Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

[supermario]

Hello everyone, I have this question that keeps coming to my head lately.
I drank for about 25 years since I was 16. Without even realizing it, I became addicted to alcohol during the last 4-5 years, I had to drink ALL the time, I was miserable when I drank and miserable when I didn't. I've been sober for over 3 months now and I am working hard to recover from my addiction.
I was terrified to call myself an alcoholic at my first AA meeting, I mean, it took guts man!! and I did not take it lightly.. But I've met some people there that also call themselves alcoholics when I think they are just problem drinkers.. They have told me that the main reason they want to quit is because they get out of control when they drink, they do crazy things, they act stupid and irresponsibly, etc. And by all means, they should stop drinking, but how can they be alcoholics when they only drink once in a while? They can take it or leave it, once they decide they can not or do not want to drink, they just don't, and they go about their day just fine. But then again, when they do drink, they do some horrible things which they feel ashamed of, so they wanna stop. To me they are just dealing with some emotional burden, some anger, resentment issues, etc but they are NOT ADDICTED to AL!!
Some of these guys or gals, can spend weeks or even months without a drink and they are fine, but when they drink, they want to walk naked into incoming traffic, jump off balconies, pick fights with everyone, etc. By all means, stop! but are they really addicted to alcohol? Don't you have to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic? Addicted to me means that you desperately have to drink, you can't function without a drink, you feel abnormal without a drink, but if you can spend months without a drink without missing it and you make an ass out of yourself when you do, some how in my eyes you are not an alcoholic, you are are an addict.. or are you?

[looking for peace]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Supermario, interesting point to ponder. They sound like binge drinkers. I am like you, I can't wrap my head around the ability to stop even from Monday through Friday and binging on weekends, let alone stopping for months. I drank daily with very few days off. I would generally drink one full bottle of wine, plus some. rarely would I go over that amount. I would start anywhere from 4pm to 6pm and drink until I met that amount.

I cannot relate to binge drinking. Not so much the drinking over the top part, but the ability to stop for long periods of time. I think as long as it creates a problem in heir live and as long as they believe they are alcoholic, then they are. I don't think the label matters as much as the impact drinking has.

I would love to hear what the thought process is with binge drinkers on this site....

[supermario]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Yeah, that's the thing, are binge drinkers alcoholics without an addition?

[halo]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Interesting post supermario and one I think I believe I can shed some light on, from personal experience...

I believe when someone is unable to stop drinking, once they've started that is a definite sign of addiction. Is addiction solely based on the days of consumption you drink and not how much one consumes? In your case if you are able to stop after your daily alcohol intake, even though you need to drink daily does that make you more or less of an addict than someone who may not drink daily but when they do they are unable to stop?

I believe both cases represent an individual who is addicted to alcohol. You happen to fall into the first category: need to drink daily in order to function, I happen to fall into the second category: once I start to drink I am unable to stop. The road is paved with good intentions, I can go days without drinking but when I do have a couple of drinks, I am unable to stop , all sane thought of this should be enough leaves my presence and I will just continue to drink putting everything out of mind other than I just want another drink.

I think both cases would classify an individual as an alcoholic . This is my personal opinion, I may be wrong but after abusing alcohol for 20 years and creating chaos in my life, I know that the only way to combat AL for an addicted alcoholic is to become AF

Like you, I would be interested in other thoughts as well. Thanks for the interesting post, especially with all the weird is hippyman real stuff going on , as a newbie it saddens me and strikes me as very odd. I believe the MWO is a nice haven to communicate with others battling the same disease,

[spiderwoman]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

When I was drinking I couldn't even dream about going a day without alcohol of some sort, I preferred white wine but if there was none then red would do nicely


or cider, or whiskey or gin or anything else that contained alcohol, if I'm being totally honest (and I still struggle to be totally honest) I'd drink anything until either it was finished or I was comatose, which ever happened first and now I've been stopped just over four months, if I had a drink now I'd drink to oblivion without a doubt so wouldn't that make me one of the people you've described above?

I'm being the devil's advocate here but surely we are all alcoholics who haven't had a drink today? My best friend who is almost certainly an alcoholic insists I don't have a problem, but inside I know I have a problem because there is no "enough" mechanism to stop me once I start.

Just my view ...

[halo]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

I am with you spiderwoman, I do not have the "enough" mechanism either once I start to drink, at least we have finally actually said "enough" and won't even pick up the first drink, instead we are trying to get help and finally change our lives for the better...

[jenniech]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

just like there is more than one type of cancer, i think there is more than one type of alcoholism. I was a daily drinker with a high bottom. But, I know binge drinkers that have hit so many bottoms, I don't know how they can live with themselves or justify picking up.....but they can go a week without drinking. When they do drink, it is really amazing how much they can consume in a very short period of time. Quite a disturbing thing to see indeed.

[Texas40]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Hi....I am someone who does not post often, but I read every single day. I have asked myself this question so many times over the last few years, but even more since finding this site. I know I am an alcoholic, but I have found that I guess I am not as "severe" as I thought I was. I do feel the need to have a drink every single day (I have gone days without drinking since finding this site though.) I always started drinking at the same time everyday and thought that I did not possess that "off switch". I still seem to crave a drink everyday, but I do whatever I can to keep myself busy to not open a beer. On the days I have decided to open that first drink, I am able to only have a few and switch to water. I do still consider myself an alcoholic though even though I seem to be able to stop once starting. I know, deep down, if beer was not bad for me I would drink at least a six pack every single night. I hate that I have that feeling, but I am doing whatever I can to not drink like I used to. But I know I am addicted to beer....

