What does the road ahead of you look like?

[allankay]

Evening MWOs,

I have not created a thread in a while and just wanted to share my thoughts with you.

When I first started here just over 8 months ago I was welcomed with kind words and supportive messages. I really did not know what to expect and to be honest I had very little confidence in my will power. I remember looking at K9's (I think she was the first to welcome me to this site) day count and feeling like an ant looking at the top of a mountain.

Days eventually started to add up. So I went from 1/250th, 1/100th, 1/10 and now 1/2 of her day count. It is quite empowering to think of your progress in terms of fractions.

Noticeable changes that I would like to mention :

1) I no longer feel obliged to answer this question - "why do you not drink?". This was a greatly feared question for me at the start and I bet people noticed my unease.

2) I developed a new routine for Friday and Saturday nights. I think this is quite important. One of the main reasons why I drunk on those days was because I did not know what else to do. I know that it is a problem for many. Eventually you will find a new routine, trust me!

3) Weekends now feel like a mini vacation. Whereas before I used to dread Mondays and felt absolutely shattered after a weekend.

4) I enjoy my meals now. I used to rush through majority of my meals to get to drinking. Now I can go to a restaurant and really savour my food.

5) I have new friends. There are people that do not accept my new lifestyle and feel that their fun was being under attack. I never judge or criticise others for drinking but there is a stigma attached to sober people. This is fine, because when you give up booze, you start to notice how crude, annoying and dangerous drunk company is.

I hope you share your thoughts, observations and new habits that you have since giving up drinking.

Allan

[Alky]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

The seven minute mile is quite impressive. My best mile and 5k so far are 8:34 and 27:12, respectively. I did meet my goal in finishing a half marathon in 2:30, making me eligible for a corral if and when I decide to run one again.

Before I relapsed, I was really into fitness - running and strength training. I hardly ate while I drank, so I lost a lot of muscle. It's back to square one and painful post-workout soreness.

I have a colleague and friend at work who is a complete teetotaler. I've been "studying" his life, you could say, because he has no shortage of excitement and fun and his life. But alcohol is just completely irrelevant to his life. I'm only two weeks in right now, but that is my goal - to make alcohol irrelevant to my life. It helps that this time I got a boost from meds (campral) because this is about the point where I'd cave, and I'm nowhere near caving this time.

Anyway, congratulations on your accomplishment and best wishes toward continued success in your goals.

[kronkcarr]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

allankay,

This is a great topic. Thanks for starting this thread.

I started baclofen in mid December last year. I don't know if my drinking was due to how I was nurtured, genetics or habit, but my first full day on baclofen I knew my brain was getting something essential that had been lacking my entire life.

Anxiety--I no longer feel it. I'm able to say how I feel easily and to decide what I want to do and do it without explaining why.

Friends--Most of my friends have remained and those that haven't were ones I was having trouble with. Relationships are more meaningful to me.

Home--My home and yard look great. As opposed to just being functional my home is somewhere I love to be now.

$$--I have more $$ now. I'm amazed at what I spent on AL. Plus I make better decisions about how I spend my $$.

Dating--I don't fall for the type of guys I used to try to rescue. Actually I haven't fallen for any guys since I started this journey and that's fine with me.

Emotions--I have more pleasant emotions instead of my 2 old emotions of anger and sarcasm.

All in all it's a beautiful world.

Alky, I think you're brilliant. What a great way to learn! It sounds like your colleague and friend sets a good example.

[allankay]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

Kronkacarr,

I like your comment about dating. No more drunken hook ups, thank GOD!

Alky,

how long were you sober before relapse? Keep it up fitness is a cheap high, love it!

Allan

[Byrdlady]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

AK, this is a great topic.
My hubs says I am a different person now than I was 2 and a half years ago. I guess when you come to the edge of losing everything, you appreciate it all the more. I fought hard to be where I am now, and I'll be damned if I'm going back!
No more lies about how much I've had to drink.
No stashing empties in an ottoman and racing like a crazy person to dump them when an opportunity arose.
The guilt, shame and remorse are gone.
No dashes to the grocery store every other day to pick up some bread or feminine hygiene article that I knew HE wouldn't want to buy.
No more scheduling flights thru certain airports because they had a wine shop in the concourse.
I've lost 13 pounds with no effort! I can eat what I want to!
My senses are keener. Food tastes better...
I have TIME and interest in my home and hobbies.
I can remember conversations I had after 7 pm.
I have self esteem and I am proud of what I've done.
I wouldn't touch a drop of AL for all the tea in China. It's not worth it. I hate AL for what it did to me and it has done to my friends here.
I have faced personal hardship with the loss of my dad in January, and NOT once did I consider turning to AL to escape.
I can make decisions now and they are good....based on having more information because I retain it now.
Al is no longer in control of my thoughts or actions....and THAT was the goal!!
2 wishes: I wish I could fast forward this feeling for all the Newbies...to show them that it really IS worth it. #2, I wish I had done it sooner.
It IS worth fighting those cravings and the peer pressure for this feeling of MindPeace. It only comes with time....and you cannot rush it (try as I might).
The road ahead looks considerably better than the one I had traveled!

