7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

[retteacher]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

UW: I too had a relapse last summer after 3 years sober. It was so disappointing. I'm about 10 months sober again, but I still feel sad about the relapse. I just work on my sobriety one day at a time. I know how much better I feel sober...physically, emotionally, & spiritually. I won't go back to my old life. Mary

[mylife]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi All,

Quick check in for me. I had some thoughts again last night about AL but this morning as usual felt happy that I was AF. (sigh) I guess it's an ongoing process and I just need to accept that's the way it's gonna be!

Sounds like we're all on the exercise path here one way or another. I really feel it's helping me with endorphins and stress - it's the main reason for me that I'm doing it. Hopefully my replacement for Alcohol in that area!

retteacher - I remember reading your post after you relapsed. It's really something to realize that this is a lifelong process - and as you say - one day at a time. Congratulations on another 10 months.

Alls, NS, UN, FAL and anyone else who comes along today - wishing you a fantastic AF day.

[Pinecone]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi friends, I'm really enjoying this thread.

I went for a long hike on Sunday, and I got a huge dose of right feeling in my life from it. There is something about a long rhythmical excercise coupled with natural solitude that really does it for me.

Unwasted, I completely agree with you about excercise and quality of life. Almost always when I am starting to get down, angry or some other negative state, I can change my whole frame of mind just by moving and stretching a bit. There is a good article called 51 things you should know about addiction by spiritual river. It should come up if you google it, I'm posting by phone and not sure how to make a link. Anyway, it is a pretty good article and has lots about the holistic path of excercise. I think I have made the most mental progress with my alcoholism through excercise, but I'm not very articulate about it. To tell you the truth, I know it works firsthand, but I have no idea what's going on!!

Thanks to all the posters on this thread, I really benefit from all your posts.

Have a great AF day!

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Pinecone;1536040 wrote: Hi friends, I'm really enjoying this thread.

I went for a long hike on Sunday, and I got a huge dose of right feeling in my life from it. There is something about a long rhythmical excercise coupled with natural solitude that really does it for me.

Unwasted, I completely agree with you about excercise and quality of life. Almost always when I am starting to get down, angry or some other negative state, I can change my whole frame of mind just by moving and stretching a bit. There is a good article called 51 things you should know about addiction by spiritual river. It should come up if you google it, I'm posting by phone and not sure how to make a link. Anyway, it is a pretty good article and has lots about the holistic path of excercise. I think I have made the most mental progress with my alcoholism through excercise, but I'm not very articulate about it. To tell you the truth, I know it works firsthand, but I have no idea what's going on!!

Thanks to all the posters on this thread, I really benefit from all your posts.

Have a great AF day!

Great to have you here, Pinecone!

There usually are a few posts at least on this thread everyday. It is one I like to visit each day -- there are fun, informed, interesting people here (with more in common than just whupping up on AL!).

I checked out your link: 51 Things You Should Know About Addiction Recovery (I'm on my computer so its easier ). That is a fabulous list! You should post the link in the the Nest! I especially like this one b/c I'm a good exerciser and a poor meditationer (is that a word???):

9) A spiritual guru once said: ?If you only have time to either meditate or exercise, always choose the exercise.? The reason he said that is because exercise includes meditation, but has additional benefit as well. My best meditation sessions have always been while exercising. Not that meditation is useless?it is just that exercise is usually superior for most people (though they hate to admit it due to laziness!).

Hope you post here more often, Pinecone. Have a good AF day!

:h NS

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

mylife;1536033 wrote: I had some thoughts again last night about AL but this morning as usual felt happy that I was AF. (sigh) I guess it's an ongoing process and I just need to accept that's the way it's gonna be!
.
Hi, MyLife.

I would say thoughts of (not) drinking cross my mind most if not all days. Given that we are on here reading and posting on this subject, it would be pretty unusual for it not to occur to us at all, I think (not that I think we should leave MWO so as not to have this on our minds--- it needs to be there!!).

