I am 38, have a great husband and two wonderful daughters. I worked in the health care field for 12 years and just recently (a year ago) left my job to be at home for my girls (they are 6 and 2). I love being a stay at home mom but my alcohol use has gotten out of hand.
I never drank in high school, there is no history of alcohol abuse in my family (that I know of), my parents drank at times, always responsibly, college I worked in a bar and rarely had more than a beer or two. In 20s, while working, I would go out with friends and drink occasionally but never drank alone at home. But my use of alcohol completely escalated about six years ago.
After my first pregnancy, I started having some issues with anxiety and started drinking more and more wine at night to calm myself and "relax". I remember feeling shocked when I would realize I had finished one bottle of wine to myself. This went on at least four nights a week. Always at home, didn't drink much in front of friends and family. My husband drank more at that time too and we never really confronted each other about it.
It got better for a time. I saw a therapist, started feeling better, and we started trying for another baby. I was healthy and feeling great during that pregnancy and our daughter was born in the summer of 2010. I nursed her for 10 months so didn't drink then either.
Then things got crazy at work. My office moved further and doubled my commute. My husband changed careers (to a job he loves so much more but the schedule is tougher/longer). It was stressful and I felt like I was shouldering everything. So I started drinking again. Always in the evening, on my own.
That continues now. Generally finish about two bottles of wine each night on my own. I start around 4:30 when I start prepping dinner (seems to be a common theme around here!). Would finish up around 10:00 and pass out on the couch. I hide it in the baking supply cabinet in the kitchen because my husband never goes in there. He has never said anything and I wonder sometimes if he even has any idea of how much I drink.
I was just diagnosed with reflux. I don't want this to turn into esophageal cancer and my risk factor with drinking is just too frightening to continue.
So today is my day one. I poured out an entire bottle of wine so there is no more in the house. Going to check out the newbie nest and get comfortable here.
Thanks to anyone who reads this. I'm glad to finally be a "real" poster on here. I look forward to having a signature that shows my AF days and watching that number grow. Going to order the book and check out the meditation stuff too.
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