Found this article online. Hope it helps those of us that get harassed for not drinking. Enjoy!
Western society is geared towards drinking. It's considered a normal, acceptable thing to do in social situations. It's to the point that if someone isn't drinking they often get a ton of hassles from other people about it. Any of the following could happen:
•They get nagged and questioned about their lack of drinking all night.
•Even if they don't get directly nagged, when they tell people they aren't drinking they get looked at like they're a mutant.
•They're generally seen as lame, boring, and less fun. Some people even have the attitude that if someone isn't drinking at an event, they're not being fun, regardless of whether they're right in there otherwise, doing the exact same things that everyone else is.
•People may avoid them to hang out with their friends who are drinking, because they 'know' those folks must be a better time.
•Some people treat them like they're purposely not drinking in order to be a stick in the mud and kill everyone's buzz.
•They believe that anyone who says they don't want to drink just doesn't know what they're missing, and needs to be encouraged to give it a try.
•If someone isn't drinking, or drinking as much as their friends, and they so much as look tired, or bored, or annoyed for a split second, people will pounce on that and think, "If they were just drinking they wouldn't feel that way!"
•They're seen as sheltered, conservative, or old-fashioned.
•Some people may get angry and confront them about why they aren't drinking, and demand to know what they have against it.
•People may assume they're some kind of snob who thinks they're better than everyone.
•People may assume the only reason they're not drinking is because they need to learn to loosen up, or come out of their shell, and try to "help" them by bugging them to drink.
•Some people may very well know the person doesn't drink, but can't resist the urge to needle them about it every time alcohol appears. They've been running the same few jokes into the ground for years.
•Some people have a view where they see the universe as being out of balance unless everyone at the party/table is drinking. If someone isn't they can't seem to let it go, and will do anything to restore order to the cosmos.
•Some people will be straight up jerks and call you a lame ass for not drinking. Others are more just ignorant and curious. They may not be able to conceive of a world where everyone doesn't want to drink. Although their questioning you about your non-drinking isn't malicious, they may still not phrase things in the most sensitive way, and come off as rude and annoying.
•They may eventually slowly be pushed out of their social circle, because they're not into consuming alcohol like everyone else.
People who are known to totally abstain get it the worst, but all these annoyances can afflict someone who just doesn't feel like drinking that night, or who doesn't want to consume as much as their peers. Sometimes you'll even get a situation where, say, a person who's decided they only want to get buzzed that night will be nagging someone who isn't drinking at all. However, the buzzed person will resent being pressured to do shots from their buddies who like to get completely hammered four times a week. It's weird how it's all relative like that.
Younger people can be worse about doing all of the above, but older adults often aren't much better. At least with adults, you'd think they would be a little more mature and understanding of people's life choices and differences. Adults are also more aware of alcoholism, and realize that if someone isn't drinking at a party, it may be because they're trying to stay sober, and it would be harmful to pressure them. That someone might be an alcoholic generally isn't on the minds of the nineteen-year-old crowd.
I'll say something a bit controversial and point out that occasionally some of the assumptions I listed above do have a ring of truth to them. I'm sure there are times where someone would have more fun if they'd just loosen up a bit and have a drink or two. Sometimes people resist drinking for a while, try it one day, then look back and realize they were actually a bit uptight about the whole thing. But but but but but, none of that matters or holds any weight as an argument. If someone doesn't want to drink, that's their choice, and they shouldn't have to get harassed about it.
Below are my thoughts on how you can avoid some of the hassles:
Realize lots of people aren't into drinking
This isn't a practical tip so much as something that may make you feel better and strengthen your resolve. It's something that will often be told to college students who feel they can't relate to the drinking scene on their campus. When you don't drink it can feel like everyone else in the world cares about nothing else than getting hammered and passing out on bathroom floors. In reality, a lot of people don't drink. They just don't make as much noise. Society has a bit of a blind spot to them as well. Some people don't drink at all, while plenty of others enjoy the odd glass of wine or chance to catch a mild buzz, but they have no interest in getting completely wasted and the culture that goes with that.
