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**Running Aussie** · May 19, 2013, 12:39 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

I'm here with you. Feeling the same.

**NoSugar** · May 19, 2013, 12:51 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

Welcome back, Rednose!

As soon as you are ready, this really can be done - and it is worth it!

Please stick around this time through the good times and the bad - the support of the group can help bring you to the other side if you let it.

I'm glad you returned! :h NS

**Byrdlady** · May 19, 2013, 01:42 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

Hey Rednose!
We ALL understand. This is an opponent the likes of which I have never seen before. AL is out for all the marbles.

You know that song, 'Bridge over troubled water'? That's what MWO is.

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all.

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over trouble water
I will lay me down.

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way.

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

Welcome back, we are sailing right beside you....we can help. Byrdie

**scottish lass** · May 19, 2013, 01:44 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

rednose;1507753 wrote: You see I was
Going to be different than all of you, I was going to be the one that could control his drinking after a short stint of being sober.

Rednose - I so understand this, I know I had high hopes that I could be this person, and I think many others here too - I am still trying to make myself truly realise that this is not to be, but for some reason I keep on testing to see if something has changed - and DUH, nope it hasn't!!!
I do wish the penny would drop, but I am not giving up until I win this battle - we will do it one day...:l:l

**kuya** · May 19, 2013, 03:22 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

scottish lass;1507781 wrote: Rednose - I so understand this, I know I had high hopes that I could be this person, and I think many others here too - I am still trying to make myself truly realise that this is not to be, but for some reason I keep on testing to see if something has changed - and DUH, nope it hasn't!!!
I do wish the penny would drop, but I am not giving up until I win this battle - we will do it one day...:l:l

Accepting my alcoholism and that I needed the daily reminders of the power of this problem has kept me sober, I believe.

One day I will be strong enough alone, but fow now this place is my refuge, strength and place to pay forward to others.

It took months before I made friends that I really trust, those people are very important to me so why would I not want to come say hi ?

I suppose it depends on one's character, some say talking alcohol on a daily basis is bad, but for me it serves me well as a warning.

Sorry you are still drinking Rednose, but glad you are back to tackle it again so soon :h

**paulywogg** · May 19, 2013, 04:04 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

missed you around here rednose

**Siren136** · May 19, 2013, 04:13 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

Hi Red! You ARE different than you were before. You are wiser and have more personal insight. You are probably more humble, too. You realize that you need more support to quit AL. But you have the exact same ability to quit that you did before. And you still have us, too.

If today isn't day one, then use the rest of today to make your plan for tomorrow. You can do this. Welcome back.

**Mootsbill** · May 19, 2013, 05:39 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

Welcome back Rednose sorry your struggling but remember we've all been there many times so your in the right place for support. You sound low in your post, remember the al makes you depressed so if you could get a small amount of al free time under your belt that would start to shift good luck xx

**Guitarista** · May 19, 2013, 05:53 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

Hi Rednose,

Welcome back buddy.

For me, the choice is simple enough. Sober or drunk, Life or a slow suicide/death. But it has been difficult for me to get my head around the choice. It would be easy for me to just keep drinking and fade away and die, never reaching my potential.

Somehow, there was always a little flicker of light inside me, a little pilot light barely flickering away, way, way down deep inside, that I managed to grab a hold of. It is inside you somewhere too.

I have chosen to live, and I am angry that I have allowed booze to rob me of so much joy and life, relationships, and time. Get angry, and use that anger as a positive energy to lift you up and take back your precious life.

You mean something on this planet, and you are worth it.

C'mon, get a little do-able plan and go for it. We are all walking right beside you friend.

Best wishes, G bloke.

**Juja** · May 19, 2013, 07:53 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

Yes, you're different, rednose. You have to be. There's no way around it. You've learned lots, struggled, won, lost, won again, lost again, but you're no different from the rest of us poor strugglers. Don't give up, and don't beat yourself up. Get up, look in the mirror and see one positive thing. Something's there, I know You can't ever give up.

**jenniech** · May 19, 2013, 08:42 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

rednose
keep coming back and it will soon stick
we are here waiting for you

**jenniech** · May 19, 2013, 08:43 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

byrdlady
that song always brings tears to my eyes...thanks for posting

**hadit** · May 20, 2013, 05:30 AM

I am not any different than I was before.

Rednose, Welcome back. I remember you back in Jan? Have you thought about Medication? I have tried to do this thing for 4 or 5 years and finally went to my GP after so many Day 1s.He prescribed AB almost 13 days ago. I haven't had a drink since. There are lots of people taking this drug with lots of successes. It takes the decision whether TO DRINK or NOT TO DRINK out of the equation. You just can't......... unless you want to become very,very sick!! Good Luck.Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We are here for you!:welcome:

**Kradle123** · May 20, 2013, 12:58 PM

I am not any different than I was before.

rednose;1507753 wrote:
All I will say if you have one day sober or a thousand hold on to it with all your might.
Protect it as if it was a loved one or the most important thing in your life.
I wish I had. Now I hope somewhere I can find the courage just to be able to post on
Here that I have day one under my belt again. It looks very bleak and I am not sure I am
Up to it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this

Rednose. :thanks:

Hi Red:

That was an incredibly moving insight and plan you've posted. Every day we don't drink is exactly like a loved one, someone we have to protect and watch over.
Thank you for that perspective. I've been struggling myself lately and that is a huge help.:h

So glad you are back. :l

And Byrdie your post made me cry as well... such a tremendous song and so true about this place...
:l

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