Just trying again :(

[learningtolovewinter]

Just trying again

Honeysoup, I think if u feel like going home and sleeping that is exactly what you should do.
Yes, going to the gym is good, however, I find it gets me all hyper if I go in the evening. I cannot sleep for hours after.
Listen to your body.
I would have said the same thing you are saying about 'all my friends drink, am I supposed to give up everything & everyone?'
Well, now I live in a different corner of the planet, I have few friends for now, and guess what? I still want to drink. Yeah, it is easier when not living in a culture of alcohol, but it isn't a miracle cure either. It has to come from us. It is our choice what to do.

I find it is harder to behave myself when I am over tired. No doubt.
Fatigue, hunger, stress - all unavoidable. So, what to do?

[Honeysoup]

Just trying again

Thank you all for the great advise...I need these thoughts and encouragement to keep me going. I was sober all day Sunday, Monday, and here is Tuesday. Like I said today is usually the day I wake up and feel fantastic and proud of myself. I did just go home last night and stayed busy. I pre-made lasagna for tonight and grilled out with my husband. We had a long talk last night and we both decided we didn't want the party life in our life. The easy thing for him is he isn't an alcoholic so it doesn't bother him not to drink. I have mentioned this before but, he may not be an alcoholic but he is a pot head! I hate that too! It's expensive! Not to mention if he knows he can't get any he is pissy and rude to us (me and our kids). He keeps telling me he is going to quit but he don't even try because as soon as he walks out of the house he goes to his buddies house and comes home high. He's fine when he is high, in fact he's a lot nicer! BUT...he has a crappy job and I/we have both talked about how he needs to quit to find a better job.

[kuya]

Just trying again

Honey soup......purchase some GABA and Lglutamine for BOTH of you.

My son smokes pot and while he is unwilling to quit ATM he assures me that both of these supplements work.

Ask, nay BEG him to just TRY it for two weeks......that is not a lot to ask of a person who loves you.

If he WON'T then they won't be wasted as you will use them.

[K9Lover]

Just trying again

I missed you Honey!

I'm glad to see you back. Keep taking the AB and get some sober time racked up. You know it gets easier...just don't let the Beast convince you that you "aren't that bad". You know how sneaky he can be. Take the damn pill (TTDP...as we like to say) every single day and choke the hell out of that bastard!

Love,
K9

[lvn122900]

Just trying again

This might seem out of topic, but K9 lover, you obviously have a dog or more that you love. I only have rats, but everyday, they greet me. We are lucky people :-)

[Honeysoup]

Just trying again

Day 4 and I took my pill this morining! Had some thoughts about missing my wine glass but I worked through it. I love waking up refreshed and knowing I behaved myself the night before!!!

Good luck today everyone!

XOXO

[JackDanielsGirl]

Just trying again

Well done Honeysoup! Congrats on Day 4.

You know the hard part is over, now the fog will begin to lift and you can see life clearly.

Keep up the good work.

JDG

[K9Lover]

Just trying again

Yep...not having to "cringe" at bits and pieces of memories that come back from the previous night is one of the best things about sobriety.

You're doing great Honey...keep it up!

[Tess-2]

Just trying again

Proud of you!!

Dear Honeysoup,

I know the horrific nightmare of addiction to alcohol. And I know the overwhelming need to keep alcohol in my life; to somehow manage it, but not be required to let it go completely.

You are amazing. You are here and telling your story. You are honest and courageous.

All of us who have lived from one desperate day to the next are with you. We get it. We know. We hurt with you. We have to work at it every day, too. Yes, it gets easier. But it is always a moment to moment decision. We are with you!!

Hey, you are my New Year's friend. I think of you that way. I will always think of you that way, no matter what.

With utmost respect. ~

[Honeysoup]

Just trying again

Oh Tess - That was so nice...brought a tear to my eye because here I sit on day 5 and I am struggling...I haven't taken my pill yet battling that decision in my head to not take the pill today, tomorrow and Saturday all so Saturday night I can drink. I HATE waking up hungover, ashamed, guilt, regret, tired, no energy, my day wasted all because I got wasted. How great I will feel on Sunday morning because I made it through a huge party celebration completely sober and proud I will be that I didn't do or say anything stupid or even remember if I did. In fact, I am going to take it right now...BAM! DONE :happy: YAY, I did it. No more struggling with that decision, can't go back now. Wow, talked myself out of that! Beaming with joy!!!

[Tess-2]

Just trying again

Honeysoup;1506628 wrote: Oh Tess - That was so nice...brought a tear to my eye because here I sit on day 5 and I am struggling...I haven't taken my pill yet battling that decision in my head to not take the pill today, tomorrow and Saturday all so Saturday night I can drink. I HATE waking up hungover, ashamed, guilt, regret, tired, no energy, my day wasted all because I got wasted. How great I will feel on Sunday morning because I made it through a huge party celebration completely sober and proud I will be that I didn't do or say anything stupid or even remember if I did. In fact, I am going to take it right now...BAM! DONE :happy: YAY, I did it. No more struggling with that decision, can't go back now. Wow, talked myself out of that! Beaming with joy!!!

I am beaming with joy for you!! I'm not sure what AF Day I'm on (I don't count because I try to look at each day in and of itself. No baggage, sort of. It's difficult for me to explain.) Anyway, I've been sober long enough that I had hoped I was beyond a lot of painful struggling. But I'm not. Yet I am. Staying sober gets better and better. Still, for me, I find that I must be careful. But that's okay, really. The ongoing struggle keeps me connected to others who are in the midst of their "quit," be it Day 1 or Day 1000. We all need the love and support and guidance of someone who gives a damn about our well-being.

Hold onto the joy of how you will feel on Sunday morning. Keep that picture in your imagination. I have not yet found anything that compares to the JOY of waking up and realizing that I stayed sober the day before. It may sound silly, but it is such a fabulous and energizing feeling. As the yoga instructor says about the discipline of yoga practice: It is totally worth it!! And you, Honeysoup, are totally worth a life of sobriety and joy.

My thoughts are with you. ~

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Just trying again

Honeysoup, I can totally relate to your original post! My game with AL began after I went through a traumatic death (love of my life passed away in a car accident). That was 11 years ago. When I binge drink I actually have the same thoughts as you... WTF!!! Why am I doing this? You are not alone. Much love and strength to you.

[PearlButterfly]

Just trying again

Good one HS, be strong you can keep going!!

[Honeysoup]

Just trying again

Its Sunday and I made it through...it has been a full week now and I feel fantastic. I actually had fun and danced and everything totally sober! I really feel strength came from supportive friends, MWO, and God! I know this is a small step but I do feel like it was a huge milestone! much love and support back too all of you as well! I will check in with ya later.

[NoSugar]

Just trying again

That is wonderful, Honeysoup!

Please print out your post and keep it with you so if you need to be reminded how good this feels, there it will be!

:goodjob::goodjob::goodjob::goodjob::goodjob:

:h NS