Hello I really need help. I'm new here

[nattie]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Of course not Will...............I have done 2 lots of counselling, the first was to get to the bottom of a bad relationship which unfortunately ended with an abortion. This was quite intensive (3 times a week ) but left no stone unturned. The second time was to cope with the loss of my brother who died when he ws 27. He had been a heroin addict for many years & felt powerless in anything I tried to do to help but then couldn't come to terms with losing him. Coucellors will ask a variety of things to try & get to the bottom of why you feel as you do.....some better at their profession than others. I have found the best way is to be completely truthful - what you say stays in the room with them as they are bound by a proffesional code of conduct. In my experience they are generally sympathetic, not easily shocked & genuinly wanting to help.
I think I realised I had a problem at the age of 28..............having had a few years previous of trying to convince myslef I was only doing what other people do. It has taken me another 6 years to finally address it again as I said previously, I just felt too young to be labelled an alcoholic.

xx

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Jees it really seems like you've had a lot to deal with in your life, things i couldnt dream of coping with. And this is the thing, i havent had any really bad things like this happen to me. I've just been down for the last few years and i dont know why, I know i drink so i dont have these bad thoughts running through my mind, a councellor will probably find the route of why i feel the way i do!!!

So this is the first day.... And it feels ok.

[Beaches]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Welcome Will,
You have taken a great first step by coming here. Also by realizing that you can't stop at one drink. I would suggest reading the book offered here. The supplements work great, for me at least and keep reading the threads. You will find a lot of support here so keep posting. You can win this battle if you set your mind to it.

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi beaches,

I have just tried to download the book as a pdf but it doesnt seem to be working at the minute! I will keep trying though!

What are the supplements? Is it like a monthly installment of information? Do i subscribe to it etc... Your right theres loads of support really landed on my feet here i think. I got made redundant a couple of months ago which didnt help matters, so i have a lot of time on my hands, which in turn gives me a lot of time to depress myself and a lot of time to think about a drink or a line.

So to be able to write down my thoughts and questions i wouldnt ask people like mum is really great!!!

[Guest]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Will!! I am new here too! And this is truly a wonderful place, I am sooooo happy I found it. I've only been here for 2 weeks but I can already notice the difference. Normally, I would be pretty much close to drunk, or drunk everynight ( about a bottle of red every day). Now, I'm learning how to moderate..it's hard at times not wanting that extra 3rd or 4th glass, or screw it, the whole bottle. It really is. I just ordered the supplements myself, so I can't wait for them to get here. I wish you all the best and definetely keep coming here! The people here are amazing and they really do give you the drive you need to get where you want...

[Popeye]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hello Will,
I'm glad you're here.
Lots of good, sensible help and advice.
Best wishes.

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Well done on cutting down mate, I'm definately going to stay here and check all the things the site has to offer, It's nice to feel like there is someone you can talk to when you want or just get something of my mind be it 12 at day or 12 at night!!!

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Thanks Popeye!

[changing]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Will. Welcome on board. :welcome: This is a good place to be. Lots of support. Take care. changing

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Well hi every one , I've just been out with a friend to ..... yes u guessed it, the pub. 3 orange juices later the pub doesnt seem such a gr8 place to be. My mates on his 4th pint and i'm not screaming for a pint..... but i want one. How can the pub be fun again? Any ideas... it's unrealistic to say NO I'm never going to the pub again... but the temptation the boredom the lack of that oh so lovely self confidence and loss of inhabition that makes you the life and soul round the table does'nt seem so easy to grasp hold of when ur aware that u cud make urself look an idiot or are just uptight anyway. AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH Any way just thought I'd write it down.

Hope Every Ones ok x

[morrison]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hello Will. :welcome: First off, congratulations. You are wise beyond your years. When I was 21, I was already an alcoholic, and drug addict. I had no intentions of quitting. You are way ahead of the game. I wish I could go back 14 years and make the best of that time. You HAVE that chance, just keep that in mind. It takes balls to see a counselor and spill your heart out. It's especially tough for a guy I think. Society puts a stigma on men for that sort of thing. But really, I wish so bad I would have reached out long ago. I'm glad I finally found this place.

