Frustrated

[Miley]

Not sure what is going on with me today but for some reason I am feeling very frustrated with all of this.

I'm sick and tired of thinking about not drinking, drinking and the whole darn thing. I just wish I could flip a switch and just never want to drink again. I sure hope this gets easier with time.

[Kradle123]

Frustrated

Hi Miley,

Ive been her for a bit and From what I understand (lots if reading and posting) it does get easier and I myself have had whole sections of not thinking or caring anymore but then I run a road block as I did this weekend...seems to be a back and forth process for awhile and of course that while will be different for each of us.

Still we're all in this together.:l

[Alky]

Frustrated

Hi Miley, are you on any kind of meds? While it's not quite as easy as "flipping a switch," meds and a motivation to stay abstinent has worked wonders for me. And yes, I think it will get easier with time, as you figure out ways to occupy the time you otherwise would have spent drinking.

[Miley]

Frustrated

Kradle and Alky...thanks for the response. It's good to know I'm not alone. Alky....what kind of meds are you taking?

[Alky]

Frustrated

Hi Miley, I'm on campral, which is an anti-craving medication that restores normal, non-alcoholic brain chemistry. Many MWOers take baclofen, which is actually a muscle relaxant but is finding acceptance in the treatment of alcoholism, or antabuse, which makes you acutely ill if you drink, thereby providing motivation for abstinence. These are only a few of the available options. I encourage you to look through the meds forum and speak with a doctor or psychiatrist so that the two of you can determine together which therapy would be most effective for you.

[NoSugar]

Frustrated

Miley;1502063 wrote:
I'm sick and tired of thinking about not drinking, drinking and the whole darn thing. I just wish I could flip a switch and just never want to drink again. I sure hope this gets easier with time.

This sentiment has appeared in many posts lately, including some of mine! And although it remains true that I wish I were like people ahead of me who don't have it at on their minds all the time, it occurred to me that I used to spend an enormous amount of my day thinking about when I could drink, how I could keep the volume secret, where I should buy it, etc. Plus I spent a lot of time in the past couple years thinking about how I should quit, how could I accomplish that, etc. and then more hours were lost thinking about how bad and hopeless I was when I failed. So, even with what seems like a great deal of time spent thinking about not drinking, I think I'm still ahead of where I was on that front. Plus, I'm no longer beating myself up.

:h NS

[Struggles 106]

Frustrated

Hey Miley

It does get tiresome doesn't it? Constantly thinking about it, all different aspects of it.

BUT it really does get easier-no kidding. No magic switch to flip unfortunately.

Lots of people here will have different ideas. Staying busy is always good. And of course checking in here is always good. Frustration is part of the deal.

I find that actually writing about past episodes helps me remember how awful it all was. Once you start writing it down and typically cringe at what you wrote it really helps to reinforce that you do not want to go there.

Don't know how bad your drinking past was but mine was terrible so I don't have to write very long to come up with a humdinger. THen I say NO THANKS.

Take care

[Miley]

Frustrated

Thanks NS.....I needed that!
Ann.....I like the idea about writing about past episodes. I could write a book....lol!
I feel better tonight. I was just in a bad place this morning and it really helped to come here and be honest about how I was feeling.

[Byrdlady]

Frustrated

Hey Miley....the Mind Chatter sure gets old. While there is no switch to flip, adjusting your thinking works wonders. You can't change the wind but you can adjust your sails.... I think that's how the saying goes... I saw on the news yesterday a Georgia girl that contracted a flesh eating bacteria and they had to amputate her hands and most of her legs to save her life. Can you imagine being dealt that card? Or our veterans who come back with missing limbs and images in their heads they can't erase. On the scale of what COULD be wrong with us, this one ain't so bad!!! This thing we have has a cure!! So I try to count my blessings when I have a 'spell' that feels like I'm sick to death of this whole thing....because things could be a lot worse! Not being able to drink sucks sometimes...but being sober is so much better than the downward spiral of Alcohell. The occasional inconvenience is a small price to pay for 'being normal' again! And like everyone says, it takes time to get there! Byrdie

[jenniech]

Frustrated

ahhh miley
I am RIGHT THERE with you......but I am afraid that if I don't turn off the switch (even if that were remotely possible) I would end up leaving MWO and my AA meetings and that would inevitably lead to just one thing.....me drinking again.
So, yes, it sucks the big gigantic one but it IS better than drinking and being hungover and all that goes with that, don't you think?

[kuya]

Frustrated

We accept time as a factor in everything else in life.

My daughter took five years to become a competent dancer, I took five years to become a qualified veterinarian.

It took me 4-6 months to stop obsessing about alcohol.......not bad really

Patience, patience......read and post, read and post.

[NoSugar]

Frustrated

kuya;1502251 wrote: We accept time as a factor in everything else in life.
My daughter took five years to become a competent dancer, I took five years to become a qualified veterinarian.
It took me 4-6 months to stop obsessing about alcohol.......not bad really
Patience, patience......read and post, read and post.

You sound like the Wise Old Owl in Winnie the Pooh, Kuya, and although I know we're the same age, I'm feeling like Piglet :H ! (But at least not Eeyore!). :h NS

PS: Thanks for the wise words .

[kuya]

Frustrated

As Lav pointed out on another thread, the change in seasons unsettles people. In the northern hemisphere you are heading into spring, longer warmer days that are triggers for .......'ah. A nice cold beer or glass of wine'

STOP! Didn't you waste those precious extra hours of daylight drunk or hung over last summer?

I am in autumn here and quit on the first day of spring last year. The summer was awesome, I swam, walked, went to the gym, ate amazingly and spent a lot of time at parties and with my family. I am now ready for winter, warm fires, comfort food, early nights, rest and recuperation.

Everything comes down to attitude. This is a new skill we are all learning, enjoy it and share the knowledge because, for sure, there are a lot who need someone to teach them. :h

[kuya]

Frustrated

As Lav pointed out on another thread, the change in seasons unsettles people. In the northern hemisphere you are heading into spring, longer warmer days that are triggers for .......'ah. A nice cold beer or glass of wine'

STOP! Didn't you waste those precious extra hours of daylight drunk or hung over last summer?

I am in autumn here and quit on the first day of spring last year. The summer was awesome, I swam, walked, went to the gym, ate amazingly and spent a lot of time at parties and with my family. I am now ready for winter, warm fires, comfort food, early nights, rest and recuperation.

Everything comes down to attitude. This is a new skill we are all learning, enjoy it and share the knowledge because, for sure, there are a lot who need someone to teach them. :h

[Miley]

Frustrated

Thanks to all for the wise words.....they really helped with a much needed attitude adjustment!
NS - I guess I did sound like eeyore yesterday!

Anyway.....today is much better than yesterday. I had to take my Husband to the ER this morning and while we were there, I was looking around at all of the REALLY sick people and thought to myself....if being alcohol dependant is the worst thing I have right now, I will take it. At least I can do something about it! Also, I must say that being totally there this morning, instead of dealing with a hangover, really came in handy during what could have been an emergency situation. I am so thankful that I was fully present.