Just accept that no matter what you do there will be times where you can't win with people
Swathes of people are biased towards non-drinking. If you're around them there will be times where you're just going to catch some flak. You can have the most clever lines in the world ready to go, and you can feel totally confident in your choice, but when you explain that you're not drinking the dumb comments are still going to come at you fast and furious. It can help if you just accept some of it is going to be inevitable.
Stay away from situations that involve drinking
I'll put the most obvious piece of usable advice first. If you're totally not into drinking and that lifestyle, just hang out with a crowd that has other priorities. Don't go to bars on Saturday nights. Have fun in one of the hundred ways other than getting messed up.
That said, it's often pretty hard to avoid alcohol all together. Whenever you get a group of people together for some special occasion, it's probably going to appear. Even the most sophisticated art showing will likely serve wine. And then there are the weddings and staff parties. Or you may have to go into a bar, like to see a concert. Overall though, you can keep drinking out of your life most of the time if you try.
Depending on what you want, avoiding alcohol may be all you need. But what if you do find yourself in the occasional situation where it's around? Or what if you have no problem with being around drinkers, or in drinking-related places, but just don't want to do it yourself?
Set things up so you don't have to drink
If you're the designated driver, or you truly have to get up early the next day, or you're seriously training for a sport, no one can really argue with you that much if you don't drink. The situation prevents it. Of course, sometimes you'll still get people who say things like, "You have to drive?! Yeah, like in three hours from now! Come'on, one shot won't kill you!" However, having these legitimate excuses will take a lot of the pressure off you.
Use well-tested assertiveness skills>
If asked why you're not drinking, one response is to just politely, but confidently, say that you don't drink (or that you don't feel like it at the moment, or that you're keeping it to two beers this evening). Be totally comfortable with that fact. Be self-assured, but in a casual, friendly way, like your not drinking isn't a big deal at all, and you're pushing their question aside. A mistake some people make is they act kind of overly firm, or over-assertive, which their audience may take as rude or confrontational.
If you get challenged, just keep up that cheerful but self-assured tone and restate that you don't feel like drinking. Don't get flustered and defensive. Don't argue with them. If they joke around and bust your balls, take it in good humor. Just kind of nicely brush them off. If they won't let it go, use the classic broken record technique. Don't give them any new material to respond to and just keep repeating something like, "Nah, I'm good. Thanks" until they give up.
Being direct takes on a whole different flavor if you actually are trying to cut down your alcohol use, or maintain your sobriety after quitting. If you try to politely and vaguely tell someone that you're not interested in drinking, and they continue to push the point, you can matter-of-factly tell them what your situation is. Only the biggest jerk would still continue to bug you after that.
Just make something up to get people off your back
Being straightforward and assertive works in a lot of cases. Sometimes we figure it will create more problems than it's worth though. In that case another popular strategy is to be mildly deceptive to make everyone leave you alone. Some are opposed to this approach, and think they shouldn't have to hide their non-drinking. Other people are fine with it, and think it's just an easy, practical way to avoid getting bothered.
This strategy tends to work best for one-off encounters with people you don't know that well. If you're with a group of old friends, and they all know you don't drink, you can't exactly lie to them.
If you run into an acquaintance at a club and they ask where your drink is, you could say something like:
•"I'm good for now. I just had one a second ago."
•"I'm taking it easy tonight. I hit it hard on Friday."
•"I gotta go catch up with my old friend first, so I'll wait in line to get one after I find her."
You could also pretend a more legitimate excuse applies to you when it actually doesn't:
•"I gotta get up early tomorrow."
•"I'm the designated driver."
•"I have to drive home."
•"I'm running a marathon in two days."
•"I'm trying to get in shape and don't want the calories" (This'll only work with a certain crowd as you can probably imagine).
