I need to stop

[mommacog]

I've been here before several times. I've let myself fall into the cycle of drinking a lot of wine every night again. I usually start drinking when I start making dinner, so by the time we sit down to eat I've had several glasses and then I just keep drinking until I pass out. I thought that nobody really noticed, but last night my 13 year old daughter was ready to leave our house, her friend's mother drove over to get her. She ended up staying but there were many tears and she was begging me to stop drinking. She wouldn't talk to me while I was drunk. I am scared to death that I will not be able to do this. My husband also drinks daily and I think he likes it when we're both drinking, so I feel like I don't have a chance here. I want so badly to give my kids a good mom. I can't believe that this is what I've become..

[prettytulip]

I need to stop

Hi mommacog and welcome back.

I new here (day 5) so I don't really have any solid words of wisdom or advice, but I hope you stick around and lean on others in the same situation. I don't think I would have made it this far without the tips, support and advice from others.

Stay strong

[Byrdlady]

I need to stop

Momma, I had to check the date on your post to make sure it was current. Why? Because I have read that post 1000 times from others who have just had it with AL. This is a great starting point! Be sure to make your way the Newbie's Nest, and the Tool Box, link is in my signature line...(or soon will be, I am having momentary trouble). The Newbie's nest is full of folks in all stages of his/her quit, so you will be in excellent company and more importantly, get the support you need to do this. Go to the last page for the most current, but then read back a week or so to get to know us. The How-To's you need are in the Tool Box...there are 100's of tips and coping skills to help you thru those first challenging days. Please don't be scared...this is NOT as hard as you think...if an old drunk like me can do it, I KNOW you can!! Welcome aboard!! Byrdie

[halfway content]

I need to stop

Good morning mommacog,

I am 11 days in. It is hard to quit, but I am so glad I finally got started. Can you taper off the wine before you quit? Maybe have your first glass with dinner, then cork the bottle and put it away? You will hear and read all sorts of advice and I hope you find something that works for you. Posting has made the difference for me. Best of luck to you.

[nonamegirl]

I need to stop

Welcome back!

Hi, Mommacog. Yes, you did right by coming back. I see from your "join" date that you have been around awhile... I also joined years back (longer ago than you) under a different name. Ah, well. If we don't learn the first or the second time, eventually we either sink or swim, and you and I are swimming. You are doing absolutely the right thing. Keep coming here, keep reading. Take what you need and leave the parts that seem harsh or not comforting. But keep coming back. You are among friends here, people who really understand.:l

[Struggles 106]

I need to stop

HEY MOMMACOG

Welcome back! Sometimes it takes a while to "get it"

I agree with what everyone has said, and I wanted to chime in a bit-

I had 2 drunk parents and I cannot stress enough the damage that was done to me and my siblings. It would be enough to consider stopping for YOU, and when you add children to the mix it should be more motivation. At age 13 your daughter is in a difficult time and she needs you. Sober.

I am not trying to make you feel bad or anything like that at all; I'm just saying what my own experience was. THere is no substitute for the safety and security of a stable home life, the soft place to land that we all need to have. The chaos and instability of a drinking environment CHANGES who your child IS. With 7 kids we have 4 alcoholic and 3 not-who knows why that is? But we all were damaged. Profoundly so.

As you mentioned wine-I have a sister who drinks at least a bottle of wime every night. She actually makes fun of me for quitting, sort of. That is OK with me since I don't really want to die a drunk.

I wish you all the strength and determination that you need to succeed!

[Wagoneer]

I need to stop

You are in the right place. You can do this. I did and I am a wino from way back. Day 22 and I never felt better. I went 11 months until I dropped my guard. Certainly was not worth it. I am a mother of three and looking back, I KNOW that stopping the drink was the best decision I ever made. Stay close, read and post and remember that you are doing this not only for your health, but for your daughter.

[Starfish1]

I need to stop

Great job on coming back to the site, momma- We really can help you, if you are ready to quit :l
Please join us in the nest, like Byrdie said. You will get tons of support from those of us who have been exactly where you are and understand what you are going through. We can do this, together!

[Tipplerette]

I need to stop

I hear you Mommacog, we are all in the same boat. It`s hard to come back and face the truth isn`t it.. but you have my respect for doing so. I let my drinking husband goad me into falling off the wagon way back in January and never really picked up where I left off. I, too, am ready, tail between the legs to begin this spring clear headed and free of this depressing, habit. All the good wishes in the world from me to you in this endeavor.

Tips

[Kradle123]

I need to stop

Hi Momma and good Morning !

