this time for real

[Peanut]

