Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

[Snapdragon]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Supermario

That is an interesting question and one that I think we all seem to dwell on - but at the end of the day whether you are an alcoholic or not isn't really the issue. It's whether or not alcohol is causing a problem in your life and is stopping you from leading a 'normal' happy existence.

I say this because I've considered myself an 'alcoholic' for years - I gave myself that label because I was drinking far to much, was drinking every night and craved a drink when I couldn't have one.

I recently started having councelling through an alcohol recovery organisation in the UK and was very surprised (and if I'm honest initally a bit put out) to be told that I'm not an alcoholic, but am a problem drinker due to habit.

I'm not physically dependent on alcohol - I don't get physical withdrawls when I don't drink - just a massive craving. I am told that is mental dependence driven purely by habit developed over many years and to get over it I need to break the habit and learn - new non-drinking habits so that eventually my brain will re-adjust and focus on new and different things.

Well - true or not, I'm working on this theory. I used to bite my fingernails once and tried painting them with all sorts of horrid things to make me stop. It was a good few months before I finally stopped inadvertently put my finger into my mouth for a quick chew. However, that was years ago and once I broke the habit I havent chewed my nails since (I pick my nose instead!! :H:H:H)

[supermario]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

To me, if you are unable to stop once started, EVEN if you only drink once in a while, if it's all or nothing to you, if you constantly crave alcohol, then you are addicted and you are an alcoholic. That was unfortunately my case..
But if you only drink occasionally and you don't crave a drink, then you are not addicted..
I've met some people who feel embarrassed, ashamed, because of their negative conduct when drunk, but they don't drink often enough to become addicted, they don't crave it, their lives do not revolve around booze. By all means they should stop, but they are not addicted, they do not need detox or rehab. They seem to be dealing with some emotional issues, personality issues, low self esteem, etc not addiction.. that's what I've seen around AA with some folks..

[Wildflowers]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

supermario;1492949 wrote: To me, if you are unable to stop once started, EVEN if you only drink once in a while, if it's all or nothing to you, if you constantly crave alcohol, then you are addicted and you are an alcoholic. That was unfortunately my case..
But if you only drink occasionally and you don't crave a drink, then you are not addicted..
I've met some people who feel embarrassed, ashamed, because of their negative conduct when drunk, but they don't drink often enough to become addicted, they don't crave it, their lives do not revolve around booze. By all means they should stop, but they are not addicted, they do not need detox or rehab. They seem to be dealing with some emotional issues, personality issues, low self esteem, etc not addiction.. that's what I've seen around AA with some folks..

I tend to agree with you, that there is a difference in being an alkie verses abusing. Doesn't mean if you abuse it long & hard that you might flip that switch to a permanent off position. I'm a gray thinker in many areas. Still doesn't explain how I was a severe alkie in my teenage yrs, became a binger in my twenties, thirties, nearly died in forties. It generally progresses with time if your a true alkie, imo.

I had many layers of denial to peel back. In reflection I've always been a true alkie. My switch was already off to begin with. Even my thinking is a bit skewed. :H

Neuroscience, psychology, technology can explain it better these days. I have notebooks, but all my research came up with the same answer.

My suggestion is to try & not compare your self to others. Look for similarities not differences, focus on Your sobriety & recovery! Keep it simple, don't drink today! The longer you work on YOU & don't worry about anyone else's addiction or lack of, the stronger Your Recovery will become. I know it's hard at first, but later it will make sense.

It mainly comes down to thinking, feelings & changing behavior. How are you going to create a healthier, happier life? That's what your in the process of doing. Good for you!

[Wildflowers]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Some people don't believe in the physiological, predisposition of genetics behind addiction. Some believe it's only an emotional, mental, spiritual disease or problem. I believe it can be all, or a combo, or maybe none of the above. I don't think it's black & white. People aren't all the same.

For myself I believe I was born with a predisposition of genetics. It was awakened by being in emotionally traumatic events in my childhood. Which most likely, my brain never developed properly. Along with not having proper nutrition, counseling, etc.

All of this affected my mental health as well. I'm choosing not to discuss the spiritual aspects about this. Ask Oprah.

But, like I said, I think it can be different for many people. Not right or wrong. We just are, who we are. Growing, healing. Becoming stronger, healthier, whole, happier. That's my goal & some days I fall short, but that's OK to.

I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic woman today!

[Struggles 106]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

YOU ARE RIGHT MOLLY!

I think you are right-it's the relationship with alcohol, not frequency or quantity.

Quick story-I have a friend who like beer, and we used to go out for "a beer" after work.
He would have maybe 3, sometimes as many as 4, and leave. I am quite sure that his life has not been adversely affected by drinking. Of course he didn't know that I wouldn't go home. I would stay or go to another bar. That was the difference between
us.

I don't think labels matter. I agree that it's not black or white. But the fact remains that alcohol is a poison, and for those who "enjoy" it more power to them. My main concern is me,selfishly, but it has to be that way. I only know for sure what the deal is with me and alcohol. And I cannot go there; it's a terrible disaster waiting to happen.

WAY too much to live for to allow it.

