7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hello All,

Free - great to hear you've had a good trip and still enjoying AF living! Looking forward to catching up on your glamourous life!

UN - I have never felt anything on AB - and really only keep it around as a backup. I think I took one once during my first week to solidify my committment, and then last week. I keep some with me in my purse in case I ever feel weak while traveling. So, for me it's just a reinforcement. For all I know it could be a placebo because I've never felt a thing from taking one. But it deters any thoughts from entering my mind. That's just how it's worked for me. If I go on vacation, I'd bring some along...again in case I feel AL sneaking into my brain. I didn't need them on my last vacation - but they were there in case I wanted to cut out any mental tug of war. However, it only works with momentary weakness. For me, if I've decided to drink again in the past it's usually been something I've thought about and decided I'd try moderating in which case I of course would have stopped taking anything a week or so before hand. So in that situation Antabuse really is not a deterrant! So, it's good for any "impulsive" or "why not just one" behavior, but not when I've really thought I want to try drinking again. That's been my experience! Hope it helps.

It's a rainy day here and I'm swamped as usual at work! I guess that's better than having the sun shining outside while stuck in the office.

Have a great AF day all!

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Nice to hear from you, Free. It is great to hear that you are alive and well . You must be eager for your upcoming hiking trip. Is camping involved or do you stay in 'civilization' at night?

MyLife, I saw in the Roll Call that today is your day 50 and that for you, Unwasted, day 60 is tomorrow. Congratulations to both of you! It is funny how the numbers that are multiples of 10 seem special but for whatever reason, they are.

As an alternative to watching TV talking heads (and I only watched the ones I agreed with on MSNBC so it wasn't like I was learning other viewpoints and all that virtuous business), I started watching the first season of The Newsroom - the main character seems to be a cross between Joe Scarborough and Keith Olbermann. It is quite entertaining but I'm cheap and I think that free access might have ended yesterday .

Take care, NS

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hello everyone,

ML, thanks for the reminder that business class accommodations are definitely the way to go. When I have to go to these places they often are party towns and it's just a lousy crap shoot who your neighbors in the hotel are. No more spoiled, drunken kids please! They might be able to sleep until noon or later the next day, I can't.

UN, very exciting about your relocation. Your take on it is right on, it might be a hassle right now but will definitely be rewarded later on with a great quality of life. That's what we all want isn't it?

NS, FAL, and everyone else - have a great start to the week. Take care everyone!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Unwasted;1532567 wrote: NS, it's a whole new world, isn't it? Alcohol changed my personality in a pretty big way -- almost created a split personality in me. I'm much more even keeled now and less dichotomized. have you done it? Just curious if you have time to write about your experience.

Un, this is so true! Before I became a binge drinker, people used to tell me "you are so sweet and so smart"! Now... my husband only refers to me as a stupid drunk bitch (after I have been drinking). Great support system, eh?! I would love to get my true personality back.

Much love and strength to you!

[Unwasted]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

MS, So glad to see you're back to posting! Well, I can't claim I don't have some days where I'm a bitch but all in all I know I'm a better EVERYTHING when not drinking. Even my bitchiness is better - :H I still catch myself now feeling like I need relief from whatever stressor is getting to me at the time, but I know it won't help me. Somehow now I can play it out in my brain ........... the whole scenario.... and I don't pick up. I still have very bad days (am also in the middle of a stressful life situation) but so far I've made it. I hope you can get back to racking up some AF days so you'll have that comparison etched solidly in your brain. I don't know what to say about your hubs situation - that doesn't sound good. All I know is that you have to do this for yourself and protect your sobriety. I hope you can come back to MWO on a regular basis? It helps so much, it really does. You have people here who can relate and you can vent about what's going on with you. We can be support! Welcome back!

Oh, and I forgot to mention books: there are so many. Please look around the site because they are mentioned everywhere. There's a section called What We're Reading somewhere, several mentioned on this thread, and then on and on. In the meantime, I'll try to go back to my Kindle and get some titles for you.

