Starting out? You might want to read this

[NoSugar]

Starting out? You might want to read this

kuya;1487588 wrote: It is a strange thing NS, even though the forum is anonymous my honesty here is sacrosanct....somehow lying here would be like lying to myself.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Hi, Kuya. To me, an anonymous forum has no point if lies are told - I think it works because it allows us to finally tell the truth to others, and thereby to ourselves, and then face whatever those truths reveal. I told myself and others many lies before I came here. Joining MWO and telling all of you the truth was the means I finally found to be brutally honest with myself. It was only by reading your stories, no longer feeling like "the only one", and asking for help that I finally found the courage to do that.

:h NS

[Nelz]

Starting out? You might want to read this

kuya;1487588 wrote: It is a strange thing NS, even though the forum is anonymous my honesty here is sacrosanct....somehow lying here would be like lying to myself.

Does anyone else feel this way?

A resounding YES! I seem to have this same dream over and over. Its about me drinking, actually had one last night. The whole time I am drinking in the dream, I am thinking to myself...........How am I going to tell everyone on MWO?

I even got a "dream buzz on" last night..................:H


EDIT: Almost forgot the real reason I was gonna post. GREAT post BHOG

[gyco]

Starting out? You might want to read this

great post,you are a writer and a Sober one,keep on WRITING

[gyco]

Starting out? You might want to read this

interestin

kuya;1487588 wrote: It is a strange thing NS, even though the forum is anonymous my honesty here is sacrosanct....somehow lying here would be like lying to myself.

Does anyone else feel this way?

i feel the same if someone is going to lie it is only to themselves :upset:

[BHOG]

Starting out? You might want to read this

Thank you all for the nice comments; I came on this site what? 8-9 years ago with a real drinking problem. After 1-1.5 years of trying to moderate, I figured out that was not going to work for me. So I quit entirely.
FF to march 1 this year. For some reason, the idea of drinking started to sound real good to me. So I figured, get back on MWO and get some strength from there, it worked before.

And it has worked this time, and I am still hanging out here posting with old friends and new ones.
Yes, posting often was a major factor in my going sober. In the first few weeks of soberity, I was on here almost 24/7-wife said it was like I had a girlfriend (but she never said don't get sober!)
Just thought I'd add some background for all of you.

[Oneredshoe]

Starting out? You might want to read this

BHOG.....I love your post! It is very powerful!

[spiderwoman]

Starting out? You might want to read this

A very honest post BHOG and one most of us can relate relate to. Admitting I have a problem controling my drinking is probably the hardest thing I've done in my life. I don't know if I will ever have the courage to be totally honest about why I don't drink to my work colleagues,some may guess but nobody has asked directly. Friends and acquaintances have been told it was "becoming" a bit of a problembut I know it was would continue to be a huge problem on every level and I truly believe: that until you take a long hard look at yourself and reach the decision to be 100% honest with yourself nobody else matters in this particular battle you are going to faiil. Moderation is as natural to some people as being the outdoor type while others prefer their creature comforts, just a different type of person. Not a defect but a diffference that needs an appropriate lifestyle.

Once you have accepted this and made adjustments to your lifestyle a lot of issues are resolved and you get back (or in my case begin) to living.

[NoSugar]

Starting out? You might want to read this

spiderwoman;1488216 wrote: Moderation is as natural to some people as being the outdoor type while others prefer their creature comforts, just a different type of person. Not a defect but a diffference that needs an appropriate lifestyle.

Once you have accepted this and made adjustments to your lifestyle a lot of issues are resolved and you get back (or in my case begin) to living.

What a great way to look at this, Spiderwoman! It is so easy to get stuck feeling defective --- but there is nothing wrong with being different!

Thanks for a great idea for beginning the day

Love, NS

[BHOG]

Starting out? You might want to read this

Good points. Spidey!
Move to the head of the class!

[day-zero]

Starting out? You might want to read this

Hi all - been a lurker here for a while. registered when i read the firt post and am now on day 4 [almost over and over the BAD part of the day] . have been trying to moderate for years with some success but always over the deep end eventualy.
glad to be here

[NoSugar]

Starting out? You might want to read this

day-zero;1488813 wrote: Hi all - been a lurker here for a while. registered when i read the firt post and am now on day 4 [almost over and over the BAD part of the day] . have been trying to moderate for years with some success but always over the deep end eventualy.
glad to be here

Welcome Day Zero!

