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No fooling -- April 2013 AF

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    #286
    No fooling -- April 2013 AF

    Whew, I made it past day 42 after gluing my butt to my bed. A purring cat on top of me added to my quest to make it past 42.

    -S-

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      #287
      No fooling -- April 2013 AF

      Thanks for the welcome. I hope to be a regular contributor to the struggle and journal.

      Peace
      Mags Mom



      May 2, Day 2

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        #288
        No fooling -- April 2013 AF

        Welcome Magmom, nice to have you aboard, get comfortable and when you are ready, we are here to listen!

        Last Straw, awesome 40 days!!! So proud, :goodjob:

        Hearing your success makes me all the more determined to remain AF!
        Siren, great work on having a plan (with the antabuse), remember Byrdie's words, always have a plan!
        We are almost April AF Free, and moving on soon to May....:l
        On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

        Comment

          #289
          No fooling -- April 2013 AF

          Sorry I didn't post this earlier but I found out today that I got my first choice of position in the re-organization!! I am soooo excited! I truly did not think that I would get it. I guess the AF days I had from mid-Feb through end of March allowed me to complete the application process and prepare for the interview. God knows there weren't nearly enough of them, though.
          Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

          Comment

            #290
            No fooling -- April 2013 AF

            Siren136;1496611 wrote: Sorry I didn't post this earlier but I found out today that I got my first choice of position in the re-organization!! I am soooo excited! I truly did not think that I would get it. I guess the AF days I had from mid-Feb through end of March allowed me to complete the application process and prepare for the interview. God knows there weren't nearly enough of them, though.
            :thumbs::yay::greatjob2:
            I just won't anymore

            Comment

              #291
              No fooling -- April 2013 AF

              Greetings from an airport lounge -- one flight down, another to go and I am home!

              Siren, congrats on the job placement within the re-org. I know how difficult waiting for those decisions can be. And, on the husband situation -- sounds like an opportunity to get to know each other again, in a new light. Also, glad the antabuse subscription came through.

              I had a really tough day 20, but remained strong. I was on my way to the airport, and all I could think about was a "reward" for finishing this 10 day stint on the road. Starting thinking "Well, there is a five hour time difference between work and home. So, if I only drink during those five hours, and don't drink after that, well, I could say I didn't drink on day 20 nor did I drink on day 21!" How twisted is that? I was, however, amused that my AL brain was trying any logic it could musr for me to feed the beast. Said no four times on the plane and am now ensconced in another club. Still have to say no to the complimentary champagne that is all over this lounge, but I am feeling strong. Happy to report 20 consecutive AF days/nights and now on the start of day 21.

              Congrats to everyone on their progress.
              Free at Last
              "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

              Highly recommend this video
              http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

              July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

              Comment

                #292
                No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                Free, Congrats on staying strong! I used to travel a lot and I couldn't wait to get into the lounge and onto the plane so I could partake of the free booze! I think the only way I could say no to it all even now is the Antabuse. I certainly don't want to be violently ill at 30,000 feet! My new job may see me start traveling again - Thanks God I have the tool I need to say no!

                Your AL brain is right - you do deserve a reward, but a healthy one you will remember! Treat yourself to a spa day or a pedicure or something.

                We have to remember to treat ourselves well. Kuya had a great post a while back - something about "if I treated a child the way I treat myself I'd be arrested for abuse". Basically we starve ourselves - physically and emotionally, we tell ourselves how terrible we are and how we do nothing right. Would you want to be friends with someone who treated you like that? I wouldn't! Always remember to take time to treat yourself well. I'm taking today off, working out, having breakfast with my dad, and then straightening up the house (which I enjoy doing - restoring order).
                Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

                Comment

                  #293
                  No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                  great post siren!! The day you have planned for yourself sounds heavenly to me!! Way to go on pampering yourself and treating yourself to a wonderful day!!
                  I just won't anymore

                  Comment

                    #294
                    No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                    What a great reminder of how disordered our thinking has become when we berate and abuse ourselves! I would never let anyone treat my family like that, so why, oh why, do I do it to myself?

                    Peace
                    Mags Mom



                    May 2, Day 2

                    Comment

                      #295
                      No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                      Siren136;1496611 wrote: Sorry I didn't post this earlier but I found out today that I got my first choice of position in the re-organization!! I am soooo excited! I truly did not think that I would get it. I guess the AF days I had from mid-Feb through end of March allowed me to complete the application process and prepare for the interview. God knows there weren't nearly enough of them, though.
                      Congratulations, Siren!! That is such wonderful news and you certainly deserve some of that :h !