NS, you crack me up. I have to admit I too can only watch the talking heads with my political point of view. I did watch the others once upon a time, but now they just irritate me.

Alls, my move is actually scaring the shit out of me. I feel strange about it, because I'm kind of perversely attached to my house. But all our friends have moved to other cities, and we need to change our lives. We absolutely love the idea of where we're going, and I can't imagine staying where I'm at the rest of our lives. The stress is just something I'm going to have to endure because I know it will be worth it in the long run. The worst part is relocating my cats. They don't like change and I know it's going to be horribly stressful on them. And, because we're having to live in this tiny cabin while our house sells, the living situation for the cats is not great in the cabin. They're used to having a wonderful inside/outside area, and now they'll have to be inside a lot because of the cold. The outside area here is protected, and I'm in the process of adding a small area for them at the cabin. But, because of the extreme cold, they won't be able to go out that much.

But, even though I love them like they're my children, I can't not live the life we need to live because of them. Right? The other issue is that all the critters I've been feeding (wild, outside like the birds) won't have me to care for them with food and water. I have someone who is going to come by every week or so, but once the house sells, the caring for them could totally stop.

I know these sound like small problems but they are what drives me crazy and keeps me up at night! And, on top of that, there are financial issues which should all eventually work themselves out, but will be stressful initially.

ML, thank you again for your AB info. It helps a lot! That's exactly how I'm going to use (and have had in my mind to use it). I'm glad to hear you haven't had any kind of reaction.

FREE GLAD YOU'RE GETTING SOME RECEPTION so you can compute. Check in when you can so we don't worry about you.:l BTW, you are quite the outdoors woman, eh? I was fascinated reading your white water rafting story. You are so macha, girl! And, you have a big hiking trip planned too?? I'm duly impressed. My honeymoon was a white water rafting trip down the Snake River in Idaho. However, in stark contrast to what you described on Persephone's thread, it was very cushy with guides. You have my utmost respect with what you've done. I'm not that brave!!

Sorry to go on, but I had to vent. I feel better now. Thanks everyone for letting me have a shrink session (like you had a choice).:H

Hope everyone has a super day.

xx,
UN :lilheart:

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Mein Sonnenschein;1532882 wrote: Un, this is so true! Before I became a binge drinker, people used to tell me "you are so sweet and so smart"! Now... my husband only refers to me as a stupid drunk bitch (after I have been drinking). Great support system, eh?! I would love to get my true personality back.

Much love and strength to you!

Hi, MS

I guess you already found this thread that I suggested to you in your thread. If you read back a few weeks, you'll see several books and websites mentioned re: addiction.

Your posts sound like those of a nice, intelligent woman. I am so sorry that your husband has called you such a hurtful name. That is not what you are. When drunk, we may act stupidly and be bitchy but we are not ourselves when drinking. Which is why we have to stop.

I was living proof that alcohol is a depressant. I suppose at the beginning it perked me up and put me at ease at a party or whatever but for the last few years when I drank to go from feeling bad or perhaps ok to ok or at the most, good (never great), it very quickly made me sleepy and dull. I stopped doing/organizing events and activities and became very withdrawn and quiet. I rarely laughed. I could not feel joy from normal, happy things. I did not eagerly anticipate anything, except perhaps, drinking.

At first this was depressing effect was just in the evenings while I was drinking but eventually, my whole personality was dulled down.

What was remarkable was how quickly the 'old' me resurfaced shortly after I stopped drinking and especially after I decided that I was done forever. It almost felt like I was free to open up because I was no longer sneaking around -- I could talk because I didn't have to worry about telling the Big Secret or something.

Anyway, MS, get the drug out of your system for good and I bet you'll start feeling like the real you. Its too hard to do on your own so please stay close and let us help.