First off, I missed an entire Thanksgiving meal once for the exact same reason: pretty much drank through making the meal
I couldn't imagine maing a meal without my glass of wine...no way! Amazingly though, I can do this now. It wasn't easy at first but here I am, about three weeks (after many days on and many days off ) into it and actually, it doean't bother me now. I do make the meals early in the day sometimes when I feel tempted and then just pop it all in the oven or mix the salade...

You are in THE BEST place to get a grip on this. All our stories are unique but Tipp is right: We are all in the same boat, keeping each other afloat and moving forward across the waves. :l

Tipp:l So So Happy to see you back. 2 big hugs for you my friend. :l:l

[K9Lover]

I need to stop

Welcome Momma! :l

Wow...I can identify with you. My 12 year old daughter (at the time) gave me tear stained letter that she had written me. She told me that the ONLY bad thing in her life was her fear that I would die from drinking and smoking. Well, that was the beginning of the end of my drinking career. I'd love to say that I stopped right then and there, but I didn't. It took a while. BUT...it planted a seed that has since grown into 449 sober days so far for me. You CAN do this too. Look at my signature and see WHY I quit drinking. I quit for her, stay sober for me, and it benefits us both.

We are here for you. Stick close, read, read and read...you'll see we've all been there/done that and completely understand what you're going through. Join us in the Newbies Nest!!

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...402-30074.html

K9

[4thekids]

I need to stop

Momma: There are so many wonderful people on this board who will all help you through this. When you have a craving, esp. In the beginning, think of your daughter and her face when she was trying to leave and how you don't want to be the person who causes her that pain anymore. Also, when you are tempted to take your first drink, think about where that first drink will lead...to 4,5,6,7 or 8 more.

I too stopped for my 4 children (hence the handle). Thankfully, my children are 6 and under so they have not really absorbed the drunk vs. sober mom yet. They do notice though...even at their young age. look forward from today and recognize that this change you make while extremely difficult, agonizing, terrifying and slightly personally embarrassing (to us all)....will get so much easier with time and the rewards for doing it will become so much more of a motivator.

As a mother, generally (but not always) we set the tone of the household and how everyone functions within it. My husband also drinks and when I decided to begin this journey 32 days ago, I realized that I could not expect that my decisions could/would/or should become his decisions. He has continued to drink(I don't think he needs to stop-perhaps moderate a bit more) but I do think that my changes both in attitude and behavior are slowly having an influence on him too. I am hoping that eventually he drinks less frequently and just socially too so that our children will not be around it often. I have noticed that since I stopped, he doesn't generally pull out a beer until the kids are in bed or just before...very good improvement.

If you can try to promise yourself to at least give this "no drinking thing" a try for 30 days...you may see some wonderful surprises that come out of it which may give you the motivation to go on for a longer stretch. If at the end of 30 days, you don't feel any different, well you haven't lost anything for trying. Just try to set your sights on 30 days right now. Don't think too big or too long. Don't make any grand proclamations to anyone about stopping...just give it a try for yourself. See where it goes...

4thekids
Day 32 AF

[BHOG]

I need to stop

Mommacog:
You cannot go back and change the past. You, and only you, can change your future. We can help, hold your hand so to speak, but you have to decide what you really want your life to be.
Having said that, welcome to the club. As Byrdlady siad, many of us have been in your shoes. So come on, lean on us, talk and cry with us. but remember, you CAN do this if it is important to you.
Stay STRONG!
BHOG

[spiderwoman]

I need to stop

I was also a wind drinker, couldn't get enough of the stuff until I decided I'd had enough of being ruled by it.

Join us in the nest and good luck, it is so worth it.

[Oneredshoe]

I need to stop

mommacog;1480842 wrote: I've been here before several times. I've let myself fall into the cycle of drinking a lot of wine every night again. I usually start drinking when I start making dinner, so by the time we sit down to eat I've had several glasses and then I just keep drinking until I pass out. I thought that nobody really noticed, but last night my 13 year old daughter was ready to leave our house, her friend's mother drove over to get her. She ended up staying but there were many tears and she was begging me to stop drinking. She wouldn't talk to me while I was drunk. I am scared to death that I will not be able to do this. My husband also drinks daily and I think he likes it when we're both drinking, so I feel like I don't have a chance here. I want so badly to give my kids a good mom. I can't believe that this is what I've become..

You can do it, you just have to set your mind to be 100% committed and do whatever it takes to protect your quit. I have been 46 consecutive AF days, and I did it all while my husband did and still does drink nightly. It was very much a struggle at first as my husband definitely loved it when we drank together, he was very upset to lose his "playmate" but quickly got over it the more AF days I racked up. You can do this!