I always drank too much but everything took a major downturn a few years ago when my mother died. I just couldn?t cope, and I withdrew. And then my boyfriend left me for someone else. And then I almost got evicted. And then this and that and this and that ... just a downward spiral. I feel like such a weakling for always turning to alcohol, because it gives me that (false) feeling of ?everything?s going to be okay.?
It?s funny because when I do manage to get a few sober days under my belt, the ?everything?s going to be okay? feeling is even more euphoric - it?s like the heavens open up and I?m like, wow, I have no desire to ever drink again! But then some Thing happens, and I crash and reach for the bottle and the whole cycle begins again.
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