Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

[free at last]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

Hi all, just checking in to say I made it through intense thoughts about AL today -- swam, ate a good meal, drank seltzer water, and then read and posted on MWO. Seems like a lot of AL thoughts in the air -- am acknowledging them, then moving on. That's about the best I can do right now.

Stay strong during the weekend.

[learningtolovewinter]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

Siren136;1500612 wrote:

The husband situation is still very strange. He's physically moved out (he left a lot of his stuff) but I see him nearly every day. I'm not sure how to play this. He's the one who wanted to go - not me.

maybe do ur best to stay AF and makes sure he knows it?

show him you are doing your best to get better. i think that is all you can really do? good luck to you... been following your story...

[jenniech]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

No Sugar: Not counting days? Old habits are hard to kick!!!
I must admit, I am a little bit afraid of not counting days and not posting on roll call.
I am having a ton of self doubt about my sobriety....not in the sense that I want to drink because I don't. It is just that sometimes, I don't trust myself. Can I trust myself to stay sober even if I stop doing little things like counting the days and posting on roll call? I like to think that I can trust myself but maybe I am lying to myself? I really don't know!!
Trust is such a huge issue with me not only of others but with myself as well.

[Siren136]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

Thanks, LTLW. He does know that I am on Antabuse and, while he's supportive, he's not an addict and doesn't understand why I couldn't just quit if I wanted to.

Jennie - we each need to take the path that feels right to us. So if you need and appreciate the accountability that posting in Roll Call brings, then keep doing it. I understand your point but I also understand NS' point about counting days feeling like life is still all about AL.

I've found myself losing track of the number (12 today). It's only 12 days but I feel like I am 'cured'. I know I'm not and antabuse gives me the excuse I need to not drink now, but it's going to be interesting when I stop using it. I'll need a good transition plan.

I don't think about AL the way I used to. The planning to drink, the trying not to drink and ultimately failing, the panic if I don't have enough booze in the house, stealing mead from my husband's stash downstairs, etc. The thoughts I have about AL now are fleeting, but I wonder sometimes just how much that has to do with the Antabuse. How much do I have a thought like "a drink would taste so good right now" and then just shut it down because it's not an option? I will start examining these thoughts more closely when i have them and not just dismiss them. I feel like I'm not doing important work in my recovery that I should be doing. I almost feel like I'm missing something.

Someone said something to me the other day - something like "if something doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you". It's the change we're looking for, isn't it?

[NoSugar]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

jenniech;1501107 wrote: No Sugar: Not counting days? Old habits are hard to kick!!!
I must admit, I am a little bit afraid of not counting days and not posting on roll call.
I am having a ton of self doubt about my sobriety....not in the sense that I want to drink because I don't. It is just that sometimes, I don't trust myself. Can I trust myself to stay sober even if I stop doing little things like counting the days and posting on roll call? I like to think that I can trust myself but maybe I am lying to myself? I really don't know!!
Trust is such a huge issue with me not only of others but with myself as well.

Hi, Jennie :l

Old habits are hard to quit - especially that one of drinking each evening !!!
BUT WE ARE DOING IT!!

I am conflicted about the roll call -- I want to be at a 'new stage' -- but I am really there? Through this whole process, I've wanted to be farther along than wherever I was.
Whenever people ahead of us reached a milestone, I wanted to BE THEM. Patience definitely is not one of my stronger virtues...

I think I'll see how it goes not keeping track of days (and of course, I can always just use your efforts to chart my own progress -- thanks!!). And I love reading the roll call and seeing all the successes mount up! The other nice thing is we can always change our minds -- if I miss posting, I'll start again! If you get tired of it and don't think it matters, you can stop. The lack of rules around here is pretty nice -- each of us is free to find our OWN WAY OUT - which I guess was the founder's point.

I've seen some of your posts in some threads this morning - It sounds like the addicted part of your brain has been messing with you lately! It surprised me when it reared its ugly face just before reaching the 100 day goal. Maybe part of us fears success ( ???).

Have you tried writing down for yourself or posting what you are thinking? I was feeling like I was thinking about drinking all the time and it was really wearing me down. It was when I typed it that I realized that it wasn't that I wanted to drink now (or ever) but that I didn't see how I could do this forever. Those are different problems. And I know how I can do this forever because I've learned it here -- ONE DAY AT A TIME!

So, do you know what part is bothering you? If you don't feel like posting, write to yourself or a friend. ( I love getting PMs - feel free to write to me anytime. ).

We can do this, friend. Love, NS :h

[Roz]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

I haven't had anything to drink since April 17th so I want to keep the ball rolling. I'm in.

[free at last]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

Hi Roz, welcome and congrats on your progress thus far.

Dear Fellow May abstainers -- happy to report tonight marks 30 consecutive AF days/nights for me. Could not have done it without so much encouragement from so many people. Thank you.

Now, tomorrow is another day, which i plan to make AF.

[NoSugar]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

free at last;1501311 wrote: Hi Roz, welcome and congrats on your progress thus far.

Dear Fellow May abstainers -- happy to report tonight marks 30 consecutive AF days/nights for me. Could not have done it without so much encouragement from so many people. Thank you.

Now, tomorrow is another day, which i plan to make AF.

Happy to report???? C'mon Free!! With how hard you worked this should be:

- -THRILLED TO REPORT... !!!!





We are all happy and thrilled for you !!!! xx - NS

[free at last]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

Thanks, NoSugar for the blinkies. You are right, I am thrilled, actually more than thrilled. It's been a long journey and I know I have just started down the road, but am getting stronger with each day I concsiously choose not to drink. THANKS to you and so many others. Free

[InChains]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

dropping out of may, sorry guys

[Tipplerette]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

Free at Last, Congratulations... thirty days is a biggie and the goal I am aspiring to presently. Well done.

In Chains, please keep posting and coming around. I understand how the routine goes and have stopped and started too many times to count. When you are ready, you will know it. Sending serene thoughts your way..

[thelaststraw]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

I am still good. I am meeting new people - nondrinkers ! ! !

And, I am having fun with them.

Am enjoying being sober - I never thought I'd ENJOY not drinking, but I am. No worries, no sneaking, no lost days.

Huh, who'd have thought.

Many thanks to you guys.

-S-

[Ambrose71]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

'May the fourth be with you'. Day 4 - May 4. DONE.

Now to tackle 'Cinco de mayo' before facing 'Revenge of the Sixth'. So far so good. Busy yesterday and I went out to pick up take out and was very tempted to sneak in a six pack and chill in my basement after along day. But didn't.

[Tipplerette]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

Nice going, Ambrose, we really glorify getting sh#% faced don't we. I woke up at 5:45 this morning to watch the sunrise over the water and never would have done that if I would have had a few last night. Very rewarding.

[halo]

Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

May , brings out the beautiful weather and cravings have increased dramatically, all those patio days. am still AF but am finding it harder now than I did at the beginning???? Must look in the tool box for some tips, am determined to keep on this path. Absolutely LOVE no hangovers, DO NOT want to go back....