[jenniech]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

thanks for posting that Texas!
Wow, I could not do what you do. For me, the mind games and constant internal debating about when to drink, how much to drink, etc. was just to damned stressful!!

[Texas40]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Hi Jenniech! It is definitely not easy....many nights I want to drink so bad it is uncomfortable. I wish I could say that I have completely come to the mindset to go AF forever, but unfortunately I have not reached that point yet. I do see that I spent way to many years reaching for that next beer just out of habit and not because I was still craving a drink. My goal is to get this crap out of my life for good though. It is hard...as it is for so many here....my entire social circle, including my husband, family members etc., drink often. Over the past few months I have spent less time with my husband than I used to. He drinks at night and I tend to just get in the bed and watch tv or read. I never have drank in my bedroom so it is not a place I associate with drinking. I miss hanging out with him like I used to, but honestly he gets on my nerves when he is drinking and I am sober. Sad reality!

I know I have said this in a few posts, but I hope all of you know how much you inspire people who you don't even realize are reading everyday. I would never have had so many AF nights without the inspiration I have found here.

[jenniech]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Texas - wow, incredible discipline!
I personally look forward to crawling into bed AF and waking up refreshed in the morning.
There are a lot of things I still miss about drinking, though, to be completely honest. One of those things is going out to dinner with my husband and having a few drinks with him....and I find him really annoying when he is drinking and I am not. I can totally relate to that!! But I look at it this way: I am not like other people. My off switch is broken. So, while those around me can enjoy a glass or two of wine or beer, I can not. If I had one glass, I would start obsessing about the next glass and then the next, etc. and that really isn't fun at all.

[Texas40]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

You are right...it is definitely not fun to have just one drink. I am slowly coming to that conclusion! I am a little stubborn in all aspects of life and as in all aspects of life, I resist it! I try so hard to always remember how great it feels to be sober and completely attuned to all of my surroundings.....that feeling has kept me from opening that first drink many nights. I wish I could say every night, but sadly that is not the case quite yet. I have opened up to my husband regarding my struggle so many times and he always rolls his eyes and says that there is no way I am an alcoholic. I know I am though. A normal person does not think about drinking as much as I have for many years. I am not the person I want to be quite yet, but I have made many strides in the past few months and for that I am proud. I will get there eventually! I just need to grow up and face reality! I will be 41 next week....I think I should have done this way before now!

Didn't mean to hijack your thread supermario! It did speak to me though!

[MtnMomma]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

I'm new to sobriety but wouldn't have it any other way. I surrendered my addiction and allowed help in releasing with complete abandon the guilt, fear, negativity and everything that came with my binge drinking. An alcoholic is someone whose life is unmanageable with drinking. I tried everything to make drinking work with my life, since I only drank once a week, how could I possibly be an alcoholic?! Well, I was in the worst way. The urge to drink was coming more frequently and I found myself lying, hiding, sneaking, manipulating, neglecting in every way to keep drinking. This is what addiction does. Doesn't matter if it's drugs or alcohol or the frequency. Once I liberated myself, I found dealing with personal resentments easier to face and deal with. Everyday for the last month has been some kind of awakening. I sometimes wake up and feel like I should be guilty and shameful but for what? Because that's what I had been used to for so long. I let go each day and happy I'm knowing myself, the person I'm meant to be.

[Nelz]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Texas40;1492761 wrote: Hi Jenniech! It is definitely not easy....many nights I want to drink so bad it is uncomfortable. I wish I could say that I have completely come to the mindset to go AF forever, but unfortunately I have not reached that point yet. I do see that I spent way to many years reaching for that next beer just out of habit and not because I was still craving a drink. My goal is to get this crap out of my life for good though. It is hard...as it is for so many here....my entire social circle, including my husband, family members etc., drink often. Over the past few months I have spent less time with my husband than I used to. He drinks at night and I tend to just get in the bed and watch tv or read. I never have drank in my bedroom so it is not a place I associate with drinking. I miss hanging out with him like I used to, but honestly he gets on my nerves when he is drinking and I am sober. Sad reality!

I know I have said this in a few posts, but I hope all of you know how much you inspire people who you don't even realize are reading everyday. I would never have had so many AF nights without the inspiration I have found here.

You are most certainly not alone in that aspect. Thats the exact reason I drank too. I would actually not even want to drink certain nights, but I would ALWAYS reach for one too.

However with some time of fighting off the urger, they come less often, and get much easier to handle...because THAT becomes your new habit.

Keep up the fight

[Texas40]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

It is amazing and very sad to me how many years I spent doing exactly that....It was just what I did and nobody ever said a word about it. Wish I had come to the conclusion to years earlier that I needed to do something about my "bad habit". I resist change for some reason though. I am trying to quit smoking as well. I have made significant changes to both so far, but for some reason I have not been able to wrap my head around quitting forever. I am getting there though. Reading here everyday keeps me focused on wanting that change.