Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

[prettytulip]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Thanks kuya, just trying to focus on my plan and remain positive. dreading heading out to work as i live in a small town and worry about any destruction i caused on the last episode which led me to this community and day 2. but i know i can't take back the past, i just have to focus on today and my af future.

Have a good day

[Quest for the key]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Hello PT

Just wanted to wish you well

Hang in there hunny, as I am doing (by my fingernails lol) and I'm sure we can get this monkey off our backs once and for all

[Byrdlady]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

PT, you are doing great, in the words of Walt Disney...AcCENT-u-ate the Postive....eeeee-limmm-a-nate the negative! You are doing great! Byrdie

[K9Lover]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

PrettyTulip,

You are doing great! Focus on the here and now...not yesterday, not tomorrow. I'm trying to kick the nicotine demon to the curb...so lets make a deal...you don't drink today and I won't smoke today...just today ok? We'll worry about tomorrow, well, tomorrow!

You CAN do this. We are here for you!

K9

[prettytulip]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Deal k9!!! I stayed iff the booze tonight and i hope you managed a smoke free day and that the deal is on for day 3- no booze for me, and no ciggies for u!

I'm off to bed now...sober, proud of myself, thankful and happy.

Stay strong everyone

[Byrdlady]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

GREAT JOB!!! I am so proud of you! On to day 3, and so it goes.....rest well! B

[Mootsbill]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Hi pretty tulip, well done on day 2. As you gain sober days the shameful ones will disappear into the background. Don't worry what people think concentrate on you and your family ;0)

[prettytulip]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

DAY 3

Well day three has started out well thanks for your good wishes byrdlady and your great advice Mootsbill. I'm finding it really hard to move on from my shameful drinking days, and worse, the ones i can' remember due to the black.outs. But i'm trying to focus on the now and my family, namely my husband- once his anger and disappoitment has subsided he is by my side encouraging me and supporting me. So i'm trying to ignore and forget my past disgraces and focus on today. Do you think that is the right thing to do? Or should i somehow try to deal with my mistakes( which wouldbe quite difficult because i remember next to nothing)? Any advice to help with these feelings of dread and doom woild be greatly appreciated. I don't know what it is, i just feel like my world is about to come crashing down. I even feel panicky about going into work in case my drinking has led to consequences there.

My husband is away tonight too for an overseas business trip. I used to look forward to his trips as it gave me an opportunity to drink without his disapproval (how horrible) . But tonight i'm going tofollow my plan, use the tips and log on to mwo to keep myself away from that dangerous first drink.

I wish u all a sucessful af day...together we can fight this demon!!

[Struggles 106]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Hi Pretty Tulip

HELLO-
It's normal to have the feelings of dread etc. Aftre all the feelings are exactly what we try to escape with alcohol.
As for doing something about your mistakes-I say NO. Unless you know of a specific incident that needs and apology, then there is no sense in worrying about the past.

You might need to be extra vigilant if your drinking was common with your husband gone. I know exactly what you mean--when the cat's away the mice will drink themselves senseless. LOL

Hang in there and I'm so glad you are here

[halfway content]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Hello pt,

Congratulations on Day Two. I am not that far ahead of you at a Day Nine. Here is how I chose to handle my past and all of the drinking: I am not looking back yet, no beating myself up, no regrets. I am concentrating so very hard on today, this very moment. The day will come when I ask those close to me for forgiveness, but right now is whenI am giving 100 percent of my time and energy to staying AF. Good luck. This can be done. It is obtainable!

[I'mOnMyWay]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Hi PrettyTulip,

I am on day 8 AF, and can relate so much to your posts...my hubby travels for work (he is gone now), and I too, looked forward to him being gone so that I could drink like I wanted to.

Once I got to day 4 AF, the shame of things I've done drunk kind of subsided and turned to being proud of myself for getting that far.

This board is great- I lurk more than I post, but that still helps immensely. Welcome and I'm looking forward to both of us celebrating 30 days AF and beyond

[K9Lover]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

PT -

I wouldn't focus on the past too much. Believe me, the memories will come back at different times, mostly unexpected. When they do, then you can deal with them. I don't ever TRY to remember anything, but sometimes I get a flashback that stops me dead in my tracks. I even turn red from embarrassment, although nobody else even realizes what's going on. The mental roller coaster will last a while, I'm afraid. But just be prepared for it and know that it won't last FOREVER. If it did, none of us would succeed.

Hang in there. You CAN do this, and we can help! :l

K9

[halo]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

Keep up the great effort Pretty Tulip, I agree with K9 and halfway, at this point in the game you need to focus on the future and focus on being AF.

Blacking out is the worst, and I drove myself crazy go over all the stupid things I did, and trying to remember what I could have done, it made me very depressed and I ended up relapsing.
Now I've focused on setting an AF course life and am determined to succeed, the future will be better, no one can change the past, but we can learn from it..Keep up the awesome work..

[prettytulip]

Day 1... first day of the rest of my life

DAY 5

Thanks for the great advice- I've written your words in my little 'AF notebook' (which goes with me everywhere) so that I can re-read your words when I have a pang of dread or guilt. You're all absolutely right about focusing on today and concentrating on being AF, and I hope that I can start to learn from it soon too Halo.

I hope that you are staying strong whilst your husband is away IOMW! And it's nice to know that you're lurking around here

Once again, thank you for all for your support and advice.

Day 5...Bring it on!!