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Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

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    #91
    Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

    jenniech;1502026 wrote:
    NS, Siren and Free At Last: You talked about getting worked up about an event and then the event not turning in to what you anticipated and you were able to "sail" through. IMO, I think it is BECAUSE you get worked up beforehand. At least for me, if I think it through before the event, I am not caught off guard but rather I have my full defenses up and ready for action and ready to answer questions like "are you ok?" (because I am not drinking)...I get asked that A LOT. It is when I am caught off guard that I am weak.....but with time, these unplanned situations get a bit easier.
    Good point, Jennie. My goal should be to be prepared and work out various scenarios and my possible responses
    but to do it calmly !

    :h NS

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      #92
      Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

      Horrible dream alert: I dreamt that I was away on vacation with someone who I know in AA .... she just had her 3 year anniversary last night so that is probably why she was in it. Anyway, in the dream, she encouraged me to order a beer since, she said, being away from home made it "not count". So I ordered the beer and had two sips and then said "WHAT AM I DOING!!!!!!" I put the glass down and was disgusted that I had just done that. It was then that my sponsor came up to me and said "now you are going to have to start all over again on Day 1". It was horrible.
      I just won't anymore

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        #93
        Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

        jenniech;1502049 wrote: Horrible dream alert: I dreamt that I was away on vacation with someone who I know in AA .... she just had her 3 year anniversary last night so that is probably why she was in it. Anyway, in the dream, she encouraged me to order a beer since, she said, being away from home made it "not count". So I ordered the beer and had two sips and then said "WHAT AM I DOING!!!!!!" I put the glass down and was disgusted that I had just done that. It was then that my sponsor came up to me and said "now you are going to have to start all over again on Day 1". It was horrible.
        Hey, Jennie. I had a dream like that last week and it contributed to my "freak out". If it happens again, I'm going to try to just take it as a warning rather than a glimpse into an inevitable future, which is what I managed to twist it into this time.

        xx NS :h

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          #94
          Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

          Hello all! Hope everyone is doing really well, just wanted to share and wanted to know if anyone encountered a similar situation and what your response might have been..

          So I have been AF since March 11 (the 311 gang date), I have, during social situations when asked why I am not drinking, have said for health reasons I have chosen to not drink at this time. People will make the odd comment, but accept my reasoning and move on. I have been happy thinking that my friends and colleagues have been accepting and supportive of m choice. Well I have been proven wrong after this exchange today: Friends were discussing an upcoming social event, I offered to assist with the organization and a comment was made by someone: "Why would you help, you're not drinking or so "you say"!!!!! I calmly asked what do you mean by or "so you say", the person responded by commenting: I just don't believe you've stopped drinking, you probably are but just not with us??????? I was extremely irritated..The only statement I came up with was: "Why would I make it up??? It's like cheating in golf, if you do, your cheating and lying to yourself, I have decided to stop drinking for me not for anyone else .. "

          I am so proud of my thus achieved sobriety and AF days, it makes me furious that some people think I am "drinking behind closed doors" especially because I never ever did, I was always a social drinker, I didn't drink alone, I always searched out people to drink with and social events to attend in order to drink and everone knew this about me.

          Any advice on how to respond if this occurs again, I don't want to lose my temper
          On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

          Comment

            #95
            Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

            Jenniech, No Sugar: No Day 1's for us!!!! We are making it through May AF come hell or high water!!!!
            On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

            Comment

              #96
              Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

              halo;1502265 wrote: Jenniech, No Sugar: No Day 1's for us!!!! We are making it through May AF come hell or high water!!!!
              It's a deal !

              I read your post above this one. I can see why you were angry and hurt. It also is a really odd thing for your friend to have said. Did it sound like s/he was suggesting you were drinking alone or with different friends? If the latter, it sounds like a bit of jealousy. Either way, it is another example of drinking being too big of a deal and unfortunately, central to so much! If you can, just let it go and don't let it bother you since we don't care about all of that anymore, right ???

              :h NS

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                #97
                Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                Halo, I thought your response was brilliant - "Why would I make it up?" I'm picturing the scene in my head and I have a feeling that your friend came off sounding petty and whiny. Something I came across a little while ago always rings true for me - "What somebody else thinks about me is none of my business.". And yes, it does sound like a bit of small minded jealousy.
                Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

                Comment

                  #98
                  Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                  Horrible comments about "Or, so you say..."

                  I have a bit of a relief that I'd never get that type of comment because no one knows I quit, or even had a challenge in that area. I am kinda thankful for that. But I do feel you for having to be challenged that way.

