Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What kind of Mom am I?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    What kind of Mom am I?

    I all but admitted in a candid conversation to my 2 oldest kids that I thought I had a drinking problem. Of course this happened while I was drinking. Why would I ever do that? They are far too young for a conversation like that.

    So here I sit, again, at work, full of self hatred, feeling like a bag of sh$t, and all the while pulling off a smile.

    Unreal.
    Tags: None
    #2
    What kind of Mom am I?

    Phin, I know you are a good mum. I am a good dad and still am. Raised my kids, all university educated and still there for them. I can tell you will allways be there for your kids. Don,t be to hard on yourself. We are good people, just alcoholics. Please PM me if you want:l:l

    Comment

      #3
      What kind of Mom am I?

      Phin
      Please don't beat yourself up! Last summer I hit a new bottom when my 12 year old got annoyed with me about something (of course I have no memory of what) and he shouted out "mom, you're drunk!!" Of course, I was totally drunk but hearing him shout that at me in total frustration really hit a chord. It was also at our friends house in front of everyone, adults and children both. Well, anyway, my point is, I wasn't able to "fix" the situation, I couldn't turn back the clock and make it not happen, but I could do one thing to make sure it never happened again and that was to STOP. It didn't happen overnight, but I am working hard to remain AF so this never happens again. I want my kids to be proud of me, not to think of me as someone who is an alcoholic who can't control my drinking. I grew up with one of those and it was no picnic.

      So, again, please don't beat yourself up. Gather your courage and use this experience as one of your tools to STOP. Your kids don't need to be told what you are doing. Just do it and they will see. And believe me, they will be so proud you!.:h
      I just won't anymore

      Comment

        #4
        What kind of Mom am I?

        phin
        i just saw your other thread after I posted above. PLEASE be kind and gentle with yourself.
        Love yourself as much as you love your children and your lost loved one. You deserve it. You are going through a very difficult time ....
        I just won't anymore

        Comment

          #5
          What kind of Mom am I?

          I agree with Jennie, Phin. Yes, you may have shared this with your kids and now regret it. But you can't unring that bell. So shake it off and show them that adults own up to their flaws and try to fix them, rather than hide them. You have an opportunity to be a good role model for them in this lesson, but only if you stop drinking.
          Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

          Comment

            #6
            What kind of Mom am I?

            Jenn, Thanks for your words of wisdom!! I am really struggling! Thank You. :l:l

            Comment

              #7
              What kind of Mom am I?

              Dear Phin,

              Please be kind to yourself. telling your kids that you have a problem is a damn site better than telling them there is nothing wrong, when they KNOW there is. Being honest with them is the wisest thing you can do. They will be so proud of you and support you. Please don't reproach yourself. You love them and as long as they know that they will be there for you.
              My children are older now. I think that they realise I'm not making a choice between them and alcohol. I adore them but I just can't live in own head . If I could I would.

              Ba kind to your self.
              Today, I will live one day at a time and do one thing at a time

              It was obvious from a very early age that my mind and I were not going to get on. Kay Redfield Jameson

              Comment

                #8
                What kind of Mom am I?

                Phin, I totally understand. The guilt of being a mom that drinks too much can be crushing at times. Once, I told my 7 year old that I wasn't going to drink wine anymore because it makes me feel bad. A few weeks later when we were at the store she asked why I was buying wine, ugh! I cringe from memories.
                We can not change the past but we can put a stop to this madness and begin again.
                I'm only on day two (again). Lets do this together and be the parent our children deserve.

                Comment

                  #9
                  What kind of Mom am I?

                  I feel the same

                  Phin;1502814 wrote: I all but admitted in a candid conversation to my 2 oldest kids that I thought I had a drinking problem. Of course this happened while I was drinking. Why would I ever do that? They are far too young for a conversation like that.

                  So here I sit, again, at work, full of self hatred, feeling like a bag of sh$t, and all the while pulling off a smile.

                  Unreal.
                  Boy, your post really hit me hard. I have one 10 year old and he is well aware that my drinking is an issue (has heard his Dad and I speaking privately about it). I am SO ashamed of myself and feel like I am failing constantly as a parent. But, I am TRYING, I truly am trying to be better and maybe in some way, some day, my struggle will some how help him - or at least help him to be kind and forgiving of the imperfectness of others. I beat myself up daily about my drinking and how it impacts my ability to parent :upset: but this is where I have found myself and all I can do is try, try and try some more to get things right. As well, I am at work pretending that everything in my life is OK :H

                  Comment

                    #10
                    What kind of Mom am I?

                    Phin-
                    I did the same thing. It's not fair to "unload" on the kid, but when we're drinking, we are not thinking straight. I have since had many sober conversations with my daughter about the reality of my drinking. She KNEW the whole time, we think we are so slick and hiding it from them, but we're not. She also knows now how much I've changed, what a struggle it's been, and that I am winning the battle. We're only human, and I think our kids need to realize that. Nobody is perfect, even their parents.

                    Keep up the fight...it's SOOOO worth it!

                    K9
                    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      What kind of Mom am I?

                      K9 , I've mentined in other posts that I always look to your I love my daughter more than alcohol heading when I am having any doubts about leading an AF free life......

                      Phin, We've all made mistakes as parents, many, many mistakes, but we have the ability to make sure that we choose a path that will allow for a better future for our kids, that's why many of us have searched out the MWO, to help us enusre that our future will be successful, that we will be able to have an AF life, a life our kids deserve from their parents...
                      On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

                      Comment

                        #12
                        What kind of Mom am I?

                        I stopped drinking because I never want my children to have to live through what I endured with my father. The mere fact that you came on to MWO to post how you feel about what you said to them tells me you feel the same way as me in terms of what kind of parent you are capable of being. If I can do it, you can too!
                        I just won't anymore

                        Comment

                          #13
                          What kind of Mom am I?

                          Hello Phin, Just popped into say Hi and ask how you are doing? Started AB today. Its a brutle drug but in my case,probably the only hope I have.Tried everthing else. Hope things are a bit brighter for you today.:l

                          Comment

                          Previous template Next
                          Working...
                          X