Sometimes this works, the person leaves you alone, and you can continue not drinking and hope they don't notice for the rest of the night. Doesn't always go that way though. The person may not believe your excuse, or insist you have a drink anyways.
There are two other types of statements you could try. They're a little more extreme in that it's hard to argue with them, but they involve possibly taking the conversation in an unwanted heavy, serious direction. You can either say you don't drink because some people in your family have problems with alcoholism, or that you're on a type of medication/have a medical condition that you can't mix with alcohol. Of course, for some people who don't want to drink these reasons may really apply to them.
Imply you're drinking more than you are, or that you're drinking at all
This is the other classic way to be sneaky:
•If you're drinking, but just don't want to get drunk, then nurse a single beer for hours and let people assume it's more than one.
•Order an orange juice or a coke, and don't do anything to dissuade people from assuming you're having a mixed drink. On the off chance that someone asks what you've got, feel free to admit there's no alcohol in it, and turn to one of the other strategies. Nothing wrong with having a Sprite. If you want to drink, just not too much, you could also cycle between mixed drinks and similar looking non-alcoholic ones.
•There's a risk of getting caught, but sometimes people will even do things to discreetly get rid of their drink. Like they may have half a beer left they don't want to finish and just leave it somewhere at the bar, or pour it down the bathroom sink at a party. If someone orders a round of shots for everyone, and it would be awkward to say no, a person could pretend to swallow theirs, then quietly pour it on the ground.
•Here's another shot-avoiding trick you can try if you have a type of beer where the contents of the bottle aren't visible: You take a pretend chaser after the shot, and spit the alcohol into the beer container. Then you just have to ditch the nasty beer/shot/saliva concoction you've created when you have a chance.
Don't use rookie explanations for not drinking
The biggest being, "I just don't like the taste." This immediately brands you as a naive drinking newbie. It sounds so naive because it's not true; a) some alcoholic drinks do taste good, not everything is cheap beer and nasty fire liquor, b) several drinks are acquired tastes, and c) it's obviously about more than just the taste.
To a certain type of person, "I don't like the taste" basically screams, "I've only drank a handful of times. Please gently push me to drink more so I can learn how fun it can be!!!!" or "Please corner me and tell me about craft brews or cocktails I might enjoy." Also, don't lie and say you're not drinking because of how hammered you got last night, if it's obvious you're not the type of person who would do that.
Don't go out of your way to let people know you don't drink, especially when alcohol is around
Do what you can to avoid drinking, but for the most part be low key about it. Fly under the radar. Like I mentioned at the start of the article, if some people find out you don't drink, they can get surprisingly defensive and challenging about it. They may feel you have something against how they live their lives, or that you think you're better than them. They may badger you or try to convince you to change your mind. Sometimes they're coming from a well-intentioned place and genuinely think you need to loosen up and give it a chance. At other times you've made them feel insecure about their own habits and they want to get you to back down, so they can reaffirm their views.
It's one thing for this to happen when you're eating lunch with a bunch of people. It's especially touch-and-go in situations where there's alcohol around. The vibe of the situation can suddenly turn from "Everyone is having fun" to "Everyone's having a tense debate about whether drinking is okay" or "Some people are hassling this one person to drink, he's not giving in, and everyone is getting annoyed at each other." Better to avoid that whole situation.
There's a counterpoint to this suggestion though: By being vocal about the fact that you don't drink you may unwittingly be inspiring or supporting someone else who is struggling with a drinking problem, but is battling the societal pressure to do it anyways. By remaining silent, you're supporting a toxic aspect of our culture by omission. This is a very valid point. I think everyone should size up their particular context, company, and situation. They may decide the right thing to do is speak up. At other times they may decide it's not necessary.