                  Happy to report still doing fine, sober, lost track of how many days, but it's been over 90 since I first quit with a choice to drink after 34 days or so AF. Anyhow, had a couple of urges which were controlled by fast forwarding the outcome and decision to just stay home.

                  I hope ya'll have a great and safe day.

                  -S-

                  Comment

                    #99
                    Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                    Siren136;1502332 wrote: - "What somebody else thinks about me is none of my business.".
                    Siren, thanks for this, I love it! I have enough on my plate without worrying what others may think, being AF puts a clearer perspective on what the definition of a "friend" truly is..Here's to another AF day!
                    On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

                    Comment

                      #100
                      Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                      Hi, halo,

                      That remark was beyond rude- she basically called you a liar. Good job keeping it together and responding the way that you did. I love siren's quote, too. Enjoy your day!

                      Comment

                        #101
                        Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                        Halo
                        That sucks that someone could be so completely rude. It would make me question the friendship. Of course, my first reaction was that this person must also have a serious problem and can't imagine living life without AL and is simply jealous of you.
                        Try to dismiss it as just that and move on. I love the "what other people think of me is none of my business" Brilliant.
                        I just won't anymore

                        Comment

                          #102
                          Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                          Hi all,

                          As these threads have been reportedly so helpful we can't let this one die. I'm still here - hanging out on AB and not drinking. Last night I started thinking about going off it for a while as I am constantly tired, even when I take my pill at night. So I'm definitely going to lower the dose or take it every other day at the least. But I'm very grateful for it and for being, as of today, 17 days sober.

                          Not much else going on for me - the new organization at work was finally announced on Tuesday, so we can begin our transitions. My biggest job is going to be bringing others up to speed on what I was doing, as I'm taking over a position in relative stasis, at least for now. SO it's just a matter of getting up to speed.

                          I hope everyone else is well and ready for spring!
                          Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

                          Comment

                            #103
                            Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                            Great quote from Marvin Gaye, Siren.

                            Since i'm nearing the end of Day 11 (it's currently 8.00pm where i am) i guess i can count myself amongst the AF Mays! WooHoo!
                            When i got cranky with a client on the phone at work today (he's a known nuisance), i said to myself, "This is not going to make me bust at Day 11. Nothing will make me bust at Day 11!"
                            sigpic

                            Comment

                              #104
                              Who's Working It? -- AF May starts today

                              Good morning!
                              I have been having a lot of aches and pains the past couple of days. My hip especially hurts. (going to dr. next week). BUT, I set my alarm for 4:50 am this morning to make my favorite class at the gym which started at 5:30. Alarm goes off but I doze off again until 5:15. I jolt out of bed and quickly get dressed but then I can't find my keys. Meanwhile, it is 5:27 by now. I search the house, can't find them (and my license is attached to my key chain). So, I grab my husband's keys intending to get to that class no matter what. Go to car with thoughts of accidents or speeding tickets without license. Get in car and I am detained by newspaper delivery car. OK, so now it is 5:37. I see myself walking into the class 15/20 minutes late (very annoying and disruptive to others in the class), I am driving without a license and my hip is really bothering me. OMG< just like what I used to do and the lengths I would take to go out and get another bottle!!! Too many signs telling me NO but here I am doing it anyway......
                              So what did I do? I pulled back into my driveway and came on here. I let go of my self will....there were too many things stacked against it.
                              Instead I will go for a nice long walk but if my hip hurts, I will just turn around and come home. Hitting the gym this morning just wasn't meant to be. And drinking AL just isn't meant to be for me. Weird analogy, I know, but that is my thought process this early in the morning!!!!
                              That self will is powerful!! But I am slowly learning how to just let it go.
                              I just won't anymore

                              Comment

                                #105
                                Who&#39;s Working It? -- AF May starts today

                                jenniech;1503330 wrote: Good morning!

                                Instead I will go for a nice long walk but if my hip hurts, I will just turn around and come home. Hitting the gym this morning just wasn't meant to be. And drinking AL just isn't meant to be for me. Weird analogy, I know, but that is my thought process this early in the morning!!!!
                                That self will is powerful!! But I am slowly learning how to just let it go.
                                Hey, Jennie

                                Since this began, I have met my personal and professional obligations, not consumed alcohol, and otherwise pretty much done only what I wanted... It has felt decadent but nice and I think necessary because the big life change we are making takes a great deal of concentration and energy (and time on MWO ).

                                I know I will get back to more regular exercise because it has been an important part of my entire adult life but I don't think I will feel compelled to do it anymore - it will be something to do because I want to. Maybe after the trip I'm on right now... we'll see.

                                Love, NS :h

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