It doesn't hit me like I WANT/NEED A DRINK anymore. Now it's more of I would've been having a drink now, or even sometimes a bit of self-pitying, Too bad I'm not a person who can drink. But more and more often what crosses my mind is things like It's so great that I don't need to drink like I used to every day at this time. I guess it is ok with me if I think about alcohol each day, especially as the proportion of thoughts of being happy about not drinking dominate.

retteacher;1535897 wrote: UW: I too had a relapse last summer after 3 years sober. It was so disappointing. I'm about 10 months sober again, but I still feel sad about the relapse. I just work on my sobriety one day at a time. I know how much better I feel sober...physically, emotionally, & spiritually. I won't go back to my old life. Mary

Hi, Reteacher

I don't think I've met you or if I have, perhaps it was at the beginning when my brain was still addled... So, Hi!

I started following UN's thread because I wanted to learn about relapse after a good period of success. I can truly understand those that occur after 7 or 30 days, or even a couple months but the ones that occur later mystify and scare me! I'm eager to learn from those of you who have had that experience and are willing to share your story.


Hope everyone who reads and posts here has a fabulous AF day! :h NS

[Unwasted]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Pinecone and Reteacher, I am so excited to see you guys here. Pinecone, it seems we've been on MWO about the same amount of time - as is true for Alls and My Life. I hope you'll visit the thread often. Can you update us on how you're doing if you come back to the thread?

Mary, I have to say I'm shocked at your relapse and you KNOW that I don't mean that in a judgmental way at all. It's just that I would never have anticipated it. If someone had asked me "who do you think are the least likely people to relapse who post on MWO?", I would have said you and Doggygirl. I'm going on about this to address what No Sugar has brought up....just that it's so mystifying that someone could relapse after that long. But you know, I have to throw this in. I smoked cigarettes starting at age 14. I was never more than a 1/2 pack smoker at the very heaviest. Then, I got to where I'd only smoke when I was drinking (before I was an every day drinker). I had actually completely stopped for 10 years and then started doing the social drinking thing again. I know I'm rambling here, but I guess I'm just wanting to point out the connection and recognition that those "grooves" must always be there (or for a LONG time, anyway), which is why they say you're never really cured. When I first gave up AL, I think I let that idea send me back to drinking. You know, I thought.....if I'm going to always struggle with this, why not just struggle with drinking and have the option of escaping. WELL, of course, after going through all that I realize that the struggle with not drinking is LIGHT YEARS easier than the struggle with drinking. And, in fact, like No Sugar says, you start thinking about it analytically rather than wishing you could do it.

SO, MARY, I hope you come back to this thread and post some more. What do you think made you do it after so long? And, what's it like now that you're back to being sober?

Oh, and long story short I haven't had a cig in YEARS and have absolutely NO thoughts about wanting a cigarette!

Free, Hope you're still doing well on the remaining AF. Looking forward to hearing about the trip in more detail when you're back. AND, huge kudos for being able to be in a bar - that's strength! If you read this far back when you eventually post again, let us know exactly how you used the Antabuse. Did you take it every day of your hike?

Pinecone, Spiritual River is one of the VERY best things I've ever encountered relating to addiction. I don't know if any of you remember Sherry, but she's the one who first posted about it. I SO hated to see her leave - she was an AMAZING person who saved herself and a big component was attaining this kind of peacefulness through meditation and tools like Spiritual River. NS, thanks for the link. I had sort of forgotten about the site, but it is truly INVALUABLE. And, Pinecone, I know what you're saying about exercise and how it's hard to explain what it does for you. I actually think there's a really strong link between the "high" we get from exercise and the high we get from drinking. I think it's all related to the release of dopamine.

Alls, what have you been up to? Can you refresh my memory on where you are in the running for office? I can't remember the status, exactly. I know you just got back from some marathon pre-training. Would love to hear more about both!

ML, you're sounding good. It's so interesting to see your progress. I can remember from long ago how you would cave to drinking. We used to post together with Sharky and Jenni....can't remember the rest of Jenni's name - not Jenniech who posts here now but the other Jenni? I guess she's gone, but I see Sharky posting some in the posting of days thread - can't remember the title of it. But, anyway, the difference is remarkable. You/I used to always falter ......... we're doing so much better these days I think. Don't you? I can see a difference in your thinking and acceptance and success!

