New again...

[Marieth]

Here I am... again.

This time it feels different. I've read about individuals on here that tried and tried and then it just clicked. I'm wondering if that is true for me this time. I hope so. This community gives me so much hope.

AF Day 2. Had that awful "first night" not drinking last night: clammy skin, broken up sleep, anxiety about anything that moved. However, instead of panicking and making excuses and drinking I had tea and called a dear friend who is helping me through this. I folded laundry. I went to bed earlier than I have in years. Here I am, Day Two.

I am anxious about going to work this morning. I feel like my choices, and my failures, are written all over my face. I feel like I'm being judged. I need to keep reminding myself that no one can judge me for trying to make my life better. I also need to remind myself that I can work in a solitary fashion today if that helps. Time enough to deal with the other demons.

I am up early to remind myself that I will have another shaky night tonight. I will probably have to guzzle water with lemon. I will have anxiety. This is not going to happen overnight. But every day I do this for myself my body gets better, my habits get better, and I get stronger without the horrific crutch of alcohol.

I will not drink today.

[Nelz]

New again...

Wonderful, you've earned the first Nelzstar! Day one AF is the first, Seven days AF will be next for you


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[jenniech]

New again...

:welcome:
Marieth!! Please hop over to the newbies nest....lots of great tools and people there to help you out.

[jenniech]

New again...

speaking of anxiety, I have been on a low dosage of zoloft since 2000. 13 YEARS......
My anxiety and depression get less and less each and every day. I am feeling so good, that soon I am going to start tapering off them.
The point is, it is the AL that caused me so much anxiety .....
Just keep in mind this simple motto: This too shall pass....
After this bit, it just gets better and better and better...trust that to be true!!

[Phin]

New again...

Marieth;1495421 wrote: Here I am... again.

This time it feels different. I've read about individuals on here that tried and tried and then it just clicked. I'm wondering if that is true for me this time. I hope so. This community gives me so much hope.

AF Day 2. Had that awful "first night" not drinking last night: clammy skin, broken up sleep, anxiety about anything that moved. However, instead of panicking and making excuses and drinking I had tea and called a dear friend who is helping me through this. I folded laundry. I went to bed earlier than I have in years. Here I am, Day Two.

I am anxious about going to work this morning. I feel like my choices, and my failures, are written all over my face. I feel like I'm being judged. I need to keep reminding myself that no one can judge me for trying to make my life better. I also need to remind myself that I can work in a solitary fashion today if that helps. Time enough to deal with the other demons.

I am up early to remind myself that I will have another shaky night tonight. I will probably have to guzzle water with lemon. I will have anxiety. This is not going to happen overnight. But every day I do this for myself my body gets better, my habits get better, and I get stronger without the horrific crutch of alcohol.

I will not drink today.

I keep trying until it does click. I've been trying for years now. One of these days it will.

We have to keep reminding ourselves day by day why we want this, be it waking clearheaded, no puffy eyes, no bloating, no resentment from family members, I could go on and on.

I think I'm lucky where I don't get the physical withdrawals from AL, I imagine I won't always be that lucky. It will catch up with me.

I am sitting here at work and all I can think of is, going home back to bed.

I'm here for you. Any time you need me......

[Marieth]

New again...

Thank you to Nelz, mollyka, jenniech, and Phin for the immediate boost. :h

Also, thank you to mollyka and jenniech for vailidating my feelings about my anxiety. As a long time musician, I am high energy by nature. That energy, when poorly directed, can cause me anxiety. My method of dealing was alcohol. I'm going to direct that energy to the treadmill, my job, and my beloved family from here on in.

mollyka, I'm so glad you reminded me about the "Day 4 - 5" syndrome! Most of my slip ups have been at that point or around Day 15. Reminding myself right now that those will be danger times for me is crucial. I am going camping with my friends this weekend, and all camping weekends are always AF due to the carry-in/carry-out rule. This trip comes on top of Day 5-6-7... couldn't have timed it better myself.

jenniech, I did go over and check in at the Newbie Nest. I'm going to do my best to check in every day as part of my "develop new habits" effort.

