Cringe of the Day

[Nursie]

Know how you get those little flashbacks from when you were drinking, and you cringe just thinking about it?
My son said to me today "Mommy, remember when you used to arm wrestle?"
How does he remember that?!!
He saw me arm wrestle with my brothers, it was our thing.
But unbeknownst to my dear son, Mommy used to arm wrestle many a person while tanked. It's like I grew a giant set of balls when I was drunk and just wanted to wrestle random dudes.
There are places I can never show my face!!
Thank The Lord I don't have to feel like that ever again!

[Lavande]

Cringe of the Day

Take some comfort in knowing that we all probably have something that's best forgotten.
Forgetting that stuff & moving on is all part of the process

[Kradle123]

Cringe of the Day

I absolutely have those moments, Nursie. Unfortunately when they hit they get followed closely baba craving because along with the cringe moment comes the WTF - who cares- I can never make anything better....yuk..

But now, I think of all of you right away and know I'm a going to be okay and I am not alone anymore like I was before....

That is so huge for me. And thank heavens you're here too. :l

:h

[buddabelly]

Cringe of the Day

Cringy, cringier, cringiest !

Good morning nursie,

oh if my whole drinking life flashed before me what would be the cringiest moment ? Such a vast array to choose from, but the worst always, always by far are the ones where I've been working so hard to stay sober, dignified and be the picture perfect mother and then one of the much loved but worldly wise darlings brings me crashing back to reality with

" Do you remember when we came home from school and found you asleep, in your underwear in the dog's basket mum ?"

OMG, OMG ,OMG !

Thinks, Err ! Um ! No can't say I do.

What else have they got on me ! I dread to think !

It just shows me what a parallel universe I live in when drinking. When this has happened, and it has on many occasions, I curl up and die a bit inside. For them and for me. This was not what I wanted for them, and they've had worse I can tell you. Let me think...

" Mum do you remember coming downstairs, after you shower, wrapped in a hand towel. All our friends were there "

" Mum do you remember trying to fight the taxi driver last night ? "

Oh Nursie this one could run and run !

Lea

[Kradle123]

Cringe of the Day

BB :l

I know those moments are tough but they sound to me so...unique and makes me grateful you're here...

The twins don't really remember anything except sometimes I smelled like wine and they hated that. But Mathieu...yikes! And he's 14 now with a VERY good memory. uch:

:l:h

[Wine-no!]

Cringe of the Day

Hello
I have many a cringe flash back and I am only on day two LOL!
One of my biggest drives is to do this for my kids... They are young enough now that if I change my ways, it hopefully won't be a lasting memory for them.
Hugs x

[paulywogg]

Cringe of the Day

my then 14 yr old youngest daughter caught me passed out in the afternoon,with my boob hanging out! traumatizing for both

[little beagle]

Cringe of the Day

Not Just Me?

here is thought I was the only one who had these moments.

[Cocoflo]

Cringe of the Day

Nursie,

You are not alone. I had more than my share of cringe worthy moments.....

I'm embarrassed just thinking about all of the stupid things that I have done.

[Byrdlady]

Cringe of the Day

I will have to go find the thread, 'You know you're an alcoholic when....." A whole thread devoted to these! Part of the healing is to be able to cringe about it with others who have been there (and try and minimize it to our friends and families). Let me go find it. Byrdie

[Struggles 106]

Cringe of the Day

CRINGE

Oh my yes---many cringe-worthy moments. Incredibly sad.

Several years ago my daughter was visiting and I got up one day and she was furious.
I was drunk the night before and took an Ambien. She could not wake me up and was terrified. She said I was yelling something about "blasphemy"
She told her dad and he asked me to stop getting drunk when she was around.
PATHETIC and I ain't goin' back

[Wildflowers]

Cringe of the Day

Hi Nursie & Everyone,

Weird as last night in bed watching the Tele with Mr. Wilde I had some flashbacks about some very bad things I'd done while drunk. I have drunk a log that is Gnimorous. I've hurt many people in my life. I don't stare at my past or live there. I work hard at living in the present & some days are harder then others. I don't do it perfectly, but I keep getting better at it! I tend to future trip to.

That wasn't Wildflowers. Now I generally am a kind gal, but oh I can still be mean & a bit crazy gal at times. I also have tools I've used from other programs, like the 12 steps, Smart, WFS, CBT, DBT therapies. Spent time, money invested in myself to heal. I have to recycle & rotate often. I also use visualization of who I'm becoming & am becoming.

I biggie for me is I have a HP whom I call God. A real relationship, not religious one. One that is loving & forgiving. I've found it's easier for me to forgive myself because I also practice concepts of spirituality in my life & so does my family.

To each their own & "Live & Let Live". Respect & not dominate others is something I can hope for, but not demand. I also meditate & sometimes just sit outside myself like watching a movie. Go chill.... I get to choose today who I want in my life, where I spend my time. .... I love sobriety & more important is Recovery!

I will not let the past define or determine who I am! I'm taking my recovery slower then some, cause I became quite sick, along with my other health issues, but I'm OK. Progress not Perfection.

Nursie you will get beyond your 76 days woman. I'm so proud of you, so happy for you!.... Your rockin it girl!..... :l :h

Oh & Nursie, or anyone if it helps. My sentence I also use visualization of who I'm becoming & am becoming. When I was about 8 or 9 months sober I thought I should have already arrived at this goal or that goal. I was once again comparing myself unfavorably to other people. Or there standards. I realized with a little internal work I'm not going to do that. I'm going to be OK with being where I'm at Now. The best part of all of it is I'm grateful, that I can keep moving fwd, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly & it's all going to be OK, sometimes it's even grrt. When I have bad days & doubts that's OK to now.

[K9Lover]

Cringe of the Day

Whenever my daughter would start a sentence with "Mom do you remember last night when..." I'd hold up my hand and say "Just stop...whatever you're about to say, NO I don't remember". The sad part is my memory is still sooo bad I need to be reminded of things I said the night before...and I was sober! But at least none of the "reminders" are of things embarrassing or stupid I did. Just normal every-day run-of-the-mill stuff like where to get her after school. LOL (Yeah, I've actually gone all the way home and realized I forgot to get her! jeez)

[buddabelly]

Cringe of the Day

Cringe

I am so so graced with my children. I know I have hurt them. But they know I never ever meant to hurt them. My whole reason for being has been them. I loved them, like I had never been loved or cared for.

I could give them what I did not have. I could love them like I could not bear myself.

They have witnessed my struggles and pain and humiliation. I've phoned them and told them I did not want to live. Did not want to be here.

The only thing that has kept me here has been them. I can't do it to them.

They want me to do this for me.

I adore them. They are all employed and in stable relationships. Wise beyond their years.
Maybe, all I could do was dilute the dysfunction. I treated them as worthy of listening to and respecting. I was and am very screwed up but have spoken to them tonight.

Lea

[Nursie]

Cringe of the Day

Great responses everyone. I do remember that thread, Byrdie.
Sometimes I forget something and I immediately panic because I'm so used to forgetting meaning a black-out. Then when I realize I just plum forgot, I am thankful all over again that I don't have to feel that way again. I don't have to co-sign alcohol's disclaimer. I am Nursie, and I can be this sober person!