The Folly of MS

[Unwasted]

The Folly of MS

MS - was wondering about you. Thrilled for you that you're finding some positive things with which to replace AL! You're rewiring your brain with something healthy! YOU GO GIRL.

[free at last]

The Folly of MS

Hi MS, just checking in to say that I completely understand the sunshine issue -- seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and I have it. When I lived in a dreary climate, we had to plan two vacations a year to a sunny locale.

Let me put in a plug for yoga and meditation -- both are incredible for clearing the mind and there are lots of websites on line. You might check out Tara Brach. Tara Brach - Meditation, Audio Dharma, Podcasts

Enjoy your holiday!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

The Folly of MS

Hello everyone! I just read through this entire thread again and I want to say THANK YOU to you all for the love and support. You guys are great!

We are back from our vacation and I do feel refreshed and recharged. Free... you are so right about SAD. What a different it makes to spend some time in the sunshine! After our first two days in Spain I was already starting to feel better.

As I stated in my last post, the internet connection at the resort was not very good. One one hand, I was worried about being at an all inclusive resort (of course this includes all the AL you can drink) and not have you wonderful people to lean on. On the other hand, I was forced to put aside my electronic devices and focus on myself and my husband. I'm happy to say that I was pretty successful at avoiding the AL. I found my motivations in my golf lessons, spending some down time in the sun, reading the many books that have piled up next to my bed and generally feeling good about being SOBER. I indulged myself in as much Diet Coke that I could drink (I've been trying to give up diet drinks) and did not feel guilty about drinking so much fake sugar. I did sip a glass of wine with dinner but managed NOT to overindulge. I have to admit... this was VERY difficult. And I kept thinking about what it will be like one day when I finally kick the AL habit and when I won't want even one glass of wine. Step by step. Overall, I was so proud of myself and so was my husband. I'm so happy that my husband was proud of me because I know my AL problems have caused stress in our marriage, so he was happy to see me stay away from all AL while sitting by the pool (this was DIFFICULT but I did it) and only drink minimal AL in the evening. I hope you guys are not mad at me for having a small bit of AL. I know I need to quit completely, but I am happy with how I handled myself while on vacation.

And... since I've been home I've been dealing with a few stressful situations (family drama, work drama) and I've managed NOT go buy any AL for the home. Oh, I was so tempted and stressed on Monday, I felt like my skin was going to fall off if I did not immediate drive to the store! I started making my old sneaky plans of buying some wine and hiding it in my closet. But I invited my husband to go to the grocery store with me to keep me straight. By 10pm I was feeling better and the stressful craving had passed. Whew.

I'm feeling very positive today but I know from experience that this is a day by day, step by step process. The next three weeks will be a challenge. Lots of travel in the USA for both work and vacation with friends/family. Luckily I will be in places where the internet connection is good so I'll keep in touch with you guys.

I'm sorry this is so short and I have not addressed you guys individually but I do have to get back to work for now... I will check back in later this evening.

Much love and strength to all of you. You will be in my thoughts all day. :l

[free at last]

The Folly of MS

Dear MS,
You sound much better than before your holiday. Good idea to have your husband go with you to the store to avoid stocking up on wine. As for the travel, well you know how frequently I am on the road -- plan to make friends with the hotel gym, pool, anything but the bar!

Stay close, you know it helps.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

The Folly of MS

Thank you Free. I have to admit that I've been struggling a bit on this trip. This is my fourth day in Florida (on a work trip) and for some reason the cravings have been crazy difficult. My social anxiety is really affecting me; everyone that I'm traveling with is great but for some reason I feel like I just don't fit in. Yesterday we found out that my mother-in-law's breast cancer has metastasized and is now affecting her lungs. My husband and his mother are super close so of course he's having a hard time dealing with this.

Anyhoo... I'm feeling very lonely today. I will stick close and try to make a plan for the evening. Much love and strength to you all.

[NoSugar]

The Folly of MS

Hi, MS

Just "saw" you over in the nest - glad you're checking in!

To feel like we fit in comfortably, we have to like ourselves. There is no way to imagine that others like us and want to be with us when if we could, we would be someone else entirely!

Anyone who makes it to MWO doesn't like who they are when they drink, in my opinion.

So, it is a vicious circle of self-loathing, insecurity, craving, drinking, and on and on and on.

Break the cycle, MS! You really do have the support and love here. Please accept it.