Be able to be fun
If you don't drink, but you can still have fun while you're out, most people will be a lot more accepting of your being sober. It's just that everyone has had the experience of having a non-drinker around and they didn't want to do anything. And everyone was sure they would have loosened up if they would just have had a beer or two. If you're not going to drink, still do your best to be good company. Or if you find you have no interest in being 'fun' in the way drinkers usually define the word, then that's a sign you may be better off avoiding that crowd altogether.
Be able to keep up with the activities drinkers like to take part in
People who have been drinking are more likely to do certain activities over others. They also like doing certain things for longer than sober people would. When you're sober, sitting around and talking can make you feel a little restless before long. When you're having drinks you'll happily do it all night. If you like dancing, you'll do it for hours when you've got some alcohol in you. Sober, not so much. If you don't drink, you still have to be able to keep up with these activities when they come up. You may have to grow a thick skin for long pub conversations, or develop the guts to dance sober. Or again, you can try your best to avoid these situations.
Develop a tolerance for drunk people
Drunk people are boring and irritating if you're sober. But that's sort of missing the point, since they're not meant to be fun for sober people to be with. You're supposed to be buzzed right along with them. Then they're fine (more or less). If you don't want to drink, you've got to be really good-humored about having your mentally regressed, giggly friends around. Don't take their behavior personally. They're just being drunk, not purposely trying to get under your skin, although it can sure feel that way.
Strategically compromise now and again
Assuming you're not for 100% total abstinence, and are instead not drinking just because you'd prefer not to whenever possible, consider compromising on occasion. This is a pretty practical point. You may find it more trouble than it's worth to not drink at all in some situations. If someone offers to buy you a drink, and would be highly offended if you turned them down, then accept it. If you're at a pub and your friends really want to share a pitcher, have a glass. Don't get totally wasted, but avoid the unwanted hassle that would come from your insisting on not having one single drop.
Don't tell people you're never going to drink
This applies if you're younger and can just make you look silly down the road. There are plenty of people who didn't drink in high school, or even in college, who said they were never going to. Then one day they tried it and became casual, social drinkers like so many others. You can't really say what your attitude will be like in a few years, especially once you're legal drinking age.
Allan
Western society is geared towards drinking. It's considered a normal, acceptable thing to do in social situations. It's to the point that if someone isn't drinking they often get a ton of hassles from other people about it. Any of the following could happen:
•They get nagged and questioned about their lack of drinking all night.
•Even if they don't get directly nagged, when they tell people they aren't drinking they get looked at like they're a mutant.
•They're generally seen as lame, boring, and less fun. Some people even have the attitude that if someone isn't drinking at an event, they're not being fun, regardless of whether they're right in there otherwise, doing the exact same things that everyone else is.
•People may avoid them to hang out with their friends who are drinking, because they 'know' those folks must be a better time.
•Some people treat them like they're purposely not drinking in order to be a stick in the mud and kill everyone's buzz.
•They believe that anyone who says they don't want to drink just doesn't know what they're missing, and needs to be encouraged to give it a try.
•If someone isn't drinking, or drinking as much as their friends, and they so much as look tired, or bored, or annoyed for a split second, people will pounce on that and think, "If they were just drinking they wouldn't feel that way!"
•They're seen as sheltered, conservative, or old-fashioned.
•Some people may get angry and confront them about why they aren't drinking, and demand to know what they have against it.
•People may assume they're some kind of snob who thinks they're better than everyone.
•People may assume the only reason they're not drinking is because they need to learn to loosen up, or come out of their shell, and try to "help" them by bugging them to drink.
•Some people may very well know the person doesn't drink, but can't resist the urge to needle them about it every time alcohol appears. They've been running the same few jokes into the ground for years.
•Some people have a view where they see the universe as being out of balance unless everyone at the party/table is drinking. If someone isn't they can't seem to let it go, and will do anything to restore order to the cosmos.
•Some people will be straight up jerks and call you a lame ass for not drinking. Others are more just ignorant and curious. They may not be able to conceive of a world where everyone doesn't want to drink. Although their questioning you about your non-drinking isn't malicious, they may still not phrase things in the most sensitive way, and come off as rude and annoying.
•They may eventually slowly be pushed out of their social circle, because they're not into consuming alcohol like everyone else.
People who are known to totally abstain get it the worst, but all these annoyances can afflict someone who just doesn't feel like drinking that night, or who doesn't want to consume as much as their peers. Sometimes you'll even get a situation where, say, a person who's decided they only want to get buzzed that night will be nagging someone who isn't drinking at all. However, the buzzed person will resent being pressured to do shots from their buddies who like to get completely hammered four times a week. It's weird how it's all relative like that.
Younger people can be worse about doing all of the above, but older adults often aren't much better. At least with adults, you'd think they would be a little more mature and understanding of people's life choices and differences. Adults are also more aware of alcoholism, and realize that if someone isn't drinking at a party, it may be because they're trying to stay sober, and it would be harmful to pressure them. That someone might be an alcoholic generally isn't on the minds of the nineteen-year-old crowd.
I'll say something a bit controversial and point out that occasionally some of the assumptions I listed above do have a ring of truth to them. I'm sure there are times where someone would have more fun if they'd just loosen up a bit and have a drink or two. Sometimes people resist drinking for a while, try it one day, then look back and realize they were actually a bit uptight about the whole thing. But but but but but, none of that matters or holds any weight as an argument. If someone doesn't want to drink, that's their choice, and they shouldn't have to get harassed about it.
Below are my thoughts on how you can avoid some of the hassles:
Realize lots of people aren't into drinking
This isn't a practical tip so much as something that may make you feel better and strengthen your resolve. It's something that will often be told to college students who feel they can't relate to the drinking scene on their campus. When you don't drink it can feel like everyone else in the world cares about nothing else than getting hammered and passing out on bathroom floors. In reality, a lot of people don't drink. They just don't make as much noise. Society has a bit of a blind spot to them as well. Some people don't drink at all, while plenty of others enjoy the odd glass of wine or chance to catch a mild buzz, but they have no interest in getting completely wasted and the culture that goes with that.
Just accept that no matter what you do there will be times where you can't win with people
Swathes of people are biased towards non-drinking. If you're around them there will be times where you're just going to catch some flak. You can have the most clever lines in the world ready to go, and you can feel totally confident in your choice, but when you explain that you're not drinking the dumb comments are still going to come at you fast and furious. It can help if you just accept some of it is going to be inevitable.
Stay away from situations that involve drinking
I'll put the most obvious piece of usable advice first. If you're totally not into drinking and that lifestyle, just hang out with a crowd that has other priorities. Don't go to bars on Saturday nights. Have fun in one of the hundred ways other than getting messed up.
That said, it's often pretty hard to avoid alcohol all together. Whenever you get a group of people together for some special occasion, it's probably going to appear. Even the most sophisticated art showing will likely serve wine. And then there are the weddings and staff parties. Or you may have to go into a bar, like to see a concert. Overall though, you can keep drinking out of your life most of the time if you try.
Depending on what you want, avoiding alcohol may be all you need. But what if you do find yourself in the occasional situation where it's around? Or what if you have no problem with being around drinkers, or in drinking-related places, but just don't want to do it yourself?
Set things up so you don't have to drink
If you're the designated driver, or you truly have to get up early the next day, or you're seriously training for a sport, no one can really argue with you that much if you don't drink. The situation prevents it. Of course, sometimes you'll still get people who say things like, "You have to drive?! Yeah, like in three hours from now! Come'on, one shot won't kill you!" However, having these legitimate excuses will take a lot of the pressure off you.
Use well-tested assertiveness skills>
If asked why you're not drinking, one response is to just politely, but confidently, say that you don't drink (or that you don't feel like it at the moment, or that you're keeping it to two beers this evening). Be totally comfortable with that fact. Be self-assured, but in a casual, friendly way, like your not drinking isn't a big deal at all, and you're pushing their question aside. A mistake some people make is they act kind of overly firm, or over-assertive, which their audience may take as rude or confrontational.
If you get challenged, just keep up that cheerful but self-assured tone and restate that you don't feel like drinking. Don't get flustered and defensive. Don't argue with them. If they joke around and bust your balls, take it in good humor. Just kind of nicely brush them off. If they won't let it go, use the classic broken record technique. Don't give them any new material to respond to and just keep repeating something like, "Nah, I'm good. Thanks" until they give up.
Being direct takes on a whole different flavor if you actually are trying to cut down your alcohol use, or maintain your sobriety after quitting. If you try to politely and vaguely tell someone that you're not interested in drinking, and they continue to push the point, you can matter-of-factly tell them what your situation is. Only the biggest jerk would still continue to bug you after that.
Just make something up to get people off your back
Being straightforward and assertive works in a lot of cases. Sometimes we figure it will create more problems than it's worth though. In that case another popular strategy is to be mildly deceptive to make everyone leave you alone. Some are opposed to this approach, and think they shouldn't have to hide their non-drinking. Other people are fine with it, and think it's just an easy, practical way to avoid getting bothered.
This strategy tends to work best for one-off encounters with people you don't know that well. If you're with a group of old friends, and they all know you don't drink, you can't exactly lie to them.
If you run into an acquaintance at a club and they ask where your drink is, you could say something like:
•"I'm good for now. I just had one a second ago."
•"I'm taking it easy tonight. I hit it hard on Friday."
•"I gotta go catch up with my old friend first, so I'll wait in line to get one after I find her."
You could also pretend a more legitimate excuse applies to you when it actually doesn't:
•"I gotta get up early tomorrow."
•"I'm the designated driver."
•"I have to drive home."
•"I'm running a marathon in two days."
•"I'm trying to get in shape and don't want the calories" (This'll only work with a certain crowd as you can probably imagine).
Sometimes this works, the person leaves you alone, and you can continue not drinking and hope they don't notice for the rest of the night. Doesn't always go that way though. The person may not believe your excuse, or insist you have a drink anyways.
There are two other types of statements you could try. They're a little more extreme in that it's hard to argue with them, but they involve possibly taking the conversation in an unwanted heavy, serious direction. You can either say you don't drink because some people in your family have problems with alcoholism, or that you're on a type of medication/have a medical condition that you can't mix with alcohol. Of course, for some people who don't want to drink these reasons may really apply to them.
Imply you're drinking more than you are, or that you're drinking at all
This is the other classic way to be sneaky:
•If you're drinking, but just don't want to get drunk, then nurse a single beer for hours and let people assume it's more than one.
•Order an orange juice or a coke, and don't do anything to dissuade people from assuming you're having a mixed drink. On the off chance that someone asks what you've got, feel free to admit there's no alcohol in it, and turn to one of the other strategies. Nothing wrong with having a Sprite. If you want to drink, just not too much, you could also cycle between mixed drinks and similar looking non-alcoholic ones.
•There's a risk of getting caught, but sometimes people will even do things to discreetly get rid of their drink. Like they may have half a beer left they don't want to finish and just leave it somewhere at the bar, or pour it down the bathroom sink at a party. If someone orders a round of shots for everyone, and it would be awkward to say no, a person could pretend to swallow theirs, then quietly pour it on the ground.
•Here's another shot-avoiding trick you can try if you have a type of beer where the contents of the bottle aren't visible: You take a pretend chaser after the shot, and spit the alcohol into the beer container. Then you just have to ditch the nasty beer/shot/saliva concoction you've created when you have a chance.
Don't use rookie explanations for not drinking
The biggest being, "I just don't like the taste." This immediately brands you as a naive drinking newbie. It sounds so naive because it's not true; a) some alcoholic drinks do taste good, not everything is cheap beer and nasty fire liquor, b) several drinks are acquired tastes, and c) it's obviously about more than just the taste.
