af for right at 5 months now and I think I would have an issue if I had to go buy alcohol for someone else- so I completely understand that issue.
But this is all about you getting better - feeling better, physically and emotionally too.
One thing that has helped me in the past when working on something like this (worked with smoking too) is that I get angry. Angry at the cigarettes and the alcohol and any and everything about it. I'm not angry now, but it did help me in the beginning. Made me feel that I wasn't missing out on anything. Kind of a "HELL no, I won't drink and you can't make me!!" I think it made me feel like I was in charge of the situation.
Anyway....best wishes. Do it for you!
Lisa
btw...the 'hell no I won't drink and you can't make me' ....that was an internal dialogue...I didn't acually say that to anyone