Hello I really need help. I'm new here

[w_mason1984]

Hi every one,

My name is Will, I have cocaine and alcohol dependency problems. I also suffer from depression which i take Citalopram 40mg to treat. I feel low a lot and i use drink to hide from myself, when i drink i want to use cocaine. After these binges i feel low and take more medication to bring myself up again. I'm fed up of the guilt and the pain im causing my family, I'm sick of who i am. I dont keep drink in the house because my mum wont let me, but when i go out and drink i cant stop, every time.

On Sunday was an example of one of these nights, in which i ended up getting arrested for affray (using unlawful violence) and spent 15 hours in a cell and now face a court case at magistrates. 2 Years ago i wud never have done this and to make it worse i dont remember what i did and why i did it.

When i got out of the police station i looked at my positive drug test and my injuries and felt the guilt and despair and the massive depression wave over me. Its all too much for me. I cant carry on like this. I'm going to the doctors this afternoon to seek help. I was just wondering if anyone else can offer me some advice?

I'm 22 years old and at the minute i feel like i cant have a drink because i know where it will lead.

Please help.

Will

[tea]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi there, welcome, welcome, welcome. All I can say to you is keep looking in, read the senior members posts and have the knowledge that you are not alone. This is a great site, hope you stay. There will lots of other posts following this one in reply to you offering constructive advice or support. Sorry there is no 'magic cure' for any of us, we all have a mountain to climb, so come along, we all climb together.

Lorna

[betty boop]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Will & :welcome:

It's really good that you've realised that you have a problem, that is the first step.

The fact that you know that drink gets you into bother is also good, It took me years to realise that!! I'm also on Citalopram, but found that once I cut out the booze the anxiety stopped, and i't only when I drink too much that I get anxious again.

When I first came here last november I was drinking 3 bottles of wine every day! Gradually reduced it and did AF days in January, now only drink 2 or 3 times a week, and then only 2 or 3 glasses and have only been drunk once this year!!

So this place does work!!!!!

Love & Hugs

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Thank you Betty and Lorna for your reply's! It's nice knowing that someone cares enough about others to take the time to Reply to me. WoW! 3 bottles a day thats heavy and congrats on ur success battling the booze. I'm confused tho because i dont drink everyday because i dont keep drink in the house and i live in the middle of nowhere, my mum wont allow drink in the house. I just cant stop once i've started. And i cant go more then a couple of days living with my sober 'self'. Is anyone else like this?
Maybe im confusing myself. I am confused i suppose. I'm off to the docs now, Lorna you are right it is a mountain to climb, lets climb together. Thanks so much i feel a little better already!

[buckledown]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

So glad you found us.....i totally understand where you are coming from as i have a very addictive personality and have battled many demons...they all increase the depession and anxiety for me...it is a very viscous cycle...i found this board only 5 days ago and i have already read the book and started on some of the supplements and the topa...if you have not read the book that all probably sounds very foreign to you...so i guess the best place to start in my opinion is to download the book...it sounded like a miracle to me when i read it but it really seems to be working...not that it is a magic pill...i really really want it this time...i was exactly where you are at your age...i only wish this place had existed then....you can get better ...you can free yourself from the chains...but you have to see youslf free and believe you can do it...this place can help you dump the feelings that may drive you to drink/drug...the stress always leads me back to the bottle...my current vice that i am working on is 3 to 4 bottles of wine a day for so many years i cant count.....i now can see the end of the road for the cell i have been in...i dont look at the whole journey, just one step in the journey which is right now....and right now i am good and will stay goood cause i believe i will and am going to do the thing i know will help me to stay good....please know that eveyone here understands and is rooting for you..i am proud of you for even posting your story...i know that is hard....keep up the good work and look all over this board ...there is lots of great info here....:welcome: :goodjob: buck

[Breez]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Will & Welcome~

I just want to pass this along: You really shouldn't use your e-mail as your user name.

You may alter any of the fields except your username. Once you have registered your username, it becomes yours permanently. In extreme circumstances (for example if you accidentally register under your real name), you may request that the administrator change your username. Contact our system administrator via Private Message to request a change.

[rudemama]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Will, Welcome here. I have been here for 7 days. It is a warm retreat and support. I also don't drink everyday, but can't seem to stop once i get started. Read the posts keep coming. MWO has helped me. Rudemama

[Bella]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hello Will, i hope the doc can be of some help to you. Its a vicious cycle, feel depressed-drink,feel better, then feel crap again so drink again you need to equipt yourself with all the tools to break the cycle. Everyone here is very supportive and will help you. You are not on your own, you can log on here day or night and there will be someone you can talk to. Keep going, you can do this. Love Bella xx

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your kind messages of suport, I have booked my first meeting with a councellor for alcoholism and we are going to look into talkin to someone about my inner demons as well, I feel better having made a positive step to get myself back on track.

Well done Buckledown you seem to really have a grip on ur vices and seem in control. Also Seabreaze i'm having problems trying to find where i send a private message to the administrator to change my username. Can Anyone help.

Your Support is really appreciated from every single one of you!

Will x

[nattie]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi
Welcome Will - this place is a great support & the people here are so friendly and the advice invaluable. I am still relatively new but feel I have turned a corner with the help from here - good luck with your counsellor

xx

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Thanks Bella for talking to me the doctors was useful. I feel a lot better having made steps to try and sort myself out, hope ur ok urself and doing better then me at the minute.

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Thanks Nattie, I hope you stick with it. Fingers crossed with the counsellor. I hate talking to someone i dont know and have actually refused help several times, but now i know its time to get things sorted. Isn't it amazing how you can ignore a problem untill something serious happens! Anyone agree? xx

[Elizabeth]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Will, at the top right hand corner there is a little sign that will say welcome ................." Click on 'Private Messages' written in blue in the same box below. The new page that comes up will allow you to send private messages. To send a message look at the menu on the left hand side of your page.

Anyway. Welcome to MWO. Its quite a life saver. The more you read here the bigger chance you have of beating your demons. Seeking advice or just plain comfort at MWO, you'll get it. Glad to hear you have arranged to see a councellor, lets us all know how it goes.:goodjob: :welcome:

[nattie]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

I agree Will - the counselling can be hard, trying to open up to some one when for so long we have kept all our problems to ourselves. I have done this & it can really help in the long run, along with all the suggestions on this site hopefully it can be a way forward for you.
Keep posting & let us know how you get on.

I admire you taking such steps at your age - I battled for a long time thinking I was too young to have an addiction to alcohol and what a waste of those years.

xx

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Thanks very much Elizabeth i have got in contact with RJ now so lets hope that gets sorted out!

Nattie: Do you mind if i ask what kind of things you talk about in councelling because i'm a bit nervous about it! Looking back now how old do you think you were when you had a problem?

P.S My friend rang me to go to the pub, I had 3 orange juices and a coke, it was so boring but it felt ok, I'm fairly certain at the minute i cant drink full stop but i just feel so negatively about being able to accomplish a 'tea total' life style when as im sure you guys can understand, my entire social life revolves around pubs and bars! Has any one fought this battle and won?

Cheers again guys! x