Phin, I've got your back. :l

Thank you all. It takes such a load off to not feel judged.

Marieth

[Marieth]

New again...

Day Three

I'm just going to keep using this thread to post my (hopefully) successful advance.

Day Three. Last night was a touch better in the cravings department. I stopped myself from going into the grocery store that had wine and beer in it and went to another grocery store... I was too worried about the temptation.

I'm nervous about tomorrow. I have a huge project due at work, and that often leads to "celebration"... which leads to me falling off the wagon.

I'll be here a lot over the next several days... as much as I can without ignoring work.
:h

[kuya]

New again...

Avoid those places for a while, always eat before you shop, a full stomach kills cravings.

Eat well, protein and veg, watch the sugar which you will crave but save it for a treat AFTER you have eaten properly or your blood sugar will be all over the place and that mimics craving.

After day five you are running without alcohol. Remember HALT.....hungry, angry, lonely tired. One or a combination of these will be behind any urge to drink.

Hungry and tired are easy to fix, for angry and lonely come here and scream FIRE!!!

[BHOG]

New again...

Marieth-
WOW! It sounds like you are doing very well, honestly. You have figured out some of your "triggers" and are thinking aobut how to avoid them. It took me a long time to get to that stage! So, congratulations!
I like the part about changing stores to avoid the AL isle. That shows how determined you are to make this work.
Read, post, laugh, learn...
Stay Strong!

[free at last]

New again...

Hi Marieth, glad to see you are on Day 3. I believe the "personal" thread is a good way to keep yourself motivated. I started my "30 day plan" and while I wasn't immediately successful with my goal, I racked up quite a few consecutive AF days and am now 19 days AF I have read here that you will never have two bad days in a row, and if you can keep that in mind during the difficult hours/day, it might help you. Try not to think about weeks or days from now, just today. Stay strong.

[Marieth]

New again...

Thanks to...

Kuya, I love the HALT acronym! I'm putting that multiple places around the house to remind myself to think before acting.

BHOG, thanks for the encouragment. It makes me feel proud when someone says "I see that you are thinking and trying", and it makes me want to work harder.

free at last, thank you as well. I brought home my "one day" calendar from work and put it under the cupboard that holds the wine glasses. That seems to be reminding me that it's about each day right now, and those will make a stack of success.

:h

[jenniech]

New again...

HALT is a very very important thing to be aware of and it is NOT to be underestimated.

[Marieth]

New again...

Day 4

Night sweats almost gone, yippee!

Big presentation here at work, but I have already found a way around the "celebration" worry for myself. It may annoy some, but I don't care right now. Being AF is infinitely more important to me.

Here we go...

[Tipplerette]

New again...

Way to Go!! You are doing what's best for YOU (and your family) and screw the rest. It's all positive. I will put that HALT acronym in my back pocket too. I reacted to being lonely and bored by drinking. I have found a hobby to take up my 'drinking' time. You have to keep busy and not let that moment of boredom blindside you. Keep it up... you are on the right track and have all the positive energy coming your way...

xx

[K9Lover]

New again...

Hi Marieth!

Congrats on Day 4...that is a huge accomplishment in our world! I see from your signature that you are a Jillian Michaels fan...me too! I love her in a weird sort of love/hate kind of way. LOL

When I first quit drinking I had to change everything. I ONLY drank at home, so I rearranged the living room furniture and moved lamps around so that my drinking "spot" didn't look the same. I had to make it clear to my brain that "we don't drink here anymore!".

I avoided my regular stores with the well-worn alcohol aisles, where I could go in and grab a 12 pack blindfolded (or blind drunk in some cases).

My long-winded point is to change whatever you need to change. It doesn't have to be forever, just for NOW, until your brain catches up with you! I'm doing the same thing with smoking...quitting for the umpteenth time...every day I tell my brain "we don't smoke anymore".

Hang in there, you are doing great!!!

K9