A brief history of hell !

[Wine-no!]

A brief history of hell !

How are you doing Budda? x

[buddabelly]

A brief history of hell !

Hi Wi No !!!!

Love the name.

I'm a bit strange becaue I'm on Bac.

But I'm doing good and hop to continue

Lea

Thank you for asking and you ?

Lea

[Wine-no!]

A brief history of hell !

Glad to hear you are OK. I'm also fine thanks. Make sure you log on again soon and let us know how you're doing :-D

[buddabelly]

A brief history of hell !

Part 2

So, the story so far. Things are not going right. The answer to all my my ills seems to causing lots mor problems.

At this time me and the ex are running pubs for a living. Good move NOT. I hate people and being around them. Having to make mindless chit chat when I really don't give a damn. The only thing that makes this bearable and the time go fast is a drink. I can talk to people I don't want to and tolerate them with a drink. This is really the wrong job for me, but I don't know this yet.

There was a post on here ' Cringe of the Day ', well at this point my whole life was cringe.
I would go to AA, stop drinking and yeh well life iwould get better for a while. I was always left with a ' is this it ' feeling. Is this it, cos it's not enough. I had no idea what would be enough, but life without alcohol was dull boring and flat.

We moved around a bit and with every move I'd throw out my AA books, cos things were gonna be different. Needless to say they never ever were. Whereever I went my friggin head came to. Oh God the realisation on that day. It did not matter where I was, what I was doing i could not escape my head. No clothes, no money, no place could take this away. I had awful PMS. My ex and my kids suffered. I did not want to be an hysterical diiva but I could not help myself. I was crazy. No ifs no buts, I was mad.
Lea