To a certain type of person, "I don't like the taste" basically screams, "I've only drank a handful of times. Please gently push me to drink more so I can learn how fun it can be!!!!" or "Please corner me and tell me about craft brews or cocktails I might enjoy." Also, don't lie and say you're not drinking because of how hammered you got last night, if it's obvious you're not the type of person who would do that.
Don't go out of your way to let people know you don't drink, especially when alcohol is around
Do what you can to avoid drinking, but for the most part be low key about it. Fly under the radar. Like I mentioned at the start of the article, if some people find out you don't drink, they can get surprisingly defensive and challenging about it. They may feel you have something against how they live their lives, or that you think you're better than them. They may badger you or try to convince you to change your mind. Sometimes they're coming from a well-intentioned place and genuinely think you need to loosen up and give it a chance. At other times you've made them feel insecure about their own habits and they want to get you to back down, so they can reaffirm their views.
It's one thing for this to happen when you're eating lunch with a bunch of people. It's especially touch-and-go in situations where there's alcohol around. The vibe of the situation can suddenly turn from "Everyone is having fun" to "Everyone's having a tense debate about whether drinking is okay" or "Some people are hassling this one person to drink, he's not giving in, and everyone is getting annoyed at each other." Better to avoid that whole situation.
There's a counterpoint to this suggestion though: By being vocal about the fact that you don't drink you may unwittingly be inspiring or supporting someone else who is struggling with a drinking problem, but is battling the societal pressure to do it anyways. By remaining silent, you're supporting a toxic aspect of our culture by omission. This is a very valid point. I think everyone should size up their particular context, company, and situation. They may decide the right thing to do is speak up. At other times they may decide it's not necessary.
Be able to be fun
If you don't drink, but you can still have fun while you're out, most people will be a lot more accepting of your being sober. It's just that everyone has had the experience of having a non-drinker around and they didn't want to do anything. And everyone was sure they would have loosened up if they would just have had a beer or two. If you're not going to drink, still do your best to be good company. Or if you find you have no interest in being 'fun' in the way drinkers usually define the word, then that's a sign you may be better off avoiding that crowd altogether.
Be able to keep up with the activities drinkers like to take part in
People who have been drinking are more likely to do certain activities over others. They also like doing certain things for longer than sober people would. When you're sober, sitting around and talking can make you feel a little restless before long. When you're having drinks you'll happily do it all night. If you like dancing, you'll do it for hours when you've got some alcohol in you. Sober, not so much. If you don't drink, you still have to be able to keep up with these activities when they come up. You may have to grow a thick skin for long pub conversations, or develop the guts to dance sober. Or again, you can try your best to avoid these situations.
Develop a tolerance for drunk people
Drunk people are boring and irritating if you're sober. But that's sort of missing the point, since they're not meant to be fun for sober people to be with. You're supposed to be buzzed right along with them. Then they're fine (more or less). If you don't want to drink, you've got to be really good-humored about having your mentally regressed, giggly friends around. Don't take their behavior personally. They're just being drunk, not purposely trying to get under your skin, although it can sure feel that way.
Strategically compromise now and again
Assuming you're not for 100% total abstinence, and are instead not drinking just because you'd prefer not to whenever possible, consider compromising on occasion. This is a pretty practical point. You may find it more trouble than it's worth to not drink at all in some situations. If someone offers to buy you a drink, and would be highly offended if you turned them down, then accept it. If you're at a pub and your friends really want to share a pitcher, have a glass. Don't get totally wasted, but avoid the unwanted hassle that would come from your insisting on not having one single drop.
Don't tell people you're never going to drink
This applies if you're younger and can just make you look silly down the road. There are plenty of people who didn't drink in high school, or even in college, who said they were never going to. Then one day they tried it and became casual, social drinkers like so many others. You can't really say what your attitude will be like in a few years, especially once you're legal drinking age.
Allan