Wow, I didn't mean to go on to this extent, just really blabbed, didn't I? It's just exciting to me sometimes to have these little epiphanies and camaraderie with you guys. I don't think I'd be successful without the ability to "talk" to all of you and share this experience.

NO SUGAR - CAME BACK TO EDIT BECAUSE I JUST SAW YOUR 6-MONTH CELEBRATION THREAD!!! SO HONORED TO HAVE YOU HERE ON THIS THREAD! WAY TO GO GIRL - YOU ARE SUPER!!! I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR POSTING HERE AND ALWAYS GET SOMETHING IMPORTANT FROM YOUR WISE WORDS!!

Big hugs,

UN :lilheart:

[Pinecone]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hey Unwasted and NoSugar, thanks so much for the warm welcome! I have been having issues with "how to use MWO" in my head lately. I was reading this thread but honestly felt out of my league in this thread, there are some heavy thinkers here!

Another thing I heard recently and found interesting was an experiment where an alcoholic was shown a picture of beer and a brain scan showed lots of activity related to pleasure compared to a "normal" (still not sure about that concept either) drinker. When I go shopping, I don't even look at the beer. I don't want to see the labels or bottles or anything. It's just something I've done since I quit. I don't want any of that associated thinking. Just like Unwasted posted so well about the struggle with not drinking being easier than the struggle with drinking. That really puts it so well. Part of my "struggle" now days is kind of a daily maintenance, checking out my thoughts, thinking about my thinking. I really have trouble articulating it, that's why I'm so happy to hang out here. I know I have a lot to learn...

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi everyone,

Hey Pinecone, thanks for the compliment about us being heavy thinkers but I think we're all in the same kind of boat, just trying to get rid of AL after voluntarily reintroducing it in our lives after a wonderful period of clarity. I'm still bumming about a sudden, spur of the moment bad decision but that's life and we move on.

UN, I'm running for treasurer in the city I live in. It's a weird environment running for public office because you have an opponent that wants to do nothing more than tear you down. I took the high road on the last election and lost, I'll take the high road again and if I lose I'm done with politics. It's a tough business. I'm training for the Marine Corp Marathon in DC later this year. I love training for long races, it's my own kind of meditation.

ML, FAL, NS and everyone else - have a great day/evening friends!

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

BTW,

To Mary, if you come back to this thread I would like to let you know you've made a tremendous difference to me when I needed it most. The AA thread, the thoughtfulness, the insightful posts really resonated with me and thank you very much for all of it Mary.

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Pinecone;1536090 wrote:
Another thing I heard recently and found interesting was an experiment where an alcoholic was shown a picture of beer and a brain scan showed lots of activity related to pleasure compared to a "normal" (still not sure about that concept either) drinker. When I go shopping, I don't even look at the beer. I don't want to see the labels or bottles or anything. It's just something I've done since I quit. I don't want any of that associated thinking. Just like Unwasted posted so well about the struggle with not drinking being easier than the struggle with drinking. That really puts it so well. Part of my "struggle" now days is kind of a daily maintenance, checking out my thoughts, thinking about my thinking. I really have trouble articulating it, that's why I'm so happy to hang out here. I know I have a lot to learn...

Hey, Pinecone

I LOVE experiments and data!! It is pretty amazing how our brains work. I read that for a cocaine addict who always snorted from a $20 bill, even looking at money would trigger that part of the brain. What a mess that would be! At least we don't have to go to the liquor store or down the booze aisle.

I went out with some friends last night and they had a couple bottles of wine. When I went out with them a few times over the last several months, I was hyper-aware of everything about the wine, how much they drank, how quickly they drank, how much was left in the bottle, all that. I bet my brain was lit up! Last night I was aware of all that but not because I wanted any or was obsessing over the changes I had had to make in my life or anything like that - I wanted them to hurry up and be done so I could go home. I didn't feel my heart race or lurch at the sight of the glasses of wine and I didn't get that weird achy feeling in my throat. Once when I got a whiff of alcohol, the smell was actually unpleasant to me. Maybe I'm getting that part of my brain turned off in response to alchohol?? I sure hope so.