Has it always been easy? No, it hasn't. Has it been worth it? Absolutely!!! Byrdie

[jenniech]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

When I go to a nice restaurant, I remember what I ate!!

I can't tell you how many times I went to fancy expensive restaurants for work dinners and not only did I not remember what I ate, I didn't even remember the act of eating.....and these were work functions!!!! (needless to say, the industry I am in is VERY much geared for those who like to drink A LOT....I was never alone in my drunken stupidity at these functions.)
I am so glad those days are over.

[Struggles 106]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

After some thought...

Actually everything is better but I tend to notice the subtle things.
Like little nuances of behavior. Not being so defensive, which I think stems from the knowledge that your behavior has been reprehensible and people might see you for who you really are. Which , to me, when drinking not a good person at all.

When your mind and conscience are clear it's much easier to move through the days with grace and grit and dignity. As opposed to constantly second guessing every damn thing.

Also-the priceless knowledge that when you go somewhere you will certainly not be driving drunk, and the goals of the next day will not be compromised by feeling like hammered shit and doing nothing.

[jenniech]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

ann carolina....so so so so so true!!!

[hadit]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

You Guys are so inspirational ! Well done to all of you. One day I want to be there A/F,never to drink again!! I started AB today so will be reading as many posts as I can over the next few weeks to gain inspiration!! I have had enough of drinking.It has taken so much from me.It killed my best friend a few years ago. In this country booze is everywhere. We don,t need an excuse to drink, you are the odd one out if you don,t!!! I don,t like what I see it doing to our kids and society in general . I don,t want to part of it anymore! Thanks for listing to my rant!! F.....K YOU wine!! NO more! :damn::l

[199days]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

24M 5k thats Good ! Now this is one of my goals

Think Ive turned into a smug Non drinker because I pity people that still have to drink, is it bad to feel like this ? As above I find being around drunk people now the most boring thing in the world.

Have a great week all.

[Mootsbill]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

Too many to mention,
1. Waking each morning clear headed, not always bright as I have a young family ;0)
2. No searing anxiety, shame, regret
3. Never having to apologise to my husband for letting him down
4. Feeling fitter, slimmer, calmer
5. Reading books, watching films and remembering them
6. My evenings and weekends are soooooo lovely and long
7. Peace of mind and feeling safe.
My road ahead looks good, I shall continue to train and further my career in fitness and nutrition. I shall enjoy long weekends with my family and friends. I shall relish my 2 hour hot yoga class in a Friday evening (I would usually be well on my way)
I love having clarity and vision in my life
Also after years of anti depressents I am managing to reduce my dose yippee
I shall continue to enjoy my obsession with tea! Pg tips, redbush, green tea, chai latte you name it's in my cupboard ;0) for a friends birthday we went to a beautiful hotel for afternoon tea, 6 girls, tea, cake and not a drop of al in sight, it was truly lovely.
Great post x

[kuya]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

199days;1503622 wrote: 24M 5k thats Good ! Now this is one of my goals

Think Ive turned into a smug Non drinker because I pity people that still have to drink, is it bad to feel like this ? As above I find being around drunk people now the most boring thing in the world.

Have a great week all.

I just feel relief! But yes, drunk people are sooooo boring.

I love looking forward to events rather than wishing them over so I can come home and drink.
I love not feeling tired all the time.......this was so hard at the beginning when I actually felt MORE tired.
I love making more changes to my life, getting fit, quitting smoking, losing weight, spending more time on grooming and looking good, my house being clean (er)

[Lizann]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

Found some inspiration and encouragement in the comments above. I have been AF for sixty six days now. I think about it everyday and wonder if I am ever going to get past this. Just taking it one day at a time!

Lizann

[kuya]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

Lizann;1504837 wrote: Found some inspiration and encouragement in the comments above. I have been AF for sixty six days now. I think about it everyday and wonder if I am ever going to get past this. Just taking it one day at a time!

Lizann

That passes Lizann, I never think about alcohol in the 'wanting it' way anymore. I also don't try to NOT think about it either.

BTW sixty days is awesome. Keep on trucking, it gets better and easier.

[pixie]

What does the road ahead of you look like?

Lizann, I second what Kuya said, it does get easier, and you will think about it less and less until not at all. I think I was around 90 days or so when it started feeling completely normal.

As to what positive changes I've experienced, a big one for me is being able to tell co-workers what I really did over the weekend, instead of having to make stuff up because all I did was drink and then lay around hungover.