I don't know what is going on, the way I felt yesterday and the dream I had last night at first made me all the more determined to keep on. Now I feel like if I am going to fail, I'd rather just get it over with. Why now??? I am not going to drink. I am just so sad to be feeling like this.
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No fooling -- April 2013 AF
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No fooling -- April 2013 AF
I don't know what is going on, the way I felt yesterday and the dream I had last night at first made me all the more determined to keep on. Now I feel like if I am going to fail, I'd rather just get it over with. Why now??? I am not going to drink. I am just so sad to be feeling like this.
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No fooling -- April 2013 AF
NoSugar;1493705 wrote: Hi, Friends,
I'm repeating myself here but I don't know where I said this general thing earlier about giving up the dream of drinking again.
My realization that I was DONE was not a "light-bulb" moment. For a good while after joining MWO, I assumed I would figure out how to be a 'normal, social drinker'. But at some point I just realized that that was not going to happen-- that I was a confirmed unsuccessful moderator -- and that that part of my life is over. And the best part is that I am happy about it! That is not to say that things are always easy (e.g. today stunk!) but I am not conflicted or sad about my situation. For the first time in a long time, I HAVE NO REGRETS!
I am convinced that the processes of reading the stories of people on MWO and posting my reactions to those stories, asking questions about what I had read, and being offered truthful responses allowed this transition to happen and as a wonderful bonus, I got to know some wonderful people who I will always value so much. Posting about myself and my battle and reading the responses of friends here also taught me many things about me - good and bad. All of this got me to where I thankfully am now.
I encourage everyone to read, post, question, learn, and allow the power of a community help guide you to where you want to be.
:h, NSI just won't anymore
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No fooling -- April 2013 AF
No Sugar, Halfway, Free and Jenniech...we have made it AF through the month of April!!!!! With free's big 30 days on the horizon, I wish I could find a way to pick up everyone's spirits, battling those AL thoughts can be draining but not as draining as having to pick ourselves up after a fall, a fall that could turn into a dive down a cliff (I know that's what AL has done to me in the past and will do to me in the future!)
Perhaps a funny story that happened the other day;
My youngest (3) was being babysat by a couple , friends of ours. We had got them some pizza for dinner. John asked his wife, Kim, to bring him and my son a couple of extra pieces into the livingroom, my son made a big production and told John he had to sit in the kitchen at the table to eat, those were mom's strict rules, no food anywhere else in the house! He then took a piece of pizza, went into the living room, sat on the couch and began to eat the pizza! When Kim asked my son why he was eating in the living room after just telling them about the rules, he said, "You have to follow my mom's rules, she's not here right now,and this is my house and I'm the only one who can do what I'd like!"
great, just great and he's 3!!!!!
I am sending hugs to everyone and positive vibes because May is here, and we will get through it AF!!!! :l:lOn a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h
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No fooling -- April 2013 AF
halo;1499343 wrote:
My youngest (3) was being babysat by a couple , friends of ours. We had got them some pizza for dinner. John asked his wife, Kim, to bring him and my son a couple of extra pieces into the livingroom, my son made a big production and told John he had to sit in the kitchen at the table to eat, those were mom's strict rules, no food anywhere else in the house! He then took a piece of pizza, went into the living room, sat on the couch and began to eat the pizza! When Kim asked my son why he was eating in the living room after just telling them about the rules, he said, "You have to follow my mom's rules, she's not here right now,and this is my house and I'm the only one who can do what I'd like!"
great, just great and he's 3!!!!!
I am sending hugs to everyone and positive vibes because May is here, and we will get through it AF!!!! :l:l
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No fooling -- April 2013 AF
jenniech;1499310 wrote: HI NS!!! I am so sorry you are having these nasty feelings. I thought I would quote you on an earlier post. Stay strong friend!!! Don't give up and throw away all that you have accomplished. Plus, selfishly, I need you HERE!!!!
I won't give up -- I made the mistake of starting to think this was pretty easy. I wasn't at all ready for what wasn't even that big of a bump in the road and just over-reacted, i guess.
I sure am glad for everyone here who steps up to help straighten us out when we get turned around!
Love, NS :h
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