No fooling -- April 2013 AF

[free at last]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Hi NS, I am jetlagged big time and not motivated to work. Craving for sweets is getting out of hand. Am going to get some L-glutamine when I get back to the States but that is not for another 10 days.

Thanks, Prettytulip, for the encouragement. You sure have done well this past month. If I can just keep linking days, I know it will get better.

Spent time re-reading my posts. Came across the "experiment" NS had posted. Such a classic, you should post that in the tool box, if you haven't done so already.

Ok, I really must try to sleep, or a least meditate. Night all!

[halo]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

jenniech;1493105 wrote: between the hippy fiasco and scand who wants to drink after 14 weeks AF, I need a thread that doesn't mention either one.
Can I join?
....

Here here Jenniech, I agree, I have limited myself to this thread and the Newbie's Nest, positive supportive places, I most definitely need a serene environment to keep me on the AF path!!!:welcome:

[halo]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Thanks for the supportive words No Sugar, Halfway and Free, feeling better this pm, I am determined to get through April AF as well halfway. So glad you are around....The 311 gang lives on !!!

[halo]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

halfway content;1492972 wrote: Halo,

my great liver panel results, the money I have saved, the ten pounds that I have lost. .

hc

Okay halfway, how awesome is that!!! Way to go, being AF most definitely has it's benefits..

[thelaststraw]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

May I please join April - no fooling around?

-S-

[thelaststraw]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

oh, sorry...it's no fooling.

my bad.

sorry.
-S-

[Mein Sonnenschein]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Hello and good morning everyone!

Big thank you to Free and Pretty Tulip for the good vibes last night! I actually quelled the cravings last night with more food (turkey sausage and milk) and some German language homework (that intensity will quiet anything in your brian… LOL). I'm a bit worried about gaining weight so I've been really trying to focus on healthy snacks even so I crave the junk food. But I'm sure I'm trading AL calories for food calories so that can't be bad.

Smoothies help. I've been big into juicing this past year (which is AWESOME and makes you feel great in the inside) but smoothies are a bit thicker and make you feel like you are eating rater than drinking. This seems to work for cravings as well. So instead of an AL drink maybe try a smoothie! My current recipe: plan Greek yogurt, honey, cinnamon, pulverized almonds and flax seed, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and ice. The good think about smoothies is that you can change up the fruit and veggie ingredients to make a good, healthy drink.

But... I still crave the wine. Lately my thoughts have been drifting to "what do I do after April 30th". My husband and I decided to make a rule that we do not drink AL in the house, only out at dinner or at a party, etc. But this seems like it could be a slippery slope for me. 30 days is coming up fast and I'm starting to feel some anxiety. Damn anxiety... the more I'm sober the more it creeps in. I'm just not sure what to do next.

Free... like you, I will be traveling abroad for work in two weeks. I will be working in my office in Florida from April 29 - May 5. Last time I did very well while traveling but I did NOT remain AF. :-( Luckily I had no drunken/passed out/blacked out episodes but I still had a few drinks with work colleagues. I've just got to focus on the goal.

Love and strength to you all today! I'm so proud of what we are doing. We just have to remember to love ourselves and take it one day at a time!

[prettytulip]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

thelaststraw;1493245 wrote: May I please join April - no fooling around?

-S-

:welcome:

Happy to have you here

[prettytulip]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

NoSugar;1493172 wrote: Hi, PrettyTulip

Did you ever get ahold of some L-glutamine? It doesn't work for everyone but for many is a great tool for getting off alcohol and/or sugar. If there are health food stores where you are, that might be your best bet.

Take care, NS

Still haven't managed to find any L-glut yet I never though of trying a health shop...fingers crossed I'll get some there

[jenniech]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Mein Sonnenschein;1493293 wrote: Hello and good morning everyone!

But... I still crave the wine. Lately my thoughts have been drifting to "what do I do after April 30th". My husband and I decided to make a rule that we do not drink AL in the house, only out at dinner or at a party, etc. But this seems like it could be a slippery slope for me. 30 days is coming up fast and I'm starting to feel some anxiety. Damn anxiety... the more I'm sober the more it creeps in. I'm just not sure what to do next.

!

Mein: This is what AA people call PROJECTING. A BIG NO NO for AA people! Right. Much easier said than done.
April 30 is just another day. Don't make a big deal out of it. Instead, think about how you feel NOW vs. how you feel hungover or in a black out, stumbling around making a fool of yourself (here I am making an assumption based on how I am drunk....sorry if you don't ever make a fool of yourself

I can totally relate to feelings of anxiety. I have self medicated my anxiety with alcohol all my life and it is damn hard learning how to deal with it sober. But it is just a feeling, not a fact so I am working on manipulating that anxiety into something productive.

