So ashamed :(

[Tess-2]

So ashamed

PearlButterfly;1504978 wrote: ... I guess I should say that I feel ashamed of what I was like on AL...

I feel ashamed of what I was like on AL, too. I made a complete and total fool of myself, made terrible and dangerous decisions, nearly destroyed a lovely marriage, ruined my health, wasted a ridiculous amount of money -- and all of that was on a good day. :nutso:

I would be willing to bet the farm, PearlButterfly, that most of us who are recovering from alcoholism feel ashamed of what we were like on AL.

You are on Day 4. Congratulations!! That is a huge accomplishment. Way to go!!

One thing that helped me in the early days of sobriety was to think about how fabulous it was going to feel to wake up the next day and realize I had stayed sober the day before. For me, it was such a happy and delightful and liberating feeling to wake up and remember, "I did not drink yesterday. Thank goodness!!"

Now, four + months later, our female Lab comes to greet me every morning when she hears the alarm clock. She lays her big, blocky head on the mattress right next to my face and stands there wagging her tail. It's as if she is thinking, "Mom's still sober. Whew!! We are going to have an awesome day." Then she licks my feet as I swing my legs out of bed. Even our dogs felt the destructive and negative impact of alcohol. They were sad little pups when I was drunk.

There is no need now for shame. It's over. You are moving on with your life. Excellent choice!! :greatjob2:

[little beagle]

So ashamed

Pearlbutterfly
I know the shame of doing things that hurt the ones you love. Also know the pride of doing things that make their lives better. The second is what I am trying to concentrate on. Keep at it. Post often when you feel that urge or someone brings up your past because they don't believe you or trust you right now. They will again. I have been on both sides of that fence. Trust will come back from those that love us and we will be able to trust those we love if they keep trying.

[PearlButterfly]

So ashamed

Thanks everyone for your kind words of encouragement they are giving me so much strength. It's nice to hear your stories of how much better you feel free of AL.

Day 5 for me nearly over, woke up with a headache and really tired this morning but tried to shake it off quickly with happiness - as my husband is trusting me again!! Yay!! I had a few craving again this afternoon but just made a trip to the vending machine and got a HUGE cookie and scoffed it with a big glass of milk. Then on the way home I treated myself to some ice cream and that sorted those cravings.

Hope you are all happy and safe xx

[Honeysoup]

So ashamed

Isn't it crazy how much we crave sugar when we don't drink? It makes me wonder if I am hypoglycemic or something? I too want to eat a whole cake or devour 5 chocolate bars and then sometimes I justify it to my self..."well, its better than alcohol". But I just lost 20 pounds, so how am I going to keep focused and stay away from alcohol AND sweets. double edge sword but at least I'm sober!!!

[NoSugar]

So ashamed

Honeysoup;1505465 wrote: Isn't it crazy how much we crave sugar when we don't drink? It makes me wonder if I am hypoglycemic or something? I too want to eat a whole cake or devour 5 chocolate bars and then sometimes I justify it to my self..."well, its better than alcohol". But I just lost 20 pounds, so how am I going to keep focused and stay away from alcohol AND sweets. double edge sword but at least I'm sober!!!

Hi, Honey

To our bodies, the neurological rewards of consuming AL and sugar are very similar. The L-glutamine that is used to diminish AL cravings also works for sugar. I gave up sugar first and I think that made giving up AL easier. However, I did it in that order because I wasn't psychologically ready to let go of AL, not because it was the best choice...

I am a Big Proponent of not eating sugar but I think that becoming sober is so important that using sugar as a tool to get past AL cravings can be a good idea. Once you are safely AF, then you could tackle the sugar problem.

If you are really going to be done with this, I think it has to be the top priority, even if some other long-term goals need to be put on hold.

All the best to you, NS

[Snapdragon]

So ashamed

Hi No Sugar and Honey

I'm not generally a 'sweet tooth' person, but in the first few weeks AF I craved sugary things - my biggest sin was a whole box of chocolate brownies one evening (must have had about 6,000 calories!!) I was despairing to start with as I put on about 6lbs in the first two weeks!

However - it kept me sober and the great news is I've stopped eating for England now and have lost every pound I put on and a bit more. I make sure my fruit bowl is always full of healthy snacks and drink low calorie soft drinks if the sugar craving is particularly bad. As NS said the most important thing is to stay sober - deal with the sugar cravings once you get that under control.

[Janice]

So ashamed

Hi Pearl, I just want to add my welcome too!! Day 5 - wow, you have made an amazing start!! I agree with Tess...that feeling the next morning when you wake up after a great night's sleep and remember that you didnt drink is amazing!! Remember you are in the driving seat Pearl, you CAN get your life back and your family can have the real you back. Go for it!!! Good luck!!

[Wagoneer]

So ashamed

Hi Pearl - sorry I am late on this. Welcome and congrats - you are well on your way. So glad that something finally "clicked". Stay strong as AL is a crafty bugger. I was sober 11 months, then screwed up. I am at 76 days and happy as hell. Best of luck to you and rememebr you have friends here

Love Waggy

[PearlButterfly]

So ashamed

Thank you for the kind words everyone x

I was wondering about the sugar thing, when I was drinking heavily I hardly touched sugar. Now I'm getting stuck right in! I'll find a healthier alternative once I feel more stable with being AF.

So day 6 nearly done for me!! Going well had a few cravings today but ate lollies instead woke up with a bit of a headache this morning but I think it's from all of the sugar - haha. My skin is looking better and mind is clearer.

I'm excited about getting through day 7 tomorrow!! I can't remember the last time I went 7 days AF.

Hope you are all doing well *hugs*

[PearlButterfly]

So ashamed

Oh and I picked up some L- glut amine on my way home today so ill see if that helps with the cravings.

[Honeysoup]

So ashamed

Great Job Pearl! What an accomplishment!!! ((HUGS))

[PearlButterfly]

So ashamed

Day 7 today!! I woke up this morning with a feeling like nothing can stop me!! I am feeling fantastic - like a have a new lease on life I'm appreciating everything and loving my sober and hangover free time with my beautiful family.

I'm thinking today I might start reducing the sugar as I think it's giving me headaches in the morning and my husband says I'm snoring, which I'm putting down to sugar. So I've packed healthier alternatives in my lunch bag today but I won't deny myself a tasty treat if I feel that way inclined!

I've taken 3 800mg doses of the L-glut amine so far - I'll check in later and report on any cravings for AL or sugar lol!

Have a great AF day everyone! I know I will! *hugs*

[JackieClaire]

So ashamed

Hi Pearl,
Just had to swoop by and give you a great big :woot::woot: on 7 days AF.

And yes it does feel fantastic.

[hadit]

So ashamed

Hello Pearl and well done. Yes it is a great feeling! 8 Days for me today. The weekend coming up will be challenging, so my plan is to keep posting and reading and reading. what is your plan?Well done 7 days , I would never have thought a week ago, I could have reached that goal but have! Keep up the good work!:goodjob::goodjob::goodjob::goodjob:

[Siren136]

So ashamed

Hi Pearl! Great job on 7 AF days! My first quit I woke up with headaches after the initial few days, too. It may be your brain wanting to you drink, so don't be surprised or concerned if you still get them even after cutting back on sugar. They will go away.

Now, 7 days done - what's your plan for moving forward? What's the next milestone you are shooting for and how do you plan to get there? Do you have a longer term sobriety plan?