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    Lost of a loved one

    Friday I lost my special feline friend, Phineas. It was completely unexpected and I am filled with questions and sadness. Needless to say I haven't been coping well. I've been coasting by the couple days and evenings, drinking to forget my complete sadness.

    I know it sounds trivial but he really was my best friend. He followed me wherever I went. We even had this way of communicating to each other. He was 5 and he was far too young.

    Thanks for hearing me out.

    Phin

    #2
    Lost of a loved one

    Oh Phin
    I am so sorry. Many of us here have been devestated by the loss of a pet. You know booze won't help...it wll only make you more depressed.
    My cat, Lucky, is the the center of the universe for my kids, and we would ve lost wothout him.
    I am so, so sorry
    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
    Live in the Solution....not the problem

    Comment


      #3
      Lost of a loved one

      I'm so sorry for your loss. It is not trivial at all, our pets are our family. But drinking does not help, in fact it makes us dwell in a very scary place.
      I'm glad you came here and posted. Dump out the booze and go find some beautiful flowers to plant on your kitty's grave.
      Day 1 again 11/5/19
      Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
      Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
      Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
      11/27/19: messed up but back on track
      12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

      One day at a time.

      Comment


        #4
        Lost of a loved one

        So sotty, for your loss

        Dear Phin;

        There is nothing remotely trivial about the death of your beloved pet.

        I, too have had and lost pets. Every one was part of the family and much loved. I was devastated at their loss. I would cry for for days. Now I can look back fondly at the part that each of them played in my life and what they meant to me. I can laugh at the daft things they did and what tthey meant to me.

        Mostly it was their unconditional love and acceptance and their companionship. If you have lots of love to give you may be able to eventually maybe find another pet to love. Not to take the place of your pet, that won;t ever happen. But just to love another fellow creature in need. There's lots of animals that have been treated cruelly and need caring for. It might be worth a thought, rather than put your energy into self destructiion you could put it to finding a needy recipiant for all that love you have to give. You could lavish care on an animal in distress and by doing so help yourself overcome your grief.

        Take care

        Lea:l
        Today, I will live one day at a time and do one thing at a time

        It was obvious from a very early age that my mind and I were not going to get on. Kay Redfield Jameson

        Comment


          #5
          Lost of a loved one

          Excellent post, Buddahbelly, that just might be the healing helper. So sorry for your loss, Phin. I know it's hard. Try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and dedicate your sobriety to the memory of your best friend... try to love yourself the way you've been loved by your pet. Hope you feel better soon. Time heals; not easy to hear, but it's the truth.

          xx
          Tipplerette

          I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

          "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
          ? Lao-Tzu

          Comment


            #6
            Lost of a loved one

            Very sorry. I know how difficult the loss of a beloved pet can be.
            Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

            Comment


              #7
              Lost of a loved one

              phin
              I know how you feel. been there many times myself. Pets are more than animals. They are unconditional love. Even when you hate yourself they never stop loving you. I am so sorry.
              Please don't drink. It won't take away the pain. You will only feel bad about yourself as well as missing your best friend
              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

              Comment


                #8
                Lost of a loved one

                I am so very sorry for your loss, Phin. We lost two beloved dogs within five months, and it was devastating. I completely agree with Buddabelly's post about finding another animal to love. He/she will never replace your lost kitty, but it does help you to heal when you have another pet to focus on. Easier said than done, I know, but when you have a little time, you may want to do this.

                Drinking really does make it so much worse, but you know that, too. Take care of yourself.

                :lTDN
                "One day at a time."

                Comment


                  #9
                  Lost of a loved one

                  So very sorry Phin, definitely not a trivial loss, take care.
                  AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Lost of a loved one

                    Our pets often hold our feelings for certain stages in our lives. I lost a dog when she was still young but she represented a new beginning in my life and I cried daily for a month, made picture collages of her which I treasure.

                    I am still a little sad over her and always will be but have other pets now who need me and give me that unconditional love.

                    As others say, don't try and drink it away, the real grieving will still have to be done sober. :l

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Lost of a loved one

                      Phin, Thinking of you. They are wonderful friends. I have 2 at the moment,one is 19 and the other 14. They give me unconditional love. I can,t imagine what it would be like with out a cat in my life. I once had one that was 21 when she died. Thinking of you.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Lost of a loved one

                        Thanks everyone. It definately takes some getting used to not having him around. I have another cat and a Golden but Phin was my fav. I shouldn't have favorites but I did.

                        The weekend was an awful one filled with tins of drinking. Today, I'm sitting at work loathing myself as always. I think something has clicked. I don't want to do this anymore. I look terrible and I feel worse!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Lost of a loved one

                          Foirgive

                          Please forgive yourself Phin.

                          You are in horrible pain because of your loss. You did what WE do when we can't stand being in our heads another minute. Let yourself grieve. I'm sending you a cyber hug. :l:l:l

                          Lea
                          Today, I will live one day at a time and do one thing at a time

                          It was obvious from a very early age that my mind and I were not going to get on. Kay Redfield Jameson

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Lost of a loved one

                            Dear Phin,
                            When we lost our dog a couple of years ago, I was devastated. The only comfort I could find in all of it was to think how fortunate I am to have loved another being so much that her departure could rip a hole in my heart. Not everyone experiences such love of another being.

                            The thing I love about animals is they don't experience life through the filter of alcohol. Everything is so authentic for them.

                            Please stop the drink and start to experience and perhaps even embrace the pain that comes from knowing you have loved strongly and passionately.
                            Free at Last
                            "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                            Highly recommend this video
                            http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                            July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Lost of a loved one

                              So sorry Phin

                              So sorry for your loss. Our pets are family for sure!

                              All sorts of things are going to happen that will be a "reason" to drink. It's just life.

                              I hate that you are at work suffering from the results of drinking. I hate that feeling!

                              SO...get back on the horse and take life as it comes. It gets easier.

                              Comment

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