This is my first post to any site or blog. Ever.
I've read heaps but never found the courage or conviction to take the plunge of change. I drink every day of my life. Sometimes 3-4 drinks sometimes 8-10 a night. But it's every night. Drinking interferes with the person I want to be. Best Mum and wife ever, astute student (ironically I study natural medicine so I know the effects of drinking) avid runner, gardener, etc.
I feel drinking zaps my motivation, literally sucks the mojo right out of me. It makes me lazy both mentally and physically, induces irritability and causes insomnia.
Every night I lay awake from 3-5am while my family sleeps. It 5:16 am now.
I can stop at a couple drinks most of the time. But I can't stop reaching for that first wine every evening. I drink wine or a cocktail while I cook. Then another while we have dinner. Then a couple more while I study or watch a movie.
My husband has the same drinking patterns but it doesn't seem to effect him. He sleeps solid. He doesn't stress over his drinking like I do. I think he will drink heaps less if I cut down too.
I also have had unexplained infertility for 8 years and I can't help but wonder if my drinking has contributed and if I have caused permanent damage to myself that may affect a future child if I am able to fall pregnant some day.
So what is my goal!?! Drinking is such an integral part of my social circle. I don't want to go around my circle saying 'yeah I'm an alco so I had to give it all up.' I do enjoy a drink particularly the comfortably numb sensation but that doesn't come with a drink or two. That's after 4-5. And I don't want to drink that many so what's the use of drinking then? Seriously why do people drink one drink? It doesn't give you a buzz, it makes you a little tired and its full of calories. Surely it's not the taste.
I can think of 20 more reasons I need to stop like my concentration and memory are bad. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking its ok to drink this much. I don't want to do something while drunk to jeopardize my relationship with my husband or daughter. I want to be healthy and run marathons, I want to be a knowledgable practitioner who practices what I preach not live a double life!! All these things and more.
Sigh. I am going to start my journey to sobriety today. Just not sure how I'm going to do it yet.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Whoever's out there. (:
I've read heaps but never found the courage or conviction to take the plunge of change. I drink every day of my life. Sometimes 3-4 drinks sometimes 8-10 a night. But it's every night. Drinking interferes with the person I want to be. Best Mum and wife ever, astute student (ironically I study natural medicine so I know the effects of drinking) avid runner, gardener, etc.
I feel drinking zaps my motivation, literally sucks the mojo right out of me. It makes me lazy both mentally and physically, induces irritability and causes insomnia.
Every night I lay awake from 3-5am while my family sleeps. It 5:16 am now.
I can stop at a couple drinks most of the time. But I can't stop reaching for that first wine every evening. I drink wine or a cocktail while I cook. Then another while we have dinner. Then a couple more while I study or watch a movie.
My husband has the same drinking patterns but it doesn't seem to effect him. He sleeps solid. He doesn't stress over his drinking like I do. I think he will drink heaps less if I cut down too.
I also have had unexplained infertility for 8 years and I can't help but wonder if my drinking has contributed and if I have caused permanent damage to myself that may affect a future child if I am able to fall pregnant some day.
So what is my goal!?! Drinking is such an integral part of my social circle. I don't want to go around my circle saying 'yeah I'm an alco so I had to give it all up.' I do enjoy a drink particularly the comfortably numb sensation but that doesn't come with a drink or two. That's after 4-5. And I don't want to drink that many so what's the use of drinking then? Seriously why do people drink one drink? It doesn't give you a buzz, it makes you a little tired and its full of calories. Surely it's not the taste.
I can think of 20 more reasons I need to stop like my concentration and memory are bad. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking its ok to drink this much. I don't want to do something while drunk to jeopardize my relationship with my husband or daughter. I want to be healthy and run marathons, I want to be a knowledgable practitioner who practices what I preach not live a double life!! All these things and more.
Sigh. I am going to start my journey to sobriety today. Just not sure how I'm going to do it yet.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Whoever's out there. (:
This time 4 SURE! 
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