I think 'daily maintenance' is critical -- I suspect that relapse occurs when this part of it doesn't receive the regular attention it requires. I think complacency is a default position when things seem to be going well in many aspects of our lives. In this arena, it matters.
Does that make sense UN and Mary (who I hope comes back!)?

[Unwasted]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Pinecone, I've heard about those studies that show addicts' brains light up just by being shown something like a picture of their drug of choice. It sounds to me like you're in a good place - one where you're not letting yourself become complacent and taking your sobriety for granted. When we hear about people with long-term sobriety drinking it's a real wake up call.

NS, I haven't yet been in any situations like you describe. Luckily I've been able to avoid them, but I know they're coming. I think I'm secure enough now to be able to do it, but that's going to be my biggest challenge. What you said about wanting them to be finished so you could leave - I think that will be my reaction too. I find I'm not very social in the sense of wanting to sit down to dinner with people. I can get into things like going on a hike with a group - something centered around an activity, but not the sit down dinner. THAT was my VERY biggest reason to drink/celebrate so it's a weak spot for me. My biggest single goal would be to be able to actually be in a social situation where people are drinking like at a dinner and not have an inkling of wanting to drink. That would feel like true success in my books.

Alls, I so hear you about politics - everything I see seems to be based on tearing down one's opponent. I remember when it used to be different but things seem ugly and extreme now. It's a shame, because people who would be of good service just can't justify putting themselves through the agony. I wish it would change but.........not likely, eh? And it seems like the citizens on the fringe are the cause of it because they demand things that aren't reasonable, fuel it with big $$$, and get their way - like they hold the politicians hostage, really. Oh well..........anyway I hope it works out for you but I totally get your wanting to walk away if it doesn't

On to get some stuff done..............only a little over a week and I'm headed to the mountains - yay. Very excited!

My Life, Free, and anyone stopping by today, have a super AF day and evening.

[Pinecone]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Very interesting things being mentioned in this thread...

Unwasted, I have also noticed a change in the way I look at food too. I don't know if I've been out to eat at a restaurant since quitting, and I definitely try to avoid big "meal events" or social meals etc. I have become 98% vegetarian, and try to look at meals as a time to quietly nourish myself so that I can achieve my goals. The idea of a social event revolving around food has lost lots of appeal to me. I'm trying to learn about nutrition instead of just jamming food down my throat, and I've really been enjoying learning a new repertoire. While I was drinking I always wanted to do it but never had "the time."

NoSugar, that would be rough about the twenty dollar bill! I agree with you on complacency, we have to keep things leaning in the right direction.

Something I would like to start is a daily practice of meditation. Anyone have any good suggestions on a nuts and bolts guide?

Have a great AF day friends!

[NoSugar]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Pinecone;1536471 wrote:
Something I would like to start is a daily practice of meditation. Anyone have any good suggestions on a nuts and bolts guide?

I've made it all the way to the point of downloading a couple apps :H:H:H!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

Hi All, I really do enjoy this thread. This "51 Things You Should Know About Addiction Recovery" is a great link. #6 really rang true for me:

Almost everybody makes the mistake of crediting success in recovery with the tactics that got them sober. They might say ?This program saved my life.? This is faulty logic. The truth is any sensible program would have saved their life, because they were finally willing to put in the work. No program of recovery has any magic in it whatsoever. Don?t make the mistake of thinking that your salvation lies in the method. It is only in the application that you will succeed or fail in recovery.

This reminds me that we all have to muster the strength to DO IT. There is no magic pill or method, the will and strength has to come from within.

Free, I am thinking of you as well, every day.

[allswell]

7 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY BLOWN

I agree completely MS. There is no one to blame for putting me where I was except me and no method or program to take credit for where I'm at right now other than my determination to fix things and the hard work it involves. It is hard work! But much easier than carrying on status quo in a horrible place.