I am new here, although I've lurked for a while and read a lot of posts. I'm a UK member, female, with two children and a responsible job, but I feel that I'm losing control of my life.
I probably drink an average of a bottle/bottle and a half of wine a night. Sometimes I don't bother, and sometimes I have two. I often say to myself that I'll have an AF week, but it never happens.
I wake up most mornings with what I call The Fear - the worry that I've said or done (or posted online) something horrible that I don't remember. Usually, I've just dreamt it, but it's such a horrible feeling, and my life should not be out of my control like this.
Also, my children (teens) often get annoyed because I ask them about things they've told me last night, but I've forgotten. I pretend it's the menopause, but doubt they're convinced. It's not good, is it?
I'm always on time for work, but am probably not 100% most mornings, which again, isn't good. I know I'm lucky in many ways, but something can't be right if I have to drink myself to sleep most nights.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I hope to be able to cut back hugely, by becoming part of this community. I don't know if I'll have to cut it out altogether, though - what do people think about someone drinking to my sort of level? Can I cut back, or should it be a cutout thing?
For me it's the old thing about being sick and tired of being sick and tired; and also about not wanting the children to remember me as a drunk when they look back on their lives at home. I', more scared than this post will sound. I'm sure. It's a Brit thing.
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