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    #1

    filled with fear

    Hello beautiful people, I'm 42 and have been drinking heavily for the last 10 or so years, for reasons that I can only say results from a deep self loathing and selfish streak that has taken over my life and I was powerless to control it... Until 15 days ago when i decided this madness of self destructing drinking must stop now. Of course I've tried to stop many times and but I always returned to rekindle of relationship with the bottle. That is because I've just lost my wife, my son, my car, my house and my job is hanging on like a torn pair jeans. Not to mention my dignity and self asteem. But after 15 days sober I feel like life is starting to worth Living, despite my loss. I've found strength I never knew existed, and I owe my life to a drug called campral. Anti craving hey? Yeah right! But it works, and I haven't craved a drink for the first time in many years. Thank you for listening, you're all beautiful
    :new:
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    #2
    filled with fear

    Hi Kay_jay, congratulations on the 15 days. I'm on day 11 myself, also with the aid of Campral. The effect is subtle, but the stuff really works!
    In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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      #3
      filled with fear

      I too have had a heavy drinking problem for about 10 years. I am starting out just today to be AF. I just dumped out all the alcohol in my house. I am scared but know this is what I must do for myself and for my family. Be proud that you have made it 15 days. That is awesome. I hope I can say the same thing. Campral really works? Maybe I should look into it.

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        #4
        filled with fear

        Hi Secret, my recommendation would be to make an appointment with a doctor or psychiatrist - after a consult they can recommend what meds might work best for you. My psychiatrist and I settled on Campral since the side effects are minimal. It isn't mood altering and it doesn't make you sleepy or feel "out of it." And, it's a drug you can start and stop pretty much at will - no tapering necessary. In fact, at first, I doubted it was doing anything, but I haven't craved a drink with only one exception (the day of my dad's funeral this week) in over 10 days, and I've noticed other compulsive behaviors have stopped as well. The only down side is even with insurance, it is $$$. I think I am going to order my refill from the Canadian pharmacy that frequently advertises here on MWO.
        In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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          #5
          filled with fear

          I am also on Campral and I have to say it has been a godsend. I am almost at 28 days and feel like a new person. I take 1 pill 3X a day as well as 1 Lexipro (anti-depressant) a day. I had been abusing for many many years and couldn't even imagine how I could stop. I honestly do not even feel cravings - I know it is still early but I never want to go back to the way I used to feel.

          Good luck!

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            #6
            filled with fear

            KJ

            Hi, welcome.

            I'm not on the same drug as you, but have been exactly where you are.

            Take care. will track your progress on here.

            We just gotta do whatever works for us.

            Lea:welcome:
            Today, I will live one day at a time and do one thing at a time

            It was obvious from a very early age that my mind and I were not going to get on. Kay Redfield Jameson

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              #7
              filled with fear

              Alky;1501207 wrote: I think I am going to order my refill from the Canadian pharmacy that frequently advertises here on MWO.
              I am Canadian and was not aware a Canadian pharmacy was advertises here. Can you give me their name please?
              Tipplerette

              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
              ? Lao-Tzu

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                #8
                filled with fear

                Hello & welcome Kay_jay

                Glad you found us & decided to join in on this journey. You are doing great with 15 AF days!
                The longer you are AF the more confident you will feel. I was pretty scared myself when I first arrived.

                Please feel free to drop in the Newbies Nest thread for ongoing support
                Wishing you the best!

                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment

                  #9
                  filled with fear

                  welcome kay jay! that is great news. I am almost 42 and drank heavily for about 10 years as well..you can do this, and i'm glad you have the help of campral!

                  peace
                  10-06-2012

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                    #10
                    filled with fear

                    ??
                    On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                    *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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                      #11
                      filled with fear

                      Alky;1501202 wrote: Hi Kay_jay, congratulations on the 15 days. I'm on day 11 myself, also with the aid of Campral. The effect is subtle, but the stuff really works!
                      I totally agree about campral being subtle, the quiet achiever it is, in that you don't feel it like a 'working drug', yet it has totally stopped my craving for AL, and with the support of family and my own will power I know I will stay sober. Congrats on your progress!!
                      :new:

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                        #12
                        filled with fear

                        Tipplerette;1501366 wrote: I am Canadian and was not aware a Canadian pharmacy was advertises here. Can you give me their name please?
                        Hi Tipplerette, the pharmacy is called River Pharmacy and they are based out of Winnipeg. For those of us that mail-order prescriptions from the USA, it is often difficult to tell which are the legitimate operations and which are frauds, but several MWOers have vouched for this business. Their advertising banner frequently appears across the MWO forums homepage.

                        http://www.riverpharmacy.ca
                        In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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