7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hey ML,

I too can relate to what you're saying. I keep thinking of the 5 stages of grief by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and get frustrated with myself sometimes because I know AL is a destructive, poisonous, good for nothing substance yet somehow I've allowed it in the past to become a close, fair weathered friend. We're dealing with loss and I guess the stages come in to play in some weird, uncomfortable way.

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

You're right ALL. It helps to think of it in those terms - it IS like losing a long term friend - or foe (more often at the end)!

And we do have to go through stages with it. I suppose that's just what I'm feeling. It sucks - but the option (to drink) is worse - so I'll just keep on keeping on.

Have a great day.

[Lavande]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi mylife,

Nice to see you again
I just wanted to jump in & mention something that helped me a LOT -
Everything became much easier for me when I gave up the need to know why me?
Turns out we don't really need to know all the answers. We simply need to accept what is - we cannot handle any amount of AL safely. Once I accepted that, the struggle disappeared

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Thanks Lav. I always value your wise words.

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Thanks Lav,

Acceptance is key, I don't know if there is a way to make abstinence stick without it. I know from experience things really only change on a permanent basis when our thinking changes. I also know every slide back was from my inability to accept the truth especially in a weak moment.

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

I so agree, Alls!

So, today I'm back on the "It's great to be sober" bandwagon! I feel great - I'm alive and full of energy - I'm getting to work early (unheard of in the past)! I can tackle all my problems that come up with a clear mind and the problems don't seem so big. I find myself thinking "It will work itself out" about a lot of things that caused HUGE stress when I was drinking. I don't miss the anxiety AT ALL!

And I accept that I cannot drink AL - for whatever reason - and it's okay. I wasn't born drinking Alcohol and I went many years without it growing up - so I'm heading back to where my body wants me to be - Alcohol Free. And that's okay.

Hope you all have a wonderful AF day.

[Unwasted]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Lav, Hi and great to see you here. I like it when you and Byrdie drop in - and No Sugar, Mr. G. - etc. people who don't normally post here. You guys make me feel sort of protected for lack of a better way to describe it.

Alls & ML, one of you guys already mentioned it, but we did sort of start down this path around the same time, yes??? And, it seems to me that we're going through similar stages of development in our evolution with AL. It's comforting to know there are others experiencing what you've going through because you feel they can relate to what you're feeling, obviously.:l It seems to me that we're pretty much headed toward acceptance and the realization that AF is the only way for us. It's strange, because I just never saw myself as an alcoholic. And I don't know why I care about a label. I guess that's just been a guise to convince myself that I'm different and could have that occasional drink. But, it's just not to be.

It's not surprising that we held on so tightly, though, if you think about it. Hell, alcohol was as central to my life as breakfast if not more so.:H Really, it's like learning to write left handed, or walk again. Just so foreign.

But, as everyone says, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Last night my husband and I had dinner out and it really felt ok not to order wine. The struggle wasn't there - I just ordered something yummy that didn't give me a buzz and got VERY into enjoying the meal!

Lately, I've been thinking back on my life and trying to remember that there truly was a time that I could enjoy myself without being altered. Just being me was enough. I'm working on accepting what I am - so be it if I'm not yeehaw fun anymore. So much of it was fake anyway - just an illusion of what I had come to define fun as being.....Really kind of perverted if you think it through.

Anyhoo, I'm waxing and waning philosophically, so I'll give it a rest.

Glad to be on this journey with you guys.

OH, and p.s. had to come back to add this. ML, I'm having identical experiences about lack of anxiety and clarity of thinking. Absolutely frickin amazing!

Hugs,
UN :lilheart:

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Great Post UN,

I hope everyone has a great AF holiday and extended weekend! I'm going to run a race on the 4th early in the morning then spend some quiet time gardening. A few years ago I would of thought that would be an excellent way to waste a holiday with all of the parties to go to and all the "fun" to be had but now I'm quite happy getting as far away from that as possible. Evolving and moving forward, no longer spinning wheels. I like who I've become and I like the good decisions I make.

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Good morning and Happy 4th!

UN - what a great post. And you are right - I think you, me and ALLS did start down this path around the same time - and I think its great we're all headed in the right direction together. Un, I was just talking to my husband the other day about that time when I enjoyed myself without AL. I am determined to get back there. I really did spend most of my 20's believe it or not, as a non-drinker. I just didn't "get it". I lived a party lifestyle in LA at the time - and I was always the designated driver because I just didn't care for AL. I never thought of ordering it with dinner, I would nurse a light beer when I went out with my friends, I just didn't care for it. It wasn't until my 30's that I started to really like wine and it became a staple around my late 30's. So, I know that I certainly experienced fun without it and I can do that again.

