Brand new here.. would love some advice..

[Lamb777]

Hi everyone... thank you for sharing these thoughts.. I am new here & very nervous, very hard to start here saying what i think i need to say...
I am a female & have been heavily drinking for about 2 years. Roughly 1 or 2 bottles of wine a night. There have been several days during that time when i didn't have a drink but would maybe take a pill to calm me down. The quantity I have been drinking recently, like in the past few months is way too much & i know it. I have been going through a hard time, a breakup, etc & have been using it to cope. It took me 6 days to drink 2 full large bottles of vodka. I just want to lay out the facts here, don't mean to wander on....
Bottom line, i want to stop & hopefully socially drink. I have researched this like crazy & i'm scared but more scared of dying. I just want to hear any of your thoughts, i could really use some help. I feel like i want to taper off. I am excessively scared of having a seizure or anything else.. i'm so scared i will probably have one because I'm fearing it so much. I can't devastate my family.. i really need to do this right. Since i made up my mind about tapering, i'm trying to get started & i guess my main question right now is, does it matter what your alcohol of choice is when tapering? I've read alot about tapering with beer in general... does it matter for me since i've been drinking liquor & wine (i've had beers here & there but the wine & vodka has been in very heavy amounts)

I would appreciate any help so so much... thanks for listening..

[K9Lover]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Hi Lamb and welcome!

I think you will find that the amounts you are drinking is not uncommon around here. I was never able to taper because once I start, I simply can't stop. I went to the doctor and got medication to prevent serious withdrawals and seizures. Is this an option for you? In my opinion, that's the safest way. But if not, you can cut down each night. I don't know the exact amounts since I was never able to do it. Someone else will be along soon to help you with that!

As far as being able to "socially drink", yes, I do believe that's what we all hoped for when we came here. The truth is that for most of us, that's just not an option. We've tried everything and still can't do it. Now I'm not saying that you won't be able to moderate, a FEW people can and there is even a section here for those that choose to do so.

Why don't you join us over in the Newbies Nest...we'd love to hear more about you and you'll find tons of support and advice there.

I'm glad you're here!

K9

[Byrdlady]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Hey Lamb!! Welcome to the site! I'd like to invite you over to the Newbie's Nest! The link is in my signature line below...we have folks in all stages of his/her quit. I THINK there is information on tapering in the Tool Box (link also below)...I wouldn't swear to that, but I think it's in there...As the name implies, there are 100's of tips and coping skills to help you thru the first challenging days! I know that someone in the nest has a link in her signature line about tapering...but think it's Almost free...(that is her screen name). I drank about a liter of wine per day...(bottle and a half?) and I did cold turkey, so I can't speak to the tapering situation...I found that as I tried to taper I seemed to drink more???!!! It was nuts.
I hope you'll join us in the Nest, it is a wonderful, supportive place...go to the last page for the most current posts...Hope to see you there! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Cross post, K9!!! Same message!!! Oy! XXOO, B

[K9Lover]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Well...it was a good message! LOL

Hope we didn't overwhelm you Lamb!!

[Struggles 106]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Hi there

"Social drinking?" I'm afraid that I don't know what that is.

If that means a couple of drinks with friends and that's all, well.......I for one cannot do that.

But like K9 says you might be a person who can.

They will help you very much in the nest

[TheSunFlower]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Glad that you joined us.

I am not a doctor. I do believe that "what you drink"....is important. For example if you drank the same ounces of beer....you will consme much less AL....than from wine of liquor. I learned that the hard way.

I really do not think you would have a seizure (my rational as well).....but, I would plan a few days to detox the stuff out of your system.....and you will be amazed at how fast you feel better. My way to do this....has been soaking in Epson Salts, B-100, Fish Oil and lots of magnesium.

I did have a friend who had a seizure.....but, honestly his this was a result of drinking much heavier than you are for 30 years.

For all of us this is a journey. We did not become heavy drinkers overnight.

