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How it feels to hit day 151

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    How it feels to hit day 151

    Firstly thank you one and all for the kind words of support and encouragement, not just yesterday but each and every day I've been coming to this forum. It will be five months by the calendar tomorrow. I am frankly amazed I've made it this far.

    I made the decision I had to quit over a very unhappy and scary Sunday early last December. I'd had a major row with my partner who had reached the end of his patience with my drinking and all the crap it brought with it. Not only were my mood swings intolerable but bills weren't paid, the home wasn't being cared for, money was haemhorraging out of our joint account. I was awkward, forgetful and frankly a mess. But I didn't have a problem, oh no not me. It was somebody else's fault I 'forgot' to pay the council tax, or maybe 'accidentally' missed the date the gas bill was due.

    So now I can say it feels absolutely amazing to be free of it all for so long. In a relatively short time my life is on track; my finances are on the mend and so is my relationship. I've gained a promotion at work and a substantial pay rise. My blood pressure is normal, still working on the weight!

    Social situations? I was always known as Sylv who loved a drink, well I still do, but not an alcoholic one thank you. If I'm asked if I'd like one I reply honestly that I would absolutely love a glass of wine but sadly it no longer likes me, so thanks but no thanks. This position is non-negotiable and will always be.

    As well as amazing I feel free, free of booze induced debt, free of the fear I will be pulled by the police the morning after, free of fear I'd do something I'd really regret. God knows I've done loads I'm ashamed of, things I prefer not to think or talk about but something serious such as injuring somebody with the hateful temper I have in drink.

    Places like Weight Watchers say nothing tastes as good as slim, well for those of us who've lost (or maybe never had) the off switch, nothing feels as good as waking up in a morning without a hangover and with a memory.

    For those of you starting this battle, stick with it. Many people on here are far wiser and more experienced than me but it is the second most worthwhile thing I've done in my life, the first was adopting my two (now adult) children.

    Sylv
    AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

    #2
    How it feels to hit day 151

    This is lovely and inspiring to hear Sylv

    Well done and congratulations to you :wd:

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      #3
      How it feels to hit day 151

      Sylv,Well done.You are amazing! It must be wonderful being a/f for such a long period of time. Keep it up.Starting Ab today!

      Comment


        #4
        How it feels to hit day 151

        Awesome post, and absolutey awesome job Sylv, (which is a much prettier name than Spiderwoman btw.) :H

        :thanks: for helping us newbies keep on track.

        kambob
        Remember: A craving will never last as long as a hangover, and you'll never wake up wishing you'd drank the night before. (Thank you K9Lover)

        Comment


          #5
          How it feels to hit day 151

          Wow! What an amazing woman and post! Well done, Sylv! Here's to a lifetime of sobriety! XO, Byrdie
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
          Tool Box
          Newbie's Nest

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            #6
            How it feels to hit day 151

            I want to be YOU
            I just won't anymore

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              #7
              How it feels to hit day 151

              An moving post Sylv, so happy to share this journey with you. :h

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                #8
                How it feels to hit day 151

                Beautiful post, Sylv. So refreshing to read your thoughts!
                "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
                AF 11/12/11

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                  #9
                  How it feels to hit day 151

                  You sound awesome Sylv, so many positives in your life now. You're the perfect example of an attitude of gratitude, and all the good that comes with it.
                  AF since 6JUN2012

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                    #10
                    How it feels to hit day 151

                    You've got it Sylv. Living it and, by the sounds of things, loving it!!

                    Awesome job, and you should be really pleased with YOURSELF.

                    Bravo to YOU!!!
                    It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                    Mother Theresa

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                      #11
                      How it feels to hit day 151

                      Wonderful post, Sylv. Thank you.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        How it feels to hit day 151

                        Sylv, thanks for sharing. Whenever there is a post titled Life After Drink ... or anything that seems to indicate a sharing of the good life that abstinence brings I always read it hoping for inspiration. Your post brought tears to my eyes and was very encouraging. You should be so proud of yourself. Quitting drinking is one of the hardest things we'll ever do but the most rewarding also and you are living proof of that.

                        Amazing story.
                        Tipplerette

                        I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                        "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                        ? Lao-Tzu

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                          #13
                          How it feels to hit day 151

                          You are an inspiration Sylv! I want to be you too!! Well done for reclaiming your life and making such success of the new sober you!! :goodjob:
                          Never put off to tomorrow what you can achieve today!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            How it feels to hit day 151

                            Congrats on your 5 months!! You are definitely an inspiration to me and so many others who look forward to getting to where you are. Thank you for posting.
                            AF since 3/12/13.


                            Completed over a year AF and fell off the wagon.
                            Back to it, new day 1= 7/1/14


                            I'm on my way.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              How it feels to hit day 151

                              Thank you everybody. I remember all too clearly how scary it was at the very beginning. I didn't so much wonder if I could do it but how my life would be if I managed to keep going and try and remodel my life. My best friend told me I would be boring, well if this is boring I'm happy to be a bore. My life is so full now - what was a chore, little things like walking my dog are a pleasure. Before quitting they were a nuisance, got in the way of my evening with the vino - the high or hit lasted only briefly and was sharply followed by the guilt of knowing that more often than not I'd taken cash that was destined to do other things, I'd robbed my dog of my time and care. Neglected friends and family (all except my drinking pal) just so we could get to the shop, buy as much wine as we could afford, get back to one or the other's house and get hammered before one or the other of us fell into a taxi to get home. I was never robbed or worse, that being solely due to the integrity of the local taxi company, certainly not due to my behaviour.

                              I dont think I'm particularly special but I am very bloody minded and had to throw all of that attitude into the quit. I am selfish so I turned that around and made it all about not having that first drink and to quote Byrdy - rinse and repeat. Then do it again tomorrow and the day after that, until it becomes a way of life.

                              I came by the name of spiderwoman the night I joined here. My partner who was extremely angry with me was in the same room when I was joining the site and couldn't come up with a user name. I didn't want to use I used elsewhere until I got to know the site and he suggested that suggesting I wouldn't be here long anyway.

                              To a great extent I am still discovering who I really am; when my husband of 31 years died I left the hospital and bought 2 bottles of gin, drank the lot that day and it carried on. Somehow I hauled myself back into the work place and held down a job but how much easier it would have all been if I'd been sober.

                              There will always be a reason not to quit (very like dieting or embarking on a healthier living regime), somebody's birthday, a wedding or a holiday and society today puts so much pressure on people to believe that without alcohol there is no fun and deprivation. This is so totally wrong, the deprivation and misery occurs when there is alcohol involved; you deprive yourself of your self respect, personal safety and happiness.

                              Its a bit of a long lonely job at first but like the other people who've been here longer than me, I now truly "get" why I've done it and am truly grateful my partner is a life-long abstainer and neither of my sons drink to excess, being brought up by me God alone knows how that happened.

                              To anybody who suggests it can be done without back-up in whatever form that takes, they are probably not addicted to anything or more likely are addicted but haven't yet found the need to stop - yet!

                              This is probably the most honest I've been anywhere about giving up - if it helps just one of you stop for a day then its well worth writing about it
                              AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

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