:h NS

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hey, UN

Think of how much $$ we are saving by letting our friends on MWO be our amateur psychiatrists and addiction counselors! The $$ we save by not drinking is impressive but given what shrinks and rehab cost, this is an awesome deal!

Given the very poor statistics for success of several addiction programs, this forum is pretty amazing. We can't get the data, of course, but there are enough successful examples to know that if used as designed, MWO can work!

I think we should all feel free to vent away! Just getting it out there relieves some of the pressure.

Have a great day, UN, MS, Free, AW, ML, and anyone else reading this thread.

Love, NS

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hello everyone,

I'm so irritated I typed a long post and it got deleted!

MS - Welcome! Use your husbands words to give you ammunition to quit drinking. It really will help you make changes in your life. It's like a snowball effect - little things start happening in a positive way that build up to bigger and bigger positive changes. You can do it!

UN - I'm sure your cats will adjust - sorry it's so hard for you right now! I lived in Alaska many years ago and I had cats and they loved it outside! They just got thick winter coats every year. And the critters in your back yard. LOL! I had to chuckle at that one - that sounds SO much like something I would do. Luckily I live around a lake and the ducks are fed by EVERYONE. So, they'd be fine if I left.

NS - you are so right Amateur psychiatrists!! We have saved $thousands...!

Well I got up early and went to the gym again today - it feels so great to do that now that I can. I can't believe all the years wasted getting up at 3 am racked with anxiety and then falling back asleep fitfully at 5:30 or so...just to get up and go to work an hour later feeling bad. What a waste!! I just shake my head thinking back on it. Talk about split personality!

Hope you all have a wonderful AF day.

[free at last]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Well friends, great to catch up on this thread, though I have not yet been able to watch the addiction videos. Hoping to do that soon.

Some big milestones to celebrate -- My Life, UnWasted -- congrats on your big numbers. And NS, you soon will celebrate six months -- yahoo!

Re my "former" life, before becoming a "responsible" adult and all the demands that come with that, I was quite physically active in the outdoors. Afraid now I am a middle-aged lady working to lose the 20 pounds I packed on from too many days with too little exercise, and too much red wine. The 100 mile hike (combination of staying in huts and camping) will probably take everything I have physcially and mentally. I usually find a way to dig deep into my reserves and just keep on plodding along. Kind of like my AF path -- just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try not to trip over obstacles.

I'm really enjoying this thread, even though I haven't been able to contribute as much as I would like.

Warmest,

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hey Guys,

Sounds like everyone is having a good day. ML, going to the gym and getting a workout first thing is the absolute best! It sets up the rest of the day to be great.

Hey FAL, I haven't read back enough to get the details of your hiking trip but there is nothing like getting on the trails. I have a 24 mile trail race in the fall and am leaving later this week to go sample the course. It's hot and humid as hell here in Ohio so I'm taking a camelbak and looking forward to every step of it.

Hey UN, I know change is unnerving but forging ahead is what we do, we'd still be drinking if we couldn't. The birds and beloved cats will adapt. I love seeing the birds at the feeder but know they'll do just fine when I leave, they have easy transport to where the food is and they know how to find it. Our feline friends are smart and adaptable as well. Maybe too smart, for me at least.

Have a great night/day everyone.

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Alls - I think your running is amazing. Wish I could do that,,, but you are right that morning workout sets the rest of the day. I felt great all day from that hour this morning!

Free - your hike sounds fantastic! Can't wait to hear all about it. And I totally relate to the one foot in front of the other. I tell myself of that often on this journey!

[Unwasted]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

NS, that's a crackup - you're right - between what we're saving on al and counseling, we should be able to buy a new boat or something. :H And the success rate of helping people here is probably as high as going to a professional.:H

ML, thanks for your Alaska story - that actually made me feel some relief knowing your kitties adjusted to the cold. I hope mine end up liking it. That's what I'm telling myself - that it might be BETTER for not just us, but them too. And, thanks for making me feel not so crazy by telling me about the ducks - I think it's because I didn't have children. My nurturing instincts need an outlet, so I baby all the critters around me.

