So-I've just been on NNRoll call and instead of Day 7 I'm back to Day 1 today...Why?...last night I made the conscious decision to drink...I wasn't gagging for it-in fact I'd decided to have a cup of tea then said hey why not it's Friday night. I could honestly have taken it or left it-not like Wed when it was a real battle to leave it but I took it and you know what-it wasn't that great-in fact compared to the previous 6 days without it it was rubbish. I didnt have a lot for me 1 G&T, 3/4 bottle wine & 3 small vodka & lemonades but it made me stay up very late watching trash on TV by myself and what was the point?
I think I have to see it as a positive so that next weekend I'll just leave it. I have been thinking about why I drink and what is scary about the thought of not drinking again and it's not having that tool to make me this bolder person with some company then it suddenly hit me - I DONT HAVE TO BE ANYONE BUT ME! and if folk dont like me then that's a shame but hey ho. I also realise that my drinking is very habitual and it's bad habits I acquire like in the past I ate ice cream in the same compulsive way I drank wine...I need to cut myself some slack and look after myself-sleep if I need to sleep, take time to exercise, care for myself.
Anyway - here we are Day 1 - AGAIN - but maybe a bit wiser...Blessings one and all Mx
I think I have to see it as a positive so that next weekend I'll just leave it. I have been thinking about why I drink and what is scary about the thought of not drinking again and it's not having that tool to make me this bolder person with some company then it suddenly hit me - I DONT HAVE TO BE ANYONE BUT ME! and if folk dont like me then that's a shame but hey ho. I also realise that my drinking is very habitual and it's bad habits I acquire like in the past I ate ice cream in the same compulsive way I drank wine...I need to cut myself some slack and look after myself-sleep if I need to sleep, take time to exercise, care for myself.
Anyway - here we are Day 1 - AGAIN - but maybe a bit wiser...Blessings one and all Mx
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