Help - from other singles out there...

[mnorgard]

I've been lurking for a while - have called out for help a couple of times. I've decided this week is the week. A couple of extremely embarrassing incidents (I posted about my seemingly arrest a couple of weeks ago) have led me to believe that it's time to stop. Ok, so I have the knowledge - I know how to deal with cravings - I know I need to plan activities during the evening hours. My problem is - I live alone. And no matter how well I do, I still deal with those demons when I walk in the door. I can have the best of intentions - plan stuff with friends - not drink - walk in the door around 9:00 p.m. and, before you know it, I'm heading for the friendly 7-11. I've read all your posts about significant others and spouses and children - I wish I had someone to keep me grounded - give me a reason not to walk out that door at 9:30 - just to shut the demons up. Any other people out there that live alone? Any tips or suggestions? Does this all boil down to self control and willpower? If it is - I'm in trouble. Cause that hasn't really done it for me in the past. Any advice, support would be appreciated. I've read the book and I'm on 50 mg. of Topamax - with no noticed changes in feelings or cravings at all.

I've been reading for months - you guys seem great.

Marc

[pansy]

Help - from other singles out there...

Hi Marc,

Some would say that 50 of topa is not a very high dose, especially for a guy. I find that if I go up to 100 I definitely notice that I have a decrease in the desire to drink - and if I drop back down to 75 or 50 and stay AF, then I can maintain at a lower dose. So, for me topa is a great thing - especially because I have no one at home to stop me either!

I would suggest continuing to follow the dosing up schedule as outlined in the book. For many, topa works wonders. Also, don't forget the supplements too! It does work, it just takes time. You do also have to really work at it because you can drink over the topa, but many people hit a dose where the cravings seem to stop.

Good luck,
Pansy

[Elizabeth]

Help - from other singles out there...

Hi Marc, yes I remember you're posting from before. Hang in there. I know there are a lot of people here with families etc but like you I am single and I have found that since I stopped the boozing I have spent a lot of time doing things that had become a mere haze during my alcoholic days. I've contacted old friends whom I was delighted to find were happy (if not a bit surprised!) to re-ignite our friendships (in fact they wondered where the hell I'd gone). Its like coming in from the cold. I started the 'Body for Life' program at the gym, where I redeveloped old aqauintences and I'm slowly but surely finally fullfilling my 'wish list.' Everything falls into place when your'e sober. You'll see...... there'll be lots of nice surprizes waiting round the corner it just takes time. Who knows what new and exciting experiences are waiting for you. Good luck and stay determined.

[tea]

Help - from other singles out there...

Hi Marc, welcome back. Being in a couple is not always the help we think it will be, for example my ex drank too, lots and lots, he used to practically beg me to join in, it really seemed to annoy the hell out of him every time I said no and made him sarcastic and nasty every time he took a gulp .... it became easier just to join in. Just posting to let you know that there are two sides to the coin, partners are not always supportive of us but MWO'rs are. Keep looking in, reading and posting. Looking forward to getting to know you. Take care.

Lorna

[boycie]

Help - from other singles out there...

Hey Marc, Lorna is right on there my ex partner didn't want me to drink to excess but when she wanted to go to the pub we had to go regardless of how i felt about it. Sometimes partners want one thing but aren't prepared to support via self sacrefice so sometime on your own is a good thing only one set of issues to deal with. Hang in there, always here for you Kim