                      You've been so encouraging of people the last several weeks. How did you have so much to give when you're struggling with your own problems? ? It is easy to be nice and supportive when you're feeling good -- what you've been offering must come from deep in your heart.

                      I hope your new approach to sobriety works wonders! It sure seems to have done so for several others here.

                      Thanks for your last two additions to the Real Recipe Thread. Everything of yours that I have made has been delicious!!

                      Love, NS :h

                      Comment

                        #296
                        No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                        NoSugar;1497047 wrote: Congratulations, Siren!! That is such wonderful news and you certainly deserve some of that :h !

                        You've been so encouraging of people the last several weeks. How did you have so much to give when you're struggling with your own problems? ? It is easy to be nice and supportive when you're feeling good -- what you've been offering must come from deep in your heart.

                        I hope your new approach to sobriety works wonders! It sure seems to have done so for several others here.

                        Thanks for your last two additions to the Real Recipe Thread. Everything of yours that I have made has been delicious!!

                        Love, NS :h
                        NS, I'm really glad you like the recipes! I love to cook and wish I could do it more.

                        Honestly, I have not posted as much as I could have. I am sticking to newbies and easier issues and just bypassing some harder issues because it just seems to overwhelm me. But anything I do post absolutely comes from the heart!

                        I've always been one who hates to have too many choices, so being on Antabuse removes the choice to drink. I have not had any struggles because I can't drink without becoming violently ill.
                        Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

                        Comment

                          #297
                          No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                          Hi all, quick check in with everyone to let you know I am on day 22 AF. Arrived yesterday, houseguests arrived with wine, which I offered and did not drink -- a big first for me! Will be in limited email as we have company through Sunday. Gearing up to finish the month AF!
                          Warmest, Free
                          Free at Last
                          "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                          Highly recommend this video
                          http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                          July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                          Comment

                            #298
                            No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                            Finish up April AF Free and then let's try to move on to the month of May, I find the thread page for April extremely helpful...
                            Have managed to remain AF even after some stressful days, snap dragon's breathing technique is helping.I found out I may be out of work due to overstaffing/seniority issues, finding it difficult but realize AL is not the answer, scared though to know that when dealing with stress, my immediate thought is, I desperately want a drink...right now. I hope this will not always be the case. Sorry, don't want to be a downer, but sometimes life is hard, not impossible! but hard.......:l
                            On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

                            Comment

                              #299
                              No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                              halo;1497454 wrote: scared though to know that when dealing with stress, my immediate thought is, I desperately want a drink...right now. I hope this will not always be the case. Sorry, don't want to be a downer, but sometimes life is hard, not impossible! but hard.......:l
                              Hi, Halo

                              Do you think you would enjoy that drink even if you did choose to take it? You can't "not know" all of the things you have learned about yourself over the last month or so. I think the guilt I would feel as I started to drink it might be enough to stop me - feeling the guilt right then, instead of the next morning.

                              I'm sorry about your uncertain job situation - that is a huge stress! Glad you know that AL would only make it worse.

                              Stay, tough, Halo - you are doing such a great job for yourself and encouraging so many others along the way.

                              :h NS

                              Comment

                                #300
                                No fooling -- April 2013 AF

                                NoSugar;1497501 wrote: Hi, Halo

                                Do you think you would enjoy that drink even if you did choose to take it? You can't "not know" all of the things you have learned about yourself over the last month or so. I think the guilt I would feel as I started to drink it might be enough to stop me - feeling the guilt right then, instead of the next morning.

                                Glad you know that AL would only make it worse.

                                :h NS
                                Thanks for the pointers NS, and you are right I have learned alot about myself, and that is why I have choosen not to drink, even when times are hard..
                                I guess I just don't want my first thought (when feeling stressed) to be I desperately want a drink, I want those thoughts to go AWAY , over time I hope they will not even be a factor.
                                The MWO has been so great, so supportive, and this time I sooooo desperately want to succeed, I just think about Byrdie's comment about one slip becoming a slide, I never want to go on that ride ever again and I know that's what would happen if I falter with AL, a downward slide to pain and anguish. Remain strong is good advice No Sugar! I'm going to reread your success post again for inspiration and then I'm going to bed..Thanks for the response NS, it made me feel alot better :l
                                On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

                                Comment

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