No fooling -- April 2013 AF

[NoSugar]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

free at last;1494823 wrote: I am earning my freedom from this drug.

It is hard-earned but SO worth the effort! I saw you on the Roll Call - great to have you there!

[free at last]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Thanks, NS. Had to get through a big dinner last night. Figured it was one more way to keep me accountable to myself and to my MWO friends! Here's to a great Sunday.

[jenniech]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

hello april fools!!! (j/k)
sick so not posting much but reading.
hope this beautiful sunny sunday will clear my head a little bit more.
yesterday was horrible.
I have so much to say but not enough energy to say it.....
:l to all

[free at last]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Reporting in that today was AF for me. Had a lot of thoughts about "just a glass of wine" but pushed them aside, hit the gym, and treated myself to a massage (on the money saved from not drinking!). Ready for another day tomorrow.

[NoSugar]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

:jumpwow: roud:

But more importantly, you are proud of you!

NS

[free at last]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Thanks, NS. I am proud to have made it thus far. Spent the weekend completely sequestered in my hotel working on major assignments. Realized I probably didn't speak ten sentences in total (and that was to hotel staff!) In the past, with this much alone time, I would have had a couple of drinks in the late afternoon and again with dinner. Not now! Starting to enjoy this sober life of mine.

[jenniech]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

wow free at last....I would find that hard! All alone in a hotel room..... The fact that you are doing it is AWESOME...and I would bet your are feeling GREAT!!! :goodjob:

[halo]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

I agree jenniech! If free can, we all can!!! Keep up the good work free...

On to another week, almost done April and then on to an AF May!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Hi All. I'm ashamed to say that I slipped last night. And I really didn't have a good reason. I was not having a depressed day or an anxiety attack. I actually didn't think at all. Anyhoo. Needless to say I'm very disappointed in myself but I'm still determined to get better. Instead of dwelling on yesterday I'm going to think about today and the rest of April and focus on getting better.

Much love and strength to you all today!

[jenniech]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

MS: First off, don't beat yourself up about this. I stopped and started and stopped and started and stopped,,,,,etc (you get the picture) SO MANY TIMES. We each have our OWN journey. In the past, I myself have slipped for no good reason so you are in good company (if I do say so myself). The really awesome part about your post is the post itself. You came back to MWO instead of slinking away... That is fantastic. Use this as a tool and reference point. You are right to not dwell on this, but don't forget it either.

Rome wasn't built in a day.....Again, I am so happy that you came back to fight the fight. We need you here!!! Treat yourself gingerly today....lots of water with lemon to help your liver recover and move on to sober days.
:h

[Mein Sonnenschein]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Thank you Jenniech. I'm trying not to be hard on myself. I threw a "pity party" this morning, beating myself up about being a failure. But that was non-productive and just plain silly. Then I thought the best thing to do is get back up and try again. I will be successful but it will take longer than I thought it would take. Patience is not a virtue that I possess and I need to work on that. Thank you again for being there for me.

[NoSugar]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Hi, MS

One thing that helped me was changing the words I use about all this;
e.g. from: I hope I don't drink tonight to: I won't drink tonight.

The one that I am thinking of related to your experience is from:
I slipped to: I chose.

I am not trying to be harsh here - the beauty is that in this battle, we really do have choices. I think of some other medical challenges I have had that I was at the mercy of my doctors and fate --- I would have loved to be able to choose my outcome.
This whole thing has been tough but we can all choose to be sober!

As always, wishing you all the best! :h NS

[Mein Sonnenschein]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

NS, you are soooo right. It is definitely a choice, just like it always has been. Mind over matter, right?! Luckily today starts a brand new day so I need to start fresh with a good attitude. Thank you for the support!

[free at last]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Hi all, reporting in -- what a day. Had a verbal tussle at work that really had me steaming. Immediately the thought of alcohol entered my head (and it was only 11:30am!). Stewed on this for over an hour and decided I was being nonproductive but KNEW I would need to be extra vigilent tonight when I got back to the hotel. And what was there? Another bottle of complimentary wine. (Every time I stay a week, they give me a bottle, which I don't want). Thought for a moment "oh well, just drink the thing." Then I switched to "I'll bring it into the person I had the disagreement with." Then I said "no way, it's going down the drain" Happy to report it is gone, though I did immediate lunge for the Pringles in the minibar (thankfully, no wine in the minibar!)

Also, need to clarify, I spoke with people at the big dinner on Sat. It was on Sunday that I spoke maybe ten sentences all day. Thanks to all for understanding the loneliness of life in a hotel room.

To MS regarding your choice. I have been there, done that. The issue is to pick yourself up, and start again, ideally today. I have found that each month I am racking up more AF days that drinking days. Am working to reach 30 consecutive days, by taking it ODAT. Have a plan for the difficult hours.

Thanks to all, and congrats on your progress.

[clean for life]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

I would like to join in; today is day one for me.:new: