New to forums, starting a taper

[woody13]

Hello everyone,

Newbie here, but unfortunately "experienced" in a bad way elsewhere.

I am on the eve of day 2 of a taper now. I have only tried a taper once before and was not successful because I was not honest and did not have the knowledge as to how they really worked.

A little background, I have been in and out of the rooms in person and online for about 10 years. Been to a couple outpatients and a couple detoxes. I recently got out of a treatment facility that included detox for 22 days total. Did quite well the first week and then BAM.

Where I live the only openings are for places that do about 20 days to 6 months and I have to get back to work soon. That is what I just came out of as well, not to mention even with insurance it would get quite expensive. There are two detox only places but they are booked up for some time. I do have my other half with me and will go to the ER if need be.

It is not going "horrible" just yet, but the pulse and blood pressure are hard to control consistently and I might just have to do the ER visit if they do not make some progress soon. On a side note, I am in one of those areas where the ER's are basically useless for alcohol. I have done my share of reading the past 48 hours on tapering and have a pretty good idea of the goals and mindset and do not believe I am going too fast. I do have a history of high blood pressure and pulse and am on meds for them, so I know that is why mine can skyrocket from detoxing. Heck I even had it when I just detoxed on Valium a few weeks ago.

Today over all was better though with my pulse and blood pressure doing much better most of the day. Oh and the reason I mostly bring those symptoms is because those are my main concerns and my fall close to the "high" range, where if I even have any other symptoms they would fall in the "mild" range.

I don't know, I guess I'm just babbling here so don't mind me. We ate a late meal after I had all but one of my taper beers and all was well. A little bit ago my pulse crept over 100 (105) so I have been sipping on my last one. I will have to monitor it closely overnight, although I am usually ok on the pulse until the afternoon, then I know it is time to slowly sip on the beer.

I guess I am just writing to introduce myself, and I guess just to check in.

After I got out this last time I had 28 days and only have started back for four days, but the four days were pretty heavy. Morning until passout time. That is just an FYI to those wondering about needed to detox in some way again after a little drinking time. I came across on the Internet that if you drink just one day you will be fine, but 7 days and you will not be ok and need to detox. Well, depending on your level, 4 days is all I needed and I am back to at least my usual symptoms.

Also, I did notice today on day 2 after I had my first beer and then the next hour started my second it was pretty tough mentally to realize I only had "x" amount left for the day, and that tomorrow will be even less! Those thoughts went away after a few minutes though, so now just worried about the chest thumping for a while.

I have a couple of sips left and will recheck my vitals and hopefully sleep as well as last night.

Wishing everyone well!

[Alky]

New to forums, starting a taper

Hi Woody, how is your taper going?

[shelbysmiles]

New to forums, starting a taper

Woody, I don't know much about tapering but I wanted to welcome you and wish you well. I know there are some members here that have successfully tapered. Keep reading and posting.

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

Hello all!

So far, so so. I have never went above my limit yet, I think total this is day 4, maybe just the 3rd of actual reduction of alcohol??? Either way I have not been above my limit yet and will not tonight so that is good.

I will try to get on here tonight or tomorrow to post more, I just wasn't sure if I should keep adding to my thread.

The mental part is hitting me more today, knowing I am just about done and did not get plastered, plus knowing it will be less tomorrow. I just need to think of the positive things.

Lots of weird things going on with pulse and blood pressure, but so far only 2 scary moments yesterday where I was close to going to the ER, but other than the vitals not much else. I did not sleep great last night. I don't want to say I had the sweats or chills, but my body temperature changed a lot. This caused me to wake up often.

Again, I will give more details soon, especially on the vitals in great detail. It is quite interesting, almost like a game, but also scary at the same time. I have seen the same thing each time I went through detox and meds, but it is just weird seeing how much it can change for the better with just a single beer!

Oh, and I did start an hour later today because my vitals were good enough. I will report back soon

[jenniech]

New to forums, starting a taper

welcome woody and please keep posting!!!
BTW, my son's nickname is Woody.....I like it

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

Hello Jenniech, thank you and I'm very glad to be here! I'm going to try and wait for any long detailed updates until a couple of more days and I really see my vitals getting back to normal. My BP never got into danger level today which is good, but I also got a good tip from my Dr. a while back and started it yesterday when I had the brief scare of 169/111. I am already on BP medication, but I am on the lowest dose of benicar and they make a pill at least double the dose. He told me if I ever see it rise too high it is ok for me to take another one in the day since I am on the lowest amount. I did do that yesterday and today and have not seen anything alarming since my brief scare. But as I mentioned above I even saw that high of levels in my last detox at a hospital and they just gave me an extra Valium. I guess the best news I can say is the last three days when I wake up in the morning my BP is nearly perfect at around 117/78 and my pulse ranged from 76 to 84. It is just so strange to see it around noon, then around 2 or 3 p.m. They both get a little higher (A LOT HIGHER THAT FIRST DAY!). Today I was easily able to wait until 4:30 p.m. to start my taper and I could have waited longer. I hope it goes the same tomorrow because I will be way down from my usual levels tomorrow and will need to start sipping as late as possible.

Other than that, I had a question for anyone listening before I google it since I am already in the middle of this post. I can feel my heart beating, or racing, or chest pounding, whatever you want to call it. I have had this for many, many years (long and heavy drinker here). I was just never able to put 2 and 2 together. I just checked my vitals and my BP was decent and pulse was under 100 at 93. I'm starting to wonder if this may be what anxiety is and I've had it for years and never knew what it was??? Can that weird chest feeling of anxiety be unrelated to pulse???

Again, it's getting late for me and I'm just babbling if anyone happens to see this. I do know with my pulse under 100 that I am still in the good, it just baffles me having that feeling after times for all these years and if it turns out it was anxiety from withdrawal I should slap myself in the head And yes, I would only get that weird heart racing chest thumping feeling when coming off of alcohol. I just always thought it meant my pulse was at 120 or something and needed to drink! DOH!

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

And sorry for always rambling, but this posting does seem to help a lot! Hopefully I can complete this and get some good experience posted. I do have some opinions already about the taper vs inpatient detox, but will save them for a few more days to see how this goes.

[jenniech]

New to forums, starting a taper

Hi Woody
That is most definitely what anxiety feels like to me. I drank to squelch that feeling. Now, I am finding other ways to do it without drinking. The best part is, the anxiety levels have decreased significantly as the sober weeks have started stacking up.....
Best wishes on your taper today!! You sound very determined...:goodjob:

[Alky]

New to forums, starting a taper

Hi Woody, while I was drinking, my blood pressure fluctuated between 140-150/90-100. Yesterday, which was day 16 of no alcohol, it was 121/71. Things can only get better as AL leaves your system. Also, like jennie said, AL provides short term relief from anxiety, but only makes it worse in the end. In addition to the campral, my doc also has me on trazodone, which provides relief from anxiety and helps me sleep at night.

Just curious if you also keep track of your cholesterol and triglycerides. Mine were consistently elevated while I drank. In fact, my cholesterol was a whopping 278 at the peak of my drinking. I've managed to bring it down into the low 200s through a combination of abstinence, diet (I became a pescatarian - a vegetarian that eats fish) and resumption of regular exercise.

[Cinders]

New to forums, starting a taper

Woody,

I have had several, more than I can count actually, detoxes at home. I seldom tapered because my hubby simply would not let me. It was do or die. (Not his fault, he just didn't quite realize how quickly I could get re-addicted after a binge.)

My BP would go 180/120 ish and I would also take another BP pill. I take anti-seizure meds for cluster headaches and would titrate up an extra pill during the 4-5 day period. My doctor always clenches her teeth when I tell her about doing this at home. She gently reminds me a heart attack, stroke or seizure can kill me.

Once my hallucinations and DTs were settled down, I knew I was coming out the other end. BP and heart rate down to normal.

Even almost 60 days out, my heart still pounds at times. No change in BP or pulse rate. I have only had one mild panic attack since, too. Not sure if it is anxiety or something else.

Take care, keep an eye on your vitals and go to the ER if necessary. Also, take vitamins, Bs especially, C and Magnesium. All of those are depleted from drinking. Lots of good fluids.

Looking forward to getting to know you and hoping you can find peaceful sobriety for yourself.

Cindi

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

Hello, going OK today but a little strange.

Alky, to answer your question about cholesterol, YES, MINE IS &(&((@#$!!!! It has been and runs in the family. My second to the last treatment was in November and before I checked myself in I had a physical while still drinking very heavy a couple of months prior. My bads at that point were around yours, high 200's but I do not have the exact numbers on me. Here is where it gets weird and I have read some articles about it before. My good cholesterol was so high that my Dr. did not put me on meds, everything was balanced at the moment. So I get clean and about 80 days in get a new test and guess what? My bad cholesterol was still in the high 200's, but my good cholesterol was down to...... I'd hate to guess because I don't have the numbers in front of me, but I want to say the 50's. So here I am 80 days free, feeling great, getting lots of exercise, but yet my ratio got worse and was in the danger zone. Long story short, there are lots of proven articles about the "one glass of wine" thing, and one or two if you search good about even heavy drinking. I am a big believer now that any drinking will help raise your good cholesterol and the moral of this story is, please see your Dr. often when drinking and even when coming off. The cholesterol thing surprised me, especially since I was eating better too. I'm guessing it's something in the alcohol that helps good cholesterol. Either way I do have an appointment early next week for a blood draw and we will get whatever cholesterol problems I have solved.

As for today, I went rather quickly and am only down to 4 beers for today. I went from 16, 12, 9, 6.5, and 4 today. Woke up again with perfect pulse and BP (121/79, pulse 74). Slept sort of ok, woke up a few times. I actually waiting 2 hours to check my vitals and they were still perfect. I was like wow! I starting having feelings of just stopping tonight as I did not have the 4 beers in the house yet (2, 24 oz of light beer I planned on getting). So it comes to lunch time and I was meeting some family at a Chinese restaurant. Checked vitals a little before we went and the BP was starting to rise so I took an extra BP pill along with me. The pulse was still under 100 at 87. After we eat I start to feel really freaky, like that withdrawal freaky and it's only 12:30! I haven't been getting a minor feeling until around 4 or 5 p.m. the last 2 days! Then we go walking around and I have to say something and leave because I am feeling really scared with the heart thumping. Get home around 1:30 and the BP is slightly elevated, but now my pulse is 115??? Again, the last few days it never started to rise above 100 until 4 p.m. I still did not have any alcohol in the house and started to think it must be something with the sodium of the Chinese, so I just laid down for it to pass as I am really getting sick of this taper and of course the detox feelings and was not about to start drinking before I have been. So after about 20 minutes of laying there I could feel the thumping lessening. Checked vitals a little later, BP about perfect, pulse under 100. It was just weird with having that feeling so early compared to the last two days.

I went to the store and got the 2 24 oz beers after I was feeling normal. I was really starting to think I don't need it. I actually waited until 5 p.m. to start sipping and just finished half of one (12 oz). I really don't like the taper right now and am getting sick of it. I'm starting to think if I do not have any crazy vitals tomorrow at all I'm just going to skip going down to 2. It's like I just want this over. Plus the other bad thing is I have a lot of triggers going on tomorrow. The main one being that I will be alone tomorrow from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. I know if I start sipping at say 5 p.m., it is all too easy for me to blow it all away, so I might just go for zero tomorrow and take the 2 hour drive out to my nieces soccer/football game in the afternoon. I will take my vitals checker with me of course, but with all the triggers I have going on tomorrow, plus just getting sick of tapering, I'm almost thinking it might be best to not even start tomorrow. We shall see, I'm still debating it all now and will probably make up my mind at the last minute. I'm doing so well now and this is hell to go through that I do not want to give it all up even though it has been less than a week taper so far.

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

Oh, and since I knew the taper was coming to an end in a day or two, I did restart taking my Campral

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

I'm going to make it, from 4 until zero. I can't type much because after a wonderful and active day, it is REALLY starting to hit me now and I'm not feeling so good and vitals just bouncing around like crazy. I do have someone right here to take me to ER or call 911 and they are on alert. Gosh, I was wondering too if it would get worse on the day you hit zero or if the taper would cure that.......... apparently, at least for me, I feel pretty bad and physically this last hour has been the worst for me. It is strange because everything was so wonderful today and I was active and feeling great up until around 8:30 p.m. It is almost bed time for me but I can tell already this will probably be the worse nights sleep. The positive thing I will think about is when I wake up I will have one day in the books of being AF.

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

Last night the nasty stuff only lasted about another hour after my post and then everything returned to normal. At least I had a full day AF! Today will be as well, but quite a bit busy with things today so not much to write. It wouldn't surprise me if I have a repeat of the nasty withdrawal symptoms again tonight, but at least I'll be ready. There is a lot I want to say about tapering or going cold turkey, but I'll save that for a later date. For now I'm just concentrating on the couple more hours I have before I completed 2 full days of no alcohol!!!!

[woody13]

New to forums, starting a taper

Taper Complete - WOW

So as I mentioned, my taper is complete and I wanted to give some thoughts:

My first thought, and this is particularly for heavy daily drinkers, if there is even the slightest chance to go to a detox facility or ER, please do it. We all have our own different reasons not to, including me, but please find a way. Even if you don't have insurance just go to the ER and things will find a way to work out.

I have to say I remember the first time I detoxed and stayed an additional lovely 21 days at a facility. Yes, I was scared. I think we are only scared because we do not know what to expect. Of course I was not as scared the other times I detox and did in-patient because I knew what to expect. That being said, if you think going into a facility to detox is scary, you have no clue what it is like to do it at home!!!

Since I am experienced with being at facilities before I knew a lot of what to do and what to watch for. The one thing I did not have was any type of benzo, just the beer. I was also very lucky I already have BP issues because I have that medication here and doubled the dose when the blood pressure rose to the danger zone.

Mentally it was pretty draining, mainly the fact because I was not really getting a buzz and I knew I would not be getting a buzz. I tried to taper once before and failed pretty bad, mainly because I was I tried to slam my allotted amount for the day all at one time just to get the buzz. You have to be really focused and this time I was, taking it slow, timing everything and sipping the beers slowly. It was rough, actually rough beyond belief at times, but being a binge drinker since the first time I ever drank about 25 years ago, heck, if I can do it anyone can! You just have to want it and be very, very focused. As someone else mentioned in a taper thread, you have to be prepared when you start the taper that while you may be drinker, you are no longer going to get drunk, it is medication, PERIOD.

There is so much I want to say about it in detail, but I just can't put it into words right now. Today will be my 3rd day clean and I am thinking pretty clearly and feel good, but just can't put it into words. I guess what I want to say is forget about being "scared" going into rehab......... seeing your vitals skyrocket to near deadly levels right in your own home with no doctors, no nurse, just someone that can call 911......., yeah, that is scary! So basically you will not learn "being scared" at rehab. You may think you have it scared out of you at rehab at first, but it is nothing like going about it at home without medical supervision. I did learn humility and a lot of tools at rehab. I just never learned empowerment over my own life. I learned that during this taper, AND IT DID AND DOES FEEL GREAT! One of the few times in my life I was actually in control of my body and alcohol! It gave me a great feeling and I still have that great feeling. The only downside to this is I notice today, again day 3 of being totally clean, that if I now have this power that means I can do it again. It's my drinking side talking to me trying to get me to give in already.

I do not really have a plan yet as to what to do now. As I just mentioned my "drinking brain" is already telling me "hey see, you detoxed on your own, you can moderate and do it again if you need be". I know I do not want to do what my drinking brain says, but I also know I do not want to set expectation too high just yet. I'm going to sleep on it tonight and come up with an official plan in the morning. My heart wants me to go set a 30 day plan right now, but after just going through the emotional draining last week my mind says take it day by day for now.

I will get it figured out soon, but in the meantime I am going to be happy I DID IT!