Have you lurked in the Newbies Nest? That is a great place to start out. If you haven't been there yet, the link is in my signature.

Congratulations on making it to day 4! You're already off and running.

Hope to see you in the Nest, NoSugar

[BHOG]

Starting out? You might want to read this

Day Zero!
Congrats are in order for 4 days. It's a great achievement. For me, day three was always the killer, it took me a lng time to get past 3rd day blues. But now I know them for what they are, simply a dirge my mind created as it's favorite addiction started to drain away.

[BHOG]

Starting out? You might want to read this

:bump:

[BHOG]

Starting out? You might want to read this

:bump:

[Mayzay]

Starting out? You might want to read this

BHOG;1487452 wrote: I wrote this in response to a particular individual. Many of the others who read it afterwords suggested I post it here. So, here you are. Please read, comment if you would like. PM me if you want to talk a little more privately.
My best to all of you, and as I am fond of saying,
STAY STRONG


When I decided to get sobered up, one of the major factors in my success was this site. It made me accountable to other people. While my wife supported my decision to quit, she was not about to "get between you and your habits." We had been down that road too many times, and I would become resentful of her telling me "you said you would quit." Then we would get into an arguement...I'm sure you know that road.

For me, having an agreement with myself to report my failures as well as my success to a group seemed to be a good tool.

When I really got serious about working through my alcoholism, I was on this site a great deal of the time. Posting as often as every hour, every 30 minutes, getting strength from others here who had been down my road. I had some great mentors, who would provide incredible postive comments when I did well, as well as constructive criticism when needed.

I also wrote down a plan. I did not want to go from 2 bottles of wine a night to zero in one day. So I wrote it down, and within two weeks could go a whole day without drinking. Then up to two, etc.

Did it go perfect? HELL NO! I slipped, I stumbled, I got drunk; I got back up, dusted myself off, and went back to work. It took about 1 to 1.5 years to get it right. I felt like a total failure when I fell, but when I succeeded in being successful for even a day, I felt powerful!

Part of the reason it took so long, in retrospect, is I thought I could moderate my consumption. And I could, to a point. But it seemed to me, and to the wife, that I could last about two weeks, then off the deep end. Then angry words would be said, tempers would be lost, and damage done. I finally came to the conclusion that I could not moderate at all, I needed to quit, and never go back.

Why did I drink? For all the regular reasons: rough childhood, bad day at work, stress over money, over inlaws, parents, and children. Because it was a sunny day and we were enjoying the deck in the evening. Perhaps because the sun came up, I would have a bloody mary. Perhaps because it was expected in my profession. Reality, it did not matter why I drank, I just did.

Perhaps because I was a fool.

I think I told you before, I write. I work on political points of view, on very personal poetry, and current events. I was of the opinion that my writing was better when I drank, and at that time I did not know any better, because I was always drinking. As I dried out, my writing became very rough, very uneven. But, when I finally acheived sobriety, my writing became much better, I achieved some of my personal goals, and am working on others.

Long story short, it is your life we are talking about here. You need to make the decision, will I let alcohol control the balance of my life, or will I control it? When you make that decision, make it firmly, write it down. Put it where you can see it every day. Create a plan, explain to your self exactly how you will succeed, what steps you need to take to succeed. Then, work the plan, follow it, keep yourself on track.
Don't be afraid to use the resources here. On this site, as I think you probably know, are people in various stages of recovery, or healing. Some of those people will never make the commitment to sober up, or even to moderate. Some are here just for the attention they crave. Others, to "pay it forward" and be the mentor and support for someone else, just as others worked to help them. BUT, by and large, people here are trying to get a grip, just like you. Talk with them, learn from all of us. You can do this.

I hope I have not bored you with this lengthy wandering dissertation. If I can help in any way, I am here for you.

You have it in a nutshell...even down to y questionning whethet I really am an alchy...I drink or want to drink..wine..every night and I am so scared....:upset: