Hi everyone, I wanted to say hello and introduce myself with a tid bit about my drinking. 
I began an alcohol taper on April 26th and ended up in Urgent Care on April 28th with withdrawls.
I am in my mid/late 40's and was always a moderate drinker (two 12oz beers, 3 days a week) until I had my 'mid-life crisis' 3 years ago. For a year I drank 1/2 bottle of red wine a night, then the following year I progressed to bottle of red a night. I drank to numb out my deep pain from up and leaving my husband during my mlc. Anyway, I held steady at a bottle a night (with an occasional night or two off and a few 'cut backs' to two glasses per night for a week or so) until January '13. At that point I decided to drink vodka and water with lemon instead of wine b/c I thought that it was a healthier choice (LOL) due to the water/lemon. WELL, that was not a good idea b/c I began experimenting with daytime shots to calm my nerves (lot's of emotionally painful stuff going on in my private life.) By Februrary I was drinking 11 shots on work days (8 shots from 3 pm to 9 pm bedtime, then 2-3 at 4 in the morning to get back to sleep after waking) and 14 shots on my days off (11 shots from noon-9pm, 3 at 4 am.) In those 8 weeks I became alcohol dependant. I had no idea that it could happen so fast. btw, I was not out driving around- I was holed up in my house.
I was AF for 9 days, though 5 of those were on the Lorazapam taper so those were easy. Days 7 & 8 I cried nonstop (felt chemically off) and on day 10 I was annoyed that alcohol could have power over me so I drank one 24oz can of Budweiser that night. Day 13 I drank two 24 oz beers and day 14 I drank four 16 ouncers. Because I live alone, I was terrified that I would have withdrawl early the next morning but I was fine. The last 3 days (today will be 4) have been AF.
I hope that I can be a moderate drinker again. I never felt that alcohol ruled my life until this latest vodka episode. I am totally shocked that I made that decision to do all of those vodka shots- it was very conscious.
Thanks for listening.
I began an alcohol taper on April 26th and ended up in Urgent Care on April 28th with withdrawls.
I am in my mid/late 40's and was always a moderate drinker (two 12oz beers, 3 days a week) until I had my 'mid-life crisis' 3 years ago. For a year I drank 1/2 bottle of red wine a night, then the following year I progressed to bottle of red a night. I drank to numb out my deep pain from up and leaving my husband during my mlc. Anyway, I held steady at a bottle a night (with an occasional night or two off and a few 'cut backs' to two glasses per night for a week or so) until January '13. At that point I decided to drink vodka and water with lemon instead of wine b/c I thought that it was a healthier choice (LOL) due to the water/lemon. WELL, that was not a good idea b/c I began experimenting with daytime shots to calm my nerves (lot's of emotionally painful stuff going on in my private life.) By Februrary I was drinking 11 shots on work days (8 shots from 3 pm to 9 pm bedtime, then 2-3 at 4 in the morning to get back to sleep after waking) and 14 shots on my days off (11 shots from noon-9pm, 3 at 4 am.) In those 8 weeks I became alcohol dependant. I had no idea that it could happen so fast. btw, I was not out driving around- I was holed up in my house.
I was AF for 9 days, though 5 of those were on the Lorazapam taper so those were easy. Days 7 & 8 I cried nonstop (felt chemically off) and on day 10 I was annoyed that alcohol could have power over me so I drank one 24oz can of Budweiser that night. Day 13 I drank two 24 oz beers and day 14 I drank four 16 ouncers. Because I live alone, I was terrified that I would have withdrawl early the next morning but I was fine. The last 3 days (today will be 4) have been AF.
I hope that I can be a moderate drinker again. I never felt that alcohol ruled my life until this latest vodka episode. I am totally shocked that I made that decision to do all of those vodka shots- it was very conscious.
Thanks for listening.
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