Mad cycle

[Phin]

This is such a crazy existence. I hate everything about it and thus myself. I have been down this road for about 8 years now. I've stopped at one point for about 6 months, I've gone down to just drinking on the weekends and here I am back to nightly drinking again. This past week I've drank every night.

It's driving me crazy! Yet I can't see myself ever without drinking........

[Struggles 106]

Mad cycle

HI PHIN

Gee you are just like me! I struggled for YEARS! I too could not imagine not drinking.

I can only tell you my experience and try to give you some hope. I have 4 months now and really feel like I can make it. My goal is one year, by taking one day at a time.
Not that one year is the end, but at one year I'm going to reward myself in some way. LOL

I would imagine that you are like me-stuck in that cycle of drinking and self-loathing.
I guess you just have to learn to love yourself and treat yourself better.

If you want to chat please PM me-I found it helpful to share stuff with someone who understands. I have done awful things drunk and you can't shock me and I, or anyone here, would certainly not judge you.

Take care

[paulywogg]

Mad cycle

hey phin,i remember you from a few months ago,whats up?it is a vicious cycle im tired of it too,can go for so long doing so good,but then like you said its hard to imagine never drinking again,plus emotions and moods make me feel like drinking,but really it doesnt help us much does it?stick around this time,we can get ourselves healthy,i can feel it

[Phin]

Mad cycle

Thanks for posting. I was really venting aloud. I really wasn't expecting much of a response. I've been on this site so long saying the same things all the time......

[New Day]

Mad cycle

Well you are not alone Phin. I just got back from 2 weeks holiday.....some AF days and some moderating days, and a couple of not quite moderating. Certainly less than I used to drink though.
So I guess I'm learning slowly, but I too cannot quite envision never having a drink again.
I'm here on day 5 and just doing it one day at a time.

[Tipplerette]

Mad cycle

Day six here and on this site for a number of years. Phin, if you are REALLY ready to quit, you can find the strength to do it but without the tools available on this site, it is awfully difficult. Stay close to MWO and whatever other support groups you have mustered. We are all in this together.