Now, on to the social problem you speak of. I had the same issue. My whole life revolved around getting shit-faced. I mean EVERYTHING. Go out to dinner, get drunk. Cook at home, get drunk. Go to a football game, gotta be drunk. Any social gathering, gotta be drunk. You'll find in time that you really don't need to be drunk/high to have a good time. Now, I'm on day 45 or so AF(loosing count at this point), and I'm fine doing things without drinking. I'm going fishing on Sunday, and that will be tough, as I always had some beers while doing that. I know I'll be good though. I'll have fun anyway. I don't go to the bar at all anymore. Well, I've gone, but just got water and some food. You'll get used to it in no time. I've also started to do things I enjoy that don't go well with alcohol. I workout a lot. Lift weights, play basketball, and things like that. Also reading a lot more now that my brain isn't scrambled. Once you get your endorphins up, you'll get a natural high.

Anyway Will, you're doing the right thing. And it's good you are discovering that at such a young age. You can have a great life. Please stop in when you have struggles, and we can help you through them.

Sorry for the long post. Its just that I see myself in you, as I felt the same way in the past. Knowing I had to stop, but so afraid to take the steps. :goodjob: You've done the hardest part, in time you'll reap the rewards of sobriety. Take Care.

[Arial]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi Will, and another :welcome: from me too!

So glad you're here and ready to climb that mountain - we're right here beside you. I have a daughter who's just turned 18 and the thing i wish for her more than anything is not to follow the path I went down. I now look back at things in my life and think 'what if', 'if only', if I had it to do again'... You can't look back at your life with regret, but it's sure difficult some times - and you don't get a second chance.

Mark Twain said; "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." The alcohol and drugs have been preventing you from taking all the opportunities you have - The future is yours for the choosing, and you are so far ahead of the game by realising your problem now - you have the chance to set the sails, to fly, to take on life - and not look back in years to come at the 'what ifs' and 'if I could do it differently'...

On to the more practical side of things - I know sitting in a pub sipping orange juice while all around are drinking is not fun, but hang in there and focus on why you're doing it and you will hopefuly find your perspective changes over time. It's unfortunate that in the UK so much of our culture revolves around drinking - especially for guys. I would agree with Morrison - if possible try and make some life changes, if you don't do sport, maybe now's a good time to start (though avoid rugby and football as the drink culture is huge!) - more working out, cycling, running or something more extreme like hang gliding, rock climbing, ... - a sport which doesn't necessarily lead straight to a bar. If you can find a direction in your life that is beyond drinking, I think it could be easier - ie set yourself goals that you know you wouldn't achieve if you were once again picking yourself out of the gutter - or checking out of a police station... The focus then becomes what you want to achieve, rather than not taking the drink/drugs. It will be a challenging time, though, as you make these life changes but you've done brilliantly so far - so keep coming back, keep talking, sharing and know that we're here for you whenever you need or want to chat!

Really looking forward to hearing how it all goes - and be proud of yourself !- Not so many 22 year olds have the self-awareness or courage to make such a decision! Good luck with the therapist/doctors etc. - it might also be challenging but if you see it as a necessary part of your climb in order to get to the sumit, it is well worth it. (Sorry, too, about the longwindedness of this reply...!

Take care, :l

[w_mason1984]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Hi and thanks for your support, I have to make a confession tho, i messed up last night. I went to the pub, hit the orange juice till 10pm, and then i caved in, and before i knew it i was rolling out the pub at 2am.... I got home and had a long chat with mum, i was quite tearful because i cudnt beleive i gave in.... just because of boredom and not feeling like i was 'fitting in'.

Its a fresh day today but i'm upset about starting again, and a hangover as well just makes things worse.... Its so hard I just feel like I cant do it at the minute. So im gonna stay in full stop and keep myself out of harms way.

I beleive i left a private message to Morrison last night, sorry if it was a load of Mumbo Jumbo :-).

I would like to say: THIS DOES NOT MEAN IM GOING TO GIVE UP. And sorry for letting the side down.

Best Wishes to all on here

Will

[betty boop]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Will you haven't let anyone down, you are here, that means everything xx

[Popeye]

Hello I really need help. I'm new here

Were there's a WILL, there's a way.