Another newbie

[Arial]

Another newbie

Hi Doodle - so much for the british reserve - I know exactly how you feel! You also described pretty much exactly my situation of a month ago - about 20 years of drinking regularly, a bottle a night, teenagers who got really annoyed when I couldn't remember plans made the night before, yet again falling asleep in front of a video, no productive work done once the bottle of wine was open (6pm drinking hour)... I'd tried to moderate many times but got tired of the constant battle of 'will I, won't I', 'how much', 'I'll have just one or two glasses - promise this time!' and waking up yet again disappointed, frustrated, hungover, listless, depressed...

So that was it - and it has been the inspiration found from everyone here that has led me to being 32 days AF now - and loving it! I haven't decided whether to be AF or try to moderate - it's too big a decision to make, so I'll take things as they come. I've found for the moment it's so much easier having decided no alcohol - it alleviates all choice and decision-making!

I'm now trying to make up for lost time with the girls, give them some better memories of me before they leave home, and actually participate in life again. There are certain key things I think to it being successful (so far) for me this time: desperation to change the life I was in; strangely, something just clicked - mentally this was it; inspiration from this site - I can't say enough how important coming here has been to read other's journeys, to share thoughts, to fill time (not in a negative way, but as a help to get through the drinking hour or cravings), to feel part of a group and prevent the feeling of isolation...etc; a focus on getting fit again (also to help keep busy but also to give a new dimension to my life). Am now looking at other things as well, for example studying more, meditation, change of direction at work, - anything that could make me feel I'm moving forward and get beyond the alcohol.

So a long-winded reply (I seem to be good at these today, sorry!) - but glad to have you with us, see what works for you and look forward to sharing this journey with you. Despite the British reserve, don't feel uncomfortable being honest here - there are no judgements or criticisms - you're amongst people who have been there done that, and we're all travelling together. So :welcome:

[doodledoll]

Another newbie

Thanks everyone. What a lovely welcome.

I've got some Kudzu, and a raft of hypnosis downloads and CDs, but they haven't worked in the past. I suspect I don't take them regularly enough, and am determined to take them three times a day from now on.

I also use milk thistle, and have done for years, in the hope of minimising liver damage. It's one of those things that without regular checkups there's no way of knowing how effective it is, but the evidence seems to suggest that it is useful and can do no harm.

We're going away over Easter, so I doubt I'll succeed in AF until we get back. Between now and then, I'm going to try to moderate, and see how I get along. It's only a week till we go, and I don't want to feel like a failure by lapsing when on holiday, and put myself off. Having said that, I'm good at finding excuses not to start 'just yet'. There's always something, whether it's a friend coming over, a social event on the horizon, it'll be Christmas in six months, and so on.

Oh well. I've put it in writing this time round, so after Easter it is. If I've managed to moderate successfully (ie keep within government guidelines) before then, I'll be more than surprised, but I'll keep going. If not, I'll try AF for a while, and see how that goes.

Thanks again for the welcome. It's much appreciated.

[rebelicious]

Another newbie

Have been where you are.

I hope you have a great time

I can completely relate to your accounts (except for the fact that I haven't found my husband yet). I found my friends often saying, "Yeah, you told me that before."

Because of this site, I'm not ashamed to admit that kind of behavior. Because of this site, I'm doing much better at everything.

rebel