WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

[goofygirl]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Thanks Siren!

Yup, positive thinking and strategic planning It's like damn cigarettes! You're addicted to the substance. That's all. Do you think it runs in a family? My father was an alcoholic and my mother ended up just the same. Always drunk. Oh, and that was the only time when they would be in a good mood. You could actually talk to them like they were normal parents. Till they passed out. It must be a gene or something. Mind over body... Mind over body... What does work for you the best?

[Siren136]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

goofygirl;1512719 wrote: Yup, positive thinking and strategic planning It's like damn cigarettes! You're addicted to the substance. That's all. Do you think it runs in a family? My father was an alcoholic and my mother ended up just the same. Always drunk. Oh, and that was the only time when they would be in a good mood. You could actually talk to them like they were normal parents. Till they passed out. It must be a gene or something. Mind over body... Mind over body... What does work for you the best?

Umm, were your parents related?? :H:H Just kidding - the way you phrased that is sounded like they were - But I know what you mean. I bet that if your parents would have been AF for a while their moods would have improved.

Yes, I think science has established that addiction very much runs in families. I think there is a genetic component and then it's reinforced when children watch their parents engage in the behavior.

[K9Lover]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Hi Goofy!

I hope you're doing okay today! For Friday and Saturday nights you need to stay very busy and go somewhere that drinking is not an option. Maybe you can go to a movie, or even the library. When I first quit I had to stay away from home, because home is where I quietly (sometimes not so quietly!) slid into oblivion every night, alone. Break the habit and soon new ones will form. Do whatever it takes to stay busy, and remember that you won't have to do that forever, just for now.

Keep us posted!

K9

[goofygirl]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Thanks K9 And Siren. K9, thanks for the advice. I'll tell my boyfriend to stop working and ask him to go out with me. He works from home, but he's always busy doing something and almost never available. Get lots of my fav food... Mmm... Fresh bread, cold cuts and pierogies... :H Yesterday I was sitting at my desk and as I was chipping away at my work, I caught myself thinking of that f..ing bottle again. I was like: am I going to get one bottle of wine only or that and something else? Ugh...

[free at last]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Hi goofygirl, just checking in to see how you are doing. I have found that a daily accountability thread helps me. Funny how you start to become accountable to anonymous people.

This is a difficult path, but many on this site have traveled it and we can learn from them.

Stay close!

[NoSugar]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Free -I thought you were supposed to be asleep! Or is it tomorrow already??? :H

:h NS

[free at last]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Dear NoSugar, thanks for asking about me. I am completely out of sync. Slept 5 hours, now can't sleep and awoke to check emails and see a report for my client I need to prepare. Full day of meetings "today" (June 2) and a full day tomorrow June 3rd, then it is back another 8 time zones for a few days of work, and finally back to USA (13 time zones) on Sunday. This jetting around is never easy, but being AF makes it a little less stressful.

Now, goofy girl -- we are here for you in this struggle. I have been where you are, with the constant struggle, not wanting to drink wine, but buying it and drinking it anyway. My advice, if you bought some, pour it out. First step to regaining your freedom. Second step, post as often as you can. The times I strayed from my AF path were when I didn't have a decent internet connection and went too long without checking in with my AF buddies. Third, join us in the AF June threads -- there is a group of people just starting on their AF journey and strength is gained in reinforcements. You are among friends and supportive people here. Will be checking in on you again. Stay with it!

[goofygirl]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Hello guys!

Thank you Free at Last... Thank you All. I feel like a piece of shit. I am a piece of shit. I had 2 cans of beer last night and I also made my non drinking boyfriend have it. And this was my reason when I went to a liquor store and bought it: This is going to be my last drinking weekend evening before I say good buy to alcohol for good! and I lasted a whole week and I should reward myself. :sigh: I failed you guys and I failed myself too. I'm weak and pathetic. I woke up this morning thinking about that bottle again!!! I know where this is going to lead from now on; I'll keep drinking till Monday night. If I'll buy more today... I'm going to make sure my BF comes with my to the grocery store... Have any of you done such a shitty thing in the past too? I know, I'm just trying to make myself feel better.
Okay, I went online to look up supplements to help control alcohol cravings and came across L-Glutamine. Have any of you tried it yet? Does it work? Thanks for any feedback on this.

[free at last]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Dear Goofygirl, you are human -- with all the frailities, strengths, and charms that come with that. Please stop beating yourself up. It's a new day, start now. I have heard people say the L-Glutamine works well. I travel so much I haven't had a chance to even get some to add to my arsenal.

Now, let's see what is your plan for getting through today's difficult hours? Come back and post it, then write MWO if you come close to deviating from it. Because we are a global community, some one is usually on line and will try to help talk you out of any destructive course of action.

Please start acting on the positive desire to be free of the chains of alcohol that your heart, mind, and soul are telling you are what you need, deserve, and want. All you have to think about is today, this moment.

[NoSugar]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Free is completely on target! Please open your heart and mind to what she and others all over MWO have written.

You are not 'a piece of shit'. You are a lovely human who deserves a good life who is addicted to alcohol. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love who had an addiction. With time AF, you will be able to love yourself again.

I have found the L-glutamine to be very helpful.

This is hard but it is worth it - please keep trying!

[free at last]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Hi Goofy girl, Just checking in to see how you are doing. Let us know, ok?

[Daily wine]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

HI Goofy Girl,
I feel the same as you drank a whole bottle of wine last night because I was stressed over my teenager. I got some Lglut in powder form and mixing with a little water. Not sure if I can take too much but certainly don't want a repeat of last night.
DW

[gofig07]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Daily wine;1515894 wrote: HI Goofy Girl,
I feel the same as you drank a whole bottle of wine last night because I was stressed over my teenager. I got some Lglut in powder form and mixing with a little water. Not sure if I can take too much but certainly don't want a repeat of last night.
DW

I did too, and since I ran 6 miles yesterday it hit me harder than normal and I am sick today, my body is not happy.

I am like you Goofy Girl....I never had a problem with alcohol, did not drink in my college years or raising a family. Over the last 5 years I have gone from a glass of wine here and there....to a wine daily so I could sleep and relax...and over the last year I graduated to a 1/2 bottle then the whole bottle several nights a week. URG ! I too am trying to keep how much I am drinking from my husband. He is a beer drinker who can have it or not. I started drinking with him and now I am the one with the problem.

I found this site a few days ago :new: and I ordered the extreme starter kit.

I am pulling for you and certainly can sympathize with how you are feeling.

I am reading Freedom from Addiction by Neil Anderson. I hope it hits me hard and knocks some sense into me !

[K9Lover]

WTF Am I Doing to Myself???

Hi Goofy!
Yes, we've all done stuff like you did and much, much worse. You should read this thread:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...119-23467.html

Everytime it gets "bumped" up for someone new to read, I feel complled to add yet another story. LOL

Your description of being pulled to the liquor store like a magnet attached to your forehead really hit home with me. That's exactly how I was! I'd be paying for beer and cigarettes on auto pilot. Then I'd proceed to drink 12 beers every night with no memory of any of it. And what transpired between beer 1 and beer 12 was not pretty, let me tell you.

I don't think you should resign yourself to a weekend of drinking. If you quit on a Friday, you'll get your first few days AND your first weekend all over with at once!

Please hang in there and let us know how you're doing!

K9