[Rip557]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

supermario;1492536 wrote: Hello everyone, I have this question that keeps coming to my head lately.
I drank for about 25 years since I was 16. Without even realizing it, I became addicted to alcohol during the last 4-5 years, I had to drink ALL the time, I was miserable when I drank and miserable when I didn't. I've been sober for over 3 months now and I am working hard to recover from my addiction.
I was terrified to call myself an alcoholic at my first AA meeting, I mean, it took guts man!! and I did not take it lightly.. But I've met some people there that also call themselves alcoholics when I think they are just problem drinkers.. They have told me that the main reason they want to quit is because they get out of control when they drink, they do crazy things, they act stupid and irresponsibly, etc. And by all means, they should stop drinking, but how can they be alcoholics when they only drink once in a while? They can take it or leave it, once they decide they can not or do not want to drink, they just don't, and they go about their day just fine. But then again, when they do drink, they do some horrible things which they feel ashamed of, so they wanna stop. To me they are just dealing with some emotional burden, some anger, resentment issues, etc but they are NOT ADDICTED to AL!!
Some of these guys or gals, can spend weeks or even months without a drink and they are fine, but when they drink, they want to walk naked into incoming traffic, jump off balconies, pick fights with everyone, etc. By all means, stop! but are they really addicted to alcohol? Don't you have to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic? Addicted to me means that you desperately have to drink, you can't function without a drink, you feel abnormal without a drink, but if you can spend months without a drink without missing it and you make an ass out of yourself when you do, some how in my eyes you are not an alcoholic, you are are an addict.. or are you?

Well I'd say the answer to your question is both. I've been both. In my earlier years I didn't drink during the week, but Friday and Saturday nights were very much based around alchohol and the alcohol use was very much based upon getting as drunk as humanly possible. Last 5 years or so has been a daily buzz, you know the kind with minimal hangover in the morning, but way more on the weekends!

Maybe its a progressive thing? The fact that the people you mention can't control it or stop when they do drink is a definitely a sign. For example my old boss didn't drink all year except the holiday season. He STAYED drunk (like a case of beer a day drunk, occasionally a fifth added on) from exactly Thanksgiving to New Years Day and not a drop the rest of the year. I dont know exactly what you would classify that as.

Nice to meet you and do keep on fighting the good fight brother!

[TheSunFlower]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Thanks for the thread

This question kept me drinking for years. Because I could quit. I did not drink throughout the day. I did not drink every day.

I did a lot of stupid things while drinking....but, not all the time.

The bottom line is.....who cares. If AL is causing problems in your life....you most likely should give it up.

I went to an accupunturist to quit smoking. When I described my smoking pattern to him....smoke two in the am....then never smoke again....until I got home. It did not matter if I was getting home at 5pm or 10pm. He explained that true addiction is when you will do no matter what to smoke, regardless of the time of day or where you are at. That was not me....with smoking or drinking.

It finally just got to the point that I realized life would be better wihout drinking. It wasn't exactly easy....I fell for about 10 years. Sometimes I worked hard to be a a "true" addict.....so I could relate in AA meetings.

Bottom line....if AL is causing you problems.....you should quit. I don't think anyone really cares if you are in true addiction or not. What I cared about.....was it was causing me too many issues. And to wake up and thank God that I had never truly hit rock bottom.

[jenniech]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

That was an AWESOME post sunflower
:thanks:

[TheSunFlower]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

Thanks...Jenni. I personally know I have spent way to much time....on whether I was a true alkie or not. If I was not a true alkie....I could continue to drink. Then I worked hard at trying to be one.

End of the day....if you are reading this....you most likely should quit. It seems so hard......but, all the playing around I did was exhausting.....not to mention at times humilating. And the lies I told to cover it up.

I am sure at the end of the day....I am an alcoholic....but, for me....who cares....IT WAS A PROBLEM!

[199days]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

I was like this binge then I could leave it for days or even weeks but the more I binged the more it crept up on me to a every day kind of thing. Some people get to the everyday drinking quicker than others some stay binging and suffering the bs that goes with it for ever. All alcoHELL addiction just different for different people.

[moni]

Alcoholic WITHOUT an addiction?? YES/NO?

spiderwoman;1492581 wrote: When I was drinking I couldn't even dream about going a day without alcohol of some sort, I preferred white wine but if there was none then red would do nicely


or cider, or whiskey or gin or anything else that contained alcohol, if I'm being totally honest (and I still struggle to be totally honest) I'd drink anything until either it was finished or I was comatose, which ever happened first and now I've been stopped just over four months, if I had a drink now I'd drink to oblivion without a doubt so wouldn't that make me one of the people you've described above?

I'm being the devil's advocate here but surely we are all alcoholics who haven't had a drink today? My best friend who is almost certainly an alcoholic insists I don't have a problem, but inside I know I have a problem because there is no "enough" mechanism to stop me once I start.

Just my view ...

I was similar to this. I put on weight and because I was still great with the gym the only thing preventing me losing it was not dieting. I wouldn't because it meant cutting out alcohol. I bartered. I bought slightly lower alcohol content wine but the thoughts on not being ABLE to have a glass of wine in the evening was unthinkable.

Saying that, I stopped cold turkey eventually with little or no help medically but a lot of support here! I was referred to an alcohol counsellor after I'd made an attempt on my life. I thought it was a regular counsellor as it had not been explained to me through the hospital who I was seeing. We discussed how easily I gave up alcohol in the end and the fact I don't get cravings and reflected that I may never have been addicted to alcohol. There would only be one way to verify this but I will never ever try this experiment. I'm AF and will remain AF.