I hear you on being scared of giving it up totally. My mind would rationalize it away. I would give it up.....and then think I was missing out....so I would start back up slowly. Its a shitty way to live.

AL is a drug. And I do not miss drug addicton at all. It takes time. So give yourself that. And if you drink.....don't ever, ever give up.

The very first step is realizing that you have a problem to begin with. That is 80% of the battle.

I do reccomend a book that has changed my life...."Alcohol Lied To Me". It was not an overnight sensation for me.....but I read the book slowly....and just took it in.

Moderating....I think was a "passion" of mine for too long. Sure, I could do it for awhile....and it was torture. Now not drinking is my choice and at the end of day easier.

Wishing you success!

[Siren136]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Hi Lamb and welcome to the site!

You sound scared and overwhelmed. Please just take a couple of deep breaths.

Go ahead - I'll wait.

...

Now that that's done, it's time to evaluate where you are at this moment. Don't worry about tomorrow or next week. Let's get through the next 5 minutes.

Tapering is a good idea. Yes, you can taper on beer and I would suggest that if you aren't a beer fanatic. I, too, love my wine and vodka and can take or leave beer. I tapered using beer too - I think that's a good idea.

You need to research tapering and come up with a good plan. You'll need to write down the plan (i.e., reduce by a couple of beers each night). I recommend treating alcohol like medicine - only take what you need and get off as soon as possible. Treat your withdrawal symptoms as needed and only drink when you ABSOLUTELY need to do so to treat the symptoms. If you don't have symptoms, then don't drink. Write down what you do end up drinking so you have a record for the next day. Strongly consider seeing your doctor and coming clean about your drinking.

Don't think about moderation - those are thoughts for the future. You have the rest of your life to think about the rest of your life. Right now think about quitting 'for now'.

[Elliesmom]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

I don't know anything about tapering, so have nothing to offer because I failed every time I tried. But I also hadn't researched anything and was just winging it

But I totally agree with Siren and others about focusing on quitting fornow and putting off thoughts about whether or not you can moderate for much further down the road.

For me, even if I could stop with "just 1" drink or drink normal quantities only in social situations were I to begin again, much of my day would STILL be spent obsessing about when the next time is that I can have that one or two drinks. It's not just the lost memories, black outs and hang-overs that I never want to go back to again -- it's the constant all-day obsessing about AL (even if just 1 drink) rather than being 100% present for my kids, my husband, my friends, my job, that I never want to go back to either. So even if I had a magic switch I could pull to stop myself from having more than 1, there's no magic switch in my particular brain that keep AL at the bottom of the mental priority list. Maybe some people can do that, but as Siren said, don't think about that now. This really is one-day-a-time. Take good care of yourself right now!

[I'mOnMyWay]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

I could have written Elliesmom's post verbatim..............it's exhausting calculating how and when the next drink will be consumed / bought/ etc.

I was / have been a relatively heavy drinker (1.5 bottles of wine most days), and just went cold turkey- no tapering. Granted, candy is now my "drug" of choice (ugh)....sweet tooth is crazy, but that is another story. lol....I guess better Skittles than booze!

Anyway get some good, AF days in before even thinking about moderating- worry about that later. We are all here and in this together.

[Lamb777]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

wow.....I am blown away, in a good way! thank you so much, everyone! sounds crazy, but by all of this positive feedback i am about to cry! you all sound so intelligent too. everything you've all said makes so much sense.... i will go to the newbies nest thanks!!

[lizker]

Brand new here.. would love some advice..

Tapering off works when you have a plan to completely abstain. During my several quits, I would set a quit date usually a weekday as I would be at work all day then go straight to the gym till 8 or 9 ish. I would take one or two beers when I would get home and eat a nutritious meal, usually a grilled chicken
salad with spinach for amino acids and minerals. I would repeat this the following day. By the third day I would not have any desire to drink at all. I would keep going to the gym every day until I would have a few days under my belt.
Tapering with beer can definitely work but its a combination of strategies in my case.