When did you and your husband make this new rule about not drinking in the house? I think it is fantastic that he has agreed to do this for you. But wait, your language implies that you are giving yourself permission to drink if you are not at home
I think you want your rule to be: "I decided to make a rule that I will not drink alcohol. PERIOD."
Here I am making another assumption that that is what you want. Perhaps your goal is to moderate....I am doing lots of hedging today because I don't want you to take what I am saying the wrong way....:l
anyway, I hope your trip to sunny FLA is a good one!

[halo]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Welcome Last Straw nice to have you on board :welcome:

[Mein Sonnenschein]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

jenniech;1493335 wrote:
When did you and your husband make this new rule about not drinking in the house? I think it is fantastic that he has agreed to do this for you. But wait, your language implies that you are giving yourself permission to drink if you are not at home
I think you want your rule to be: "I decided to make a rule that I will not drink alcohol. PERIOD."

No worries Jenniech, I have make a fool out of myself PLENTY of times! So much so that I don't ever want to be drunk again. That was one of my motivations for getting help; I know that i am a good person but I don't think anyone wants to be around me because of the lush factor.

My husband has been struggling with my drinking for a while and he's wanted AL out of the house for a while. Only since I decided to go AF for April did we discuss this rule. And you are right... in a way, I'm "giving myself permission" with this rule which is why I need to work on this. I'm really struggling with what to do "after" and I honestly don't know what my goal is other than to be happy and healthy. I like your perspective of thinking of it as "any other day"... I will think on that.

Thank you for the support. As my therapist says... I need to "stop thinking so much". LOL.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

That being said in my previous post... could my inability to make a decision regarding AL be a craving??? Some days I'm determined to be AL forever and now that I'm 17 day sober, I'm suddenly wavering from my original goal. Could there be such a think as a craving so subtle that we disguise it as thinking we are "OK enough to moderate"? Just a thought. I want to be proud of my 17 days but I'm just anxious about what to do. I have not been sober this long in soooo many years. I think there are a lot of emotions coming up. So happy to have you all to talk to!

[Snapdragon]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Hello Mein - how are you? We are both level pegging at 17 days and I am completely with you aoout where do you go from here scenario. At first I thought I would attempt 30 days. Now I am beginning to see that if I take even one drink after that time, I will very quickly be back to square one again.

I'm not thinking further ahead than today at the moment (I simply don't want to dwell on the canal boat holiday we have planned for the middle of May with friends - which is always a really boozy holiday - or the big family wedding at the beginning of July). Brydie posted this in the Newbies Nest and it really helps to put things into perspective:

As I mentioned to a response to Allan yesterday in his thread....he'd reached his 30 day goal and then felt like a bride coming back from her honeymoon...NOW WHAT? I was explaining to him that breaking free of alcohol is, in effect, ending a relationship. And I mean a long-standing, hard-core, abusive, solid relationship. In essence you are going thru the 5 stages of grieving. Anger (what brought you here..."I'm SICK of this crazy life!"), Denial (Maybe I'm not all that bad! What was I thinking? Other people drink as much or MORE than I do' I think this is where the biggest Pity Party is thrown...it comes after the first 2 weeks and before day 30), BARGAINING ( why don't I try to moderate? Other people are able to do it...if I could just have one precious glass of _____ I'd be ok, THEN I'll get right back on track..), Depression (Is THIS all there is? Where are the balloons? Is this as good as it's ever going to get? ' Well shit...'.) and finally, acceptance. Let me tell you, this is where it's at. You finally are able to accept that, NO, you CANNOT drink ....AT ALL. Not one, not ever.....and you are ok with this. This is the stage where you can see AL for what it really is....a DRUG. Some people abuse drugs and some people don't. We do. Each stage in grieving is very important. Once you can see what is going on and that you aren't going crazy, it helps...at least it did for me. What you are going thru is the natural stages of loss. If you stay the course, I promise it will get better....I can also make a promise the other way, too....if we stay on the path we were on....well, you get the picture. I can assure you there will be a day where you don't even think about AL! As hard as it is now....it seems hard to believe. As hardcore as I was, I can now come to the end of an evening and think...I'll be dam, I didn't even think about it. THAT is amazing! You will get there...it just takes some time. Please hang in with us...you can do it! If I can do it, you can too!!! Byrdie

[Mein Sonnenschein]

No fooling -- April 2013 AF

Snapdragon, thank you for that. This is so true! It is like the stages of grief. Especially when it's been in your life for so long. I've heard others personify AL as a friend or relationship and now I'm realizing how true that is. It's also amazing how much you realize about yourself once the fog of AL begins to lift and maybe I'm not liking what I'm realizing about myself and that's why I'm too focused on the "day after 30". Hopefully this is just a momentary bout with anxiety and things will be better tomorrow. I'm glad you can relate to this as well so I'm not alone! What a confusing and frustrating time day 17 is.

I wish you the best for today and everyday. Thank you again for the post!