:h NS

[Kradle123]

The Folly of MS

Mein Sonnenschein;1521381 wrote: Thank you Free. I have to admit that I've been struggling a bit on this trip. This is my fourth day in Florida (on a work trip) and for some reason the cravings have been crazy difficult. My social anxiety is really affecting me; everyone that I'm traveling with is great but for some reason I feel like I just don't fit in. Yesterday we found out that my mother-in-law's breast cancer has metastasized and is now affecting her lungs. My husband and his mother are super close so of course he's having a hard time dealing with this.

Anyhoo... I'm feeling very lonely today. I will stick close and try to make a plan for the evening. Much love and strength to you all.

Hi MS:

I've been reading your wonderful thread.
Saw this latest post about feeling odd gal out and wanted to remind you of a past post saying you work for a small company who encourages drinking to 'fit in ...' could that have something to do with your unease??

Also, I can totally relate to sitting in front of my screen here at MWO and having everything to say and absolutely no words to say it...

I hate that SO MUCH :upset:

:l

[Mein Sonnenschein]

The Folly of MS

Kradle, that is exactly how I feel today. I have much to say but don't know how to say it! I just hope tomorrow is better. Thank you for your response. Yes... I do work for a small company of drinkers. It's very difficult to fit in.

Tonight I'm distracting myself with a HUGE outlet mall. Maybe a little retail therapy will take the edge off of the cravings.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

The Folly of MS

Hi All, I just want to check in and say hello. I was very successful last night. I had horrible cravings around 7pm but I did go to the mall and attempt to work out the cravings with shopping instead. I managed to distract myself in Banana Republic and J Crew, but the cravings did not stop. Luckily I was strong during dinner and did not order a drink but man, what a horrible feeling. I'm sorry to be stuck in such a horrible cycle with not the best strength at the moment. My mind is thinking a million things at a time right now. So glad I have you all here... you inspire me!

[NoSugar]

The Folly of MS

Mein Sonnenschein;1521903 wrote: Luckily I was strong during dinner and did not order a drink but man, what a horrible feeling. I'm sorry to be stuck in such a horrible cycle with not the best strength at the moment. My mind is thinking a million things at a time right now.

You exhibited a great deal of strength, MS! You wanted to order a drink but DIDN'T! What more could you have done (or not done)??

This whirring in your mind is tough -- but it passes if you give it a chance. The truly horrible cycle that you are not in right now is the the one we've all lived through of craving, caving, and the next morning, painful regretting and recovery from what we again did the night before.

You might not be feeling it right now but last night was a victory. As those add up, it becomes easier and easier.

Stay close, MS, you can do this!

:h NS

[free at last]

The Folly of MS

Dear MS, congrats on saying "No." That takes a lot of mental muscle. Glad to hear from you.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

The Folly of MS

Thank you NS and Free. I've actually been thinking about leaving work early to exercise. I have a big dinner tonight with work colleagues and friends at a wonderful Brazilian restaurant. Usually we start the evening with drinks, have wine during dinner and maybe a trip to a bar afterwards. So I've got to start thinking about what I will do to stay strong. It helps to know I have you all behind me!

[NoSugar]

The Folly of MS

Mein Sonnenschein;1521956 wrote: Thank you NS and Free. I've actually been thinking about leaving work early to exercise. I have a big dinner tonight with work colleagues and friends at a wonderful Brazilian restaurant. Usually we start the evening with drinks, have wine during dinner and maybe a trip to a bar afterwards. So I've got to start thinking about what I will do to stay strong. It helps to know I have you all behind me!

MS,

Just go to the event as a person who does not drink. There are so many people who live that way -- we just haven't noticed them!

As Lav said, if you don't want to drink, Don't. There are so many options -- you can even get a fancy drink w/o AL in it.

Achieving this would be another big step on your path!! Imagine how you will feel tomorrow knowing you did it !

[free at last]

The Folly of MS

If you can get the exercise in first, I would do it. I know it sure helps me with cravings and to keep my focus on remaining AF.. Also, NS's advice is good--go as the "new you," the one who doesn't drink. Let us know tomorrow how it goes -- having to report in will help, don't you think?

[Mein Sonnenschein]

The Folly of MS

Hello All. I'm still here... just been going through some emotional stuff lately that's taken away my ability to concentrate. Might be some big decisions in my future. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm hanging in there and I'll write more soon when I get my head straight. Luckily I've been sticking to reading the Nest even when not posting. That ALWAYS helps. Much love and strength to you all.