Free, I used to be pretty macha myself. I've been dropped out of a helicopter in New Zealand and skied down a mountain (actually I was way over my head and kind of got talked into it). But, I did it and felt very studly (for a girl) afterward. One of my funniest stories is when a friend took me skiing for the first time. She and her husband were excellent skiers but accidentally got me on a black diamond slope MY VERY FIRST DAY ON THE MOUNTAIN. I cussed them for days after I slid most of the way down on my ass. It's funny only in hindsight.:H I'm really hoping to recoup some of my strength in the great outdoors. My husband is so excited, he can't see straight. He spent some formative years in Alaska and has always wanted to do this. The happiest I've ever seen him was during a rafting trip down a wild river - he really is made to be outside. If everything works out, we think we can go permanently around the end of September. BTW, I love your analogies - they are spot on!

When is your trip, Free? We are going to live vicariously through you on that one!

Alls, thank you so much for your comforting words. You have made me feel so much better. I tend to overthink everything and worry way too much. SO impressed with your running goals. I think you should post a picture of yourself here at the finish line. Just wear a hat and glasses and no one will figure out who you are!

MS, I hope you're doing okay and making some AF progress? Please take care.

Well, that's it for me today - just scurrying around making all kinds of plans. Glad to be doing it with a clear head. I absolutely couldn't imagine being able to do this hung!

Oh, one last thing. Katie Couric had an entire show on "Why Women Drink" yesterday. Nothing really new, but I thought it was fantastic that she devoted a program to it!

Have a super day and evening everyone.

UN :lilheart:

[free at last]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi UN and everyone,
My living room is filled with backpacks, sleeping bags, clothes and assorted gear. My poor dog is getting worried because the dogsitter came to visit yesterday and he hasn't seen his dog gear among the items. Will be offline for 16 days. I'm smarter this vacation than I was in May. No wine while watching the sunset or in camp.

UN -- the only time I went down a black diamond ski run was to take my skiis off and walk down the soft section near the trees. Afraid skiing is not one of my passions -- the kids whizzing by scare me to death.

Saw that you have/had a place in Telluride. I was traveling in Colorado 100 years ago and ended up in the town for the mushroom festival. It wasn't the most exciting of festivals but what a beautiful place.

Cannot get motivated to crank out my consulting work but will have to try for two more days.

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hello All,

Free - I had to laugh with your description of the camping gear all around the living room. That was us in June. And then we got back and it was all around the living room to get cleaned and re-stored. We STILL have some of it out there --- I think our daypacks which my husband was cleaning the water bladder things out...LOL. I had such a great time this year not drinking on our outdoor vacation I know you will too.

UN - that New Zealand ski experience sounds fantastic - but I'd be intimidated to do that now also! I grew up on skis (Alaska) and then lived in Colorado for years so I know all about the slopes. I haven't skiied in about 6 or 7 years now though. It's changed and I've changed - and I can't be bothered with all the snowboarders I guess! My husband also loves the outdoors - which his parents have no idea where he got that as he grew up in Florida LOL.

Today I made a decision to really start focusing on my diet - I've thought about it before - but I haven't been too diligent in my attempts! I've really got to get healthy in addition to being sober! Life can only get better with both those things in place!

Have a great AF day everyone. :l

[Gardener]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi MyLife - I am focusing on my diet too right now. It is helping me to not miss the alcohol so much as I am restricting food and am grateful for everything I do allow myself. I'm feeling like I would rather eat the calories rather than drink them.

I'm having two nutrition shakes per day and am supplementing that with fruits, vegetables and one healthy meal in the evening. It's working great. I get lots of healthy snacks, so I'm not really hungry. I've already lost 10 lbs. the first two weeks of being AF and watching my diet. Feeling better every day. Also exercising one hour per day, 5 days per week.

I could use a health buddy, if you want to compare notes.