Alls - I am so impressed with your running! I am trying to find something I can get into that will force me back into shape. Unfortunately, I hurt my back and had to have surgery in 2008, so the Dr. said "no more running" and I have been limited since then. I might try to get into biking - it's just so scary because I live in a city and I know the bike trails are limited! Anyway, Kudos to you for finding such a great outlet for your energy.

I'm off to have an AF independence day, and celebrate the fact I'm free from AL. Hope everyone has a fantastic 4th of July!

[free at last]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Some great posts these past few days. Really helps me stay focused. Happy to report an AF 4th July for me.

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Good morning all.

Free - I agree some great posts. Today I am tired. I didn't sleep well and I have work stress and family stress issues in the back of my mind.

One thing I'm so grateful for is that I'm not hungover on top of it all. A second thing I'm grateful for is I'm thinking less and less about alcohol, it doesn't sound as appealing anymore and I'm just - forgetting to think about it for lack of a better word. I realized that last night at some point as we were out looking at fireworks - and I felt a little ray of hope. Maybe if I give this a long enough time I will really forget all about AL. That would be so great! We'll see...

Hope you all have a wonderful day.

[Unwasted]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi Everyone,

Had an awful night last night but to make a long story short, I didn't drink, and I didn't consider drinking. ML, I'm hoping you're right and that this continues to get easier and that we eventually just don't think that much about alcohol. Or, if we think about it, it's not in the context of wishing we could drink - just more in an analytical musing about something we used to do!

Hey Free, good to see you posting here again, and happy for you that you didn't cave into the "holiday" drinking thinking phenomenon. Really, just like Fridays, they're just another day if we can keep things in perspective.

Alls, you really sound like your head is screwed on straight these days. Just really level and sensible. It's freeing, isn't it? Hope your race went well.

In closing I'd like to mention something that's really hit home with me and is helping me to not "pick up" as they say. I read TONS of addiction literature and the last several books have all talked about the inability to EVER go back to drinking once you've crossed that line into addiction. For whatever reason, that realization is only now TRULY getting ingrained into my thinking. I think it's the single biggest reason I've been able to stay away from alcohol. And, here's an important distinction about why I think the internalizing of that fact is what's making the difference:

We have always known that we didn't want to be hung over, right? That was always a given, but we kept drinking regardless. In animal studies, the rats will go over electrical grids and get shocked (or whatever other horrific pain-inducing blockade the researchers put in their path) - EVEN TO THE POINT OF DYING - to get to the alcohol. So, knowing that we're setting ourselves up for the pain of feeling horrible the next day for the myriad reasons we all are aware of, THAT'S never been enough to deter us. Hence, my belief that it is the acceptance of knowing we've crossed that line into drinking compulsively and not being able to stop at one that keeps us on the right path.

Don't know if this makes sense to you guys, but it's a critical distinction for me.

Gotta run everyone.........hope you all have a good day!

xx,
UN :lilheart:

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi, Unwasted

I wasn't going to put this link on MWO because I'm not sure how interested in the details of the science of addiction people are but now I remember that you have been reading about it.

Anyway, as I just wrote in the NN, understanding the science makes it easier for me to accept what happened.

This is a leading researcher in addiction neurobiology: The Neurobiology of Addiction Part 1 - YouTube. There are 5 parts. I listened to a longer seminar he gave but this shorter version covers the main points.

I'm sorry you had a bad evening but making it though without drinking has strengthened you!

:h NS

[Unwasted]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi NS, thanks for the link! I just can't get enough brain science information about alcohol's effects. It helps me enormously to understand addiction. Of course, there's still the possibility that one just says "F it" and drinks again, but this kind of knowledge makes it harder to deny what we're headed for if we decide to take that plunge again! It's a lot easier to cave when you're clueless about the big picture, eh?

And, you're so right about overcoming the rough times making us stronger. I heard once that when people learn to snow ski and get into the habit of doing something incorrectly, it takes an unbelievable amount of repetitions to "undo" the bad habit. Hopefully not as many as drinking quits, but it does take time to create those new pathways.

Thanks again for the You Tube video.

xx,
UN :l

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi Everyone,

Hey UN, thanks for the compliment. I think my head is on right because I see so many possibilities I never saw before. I now see a life beyond my career and have goals that feel comfortable for my future that don't (in any way at all) involve alcohol. Several years ago my focus was on my alcohol demon but in the process, with the help of this website and some other resources, I realized there were other burdens I needed to rid myself of. Bad relationships, reducing work focus, alcohol - I now have found what I would like to pursue in the future and I can't wait to get started! No time for alcohol or drags on my life anymore.

NS, I'll definitely take a look at the link.

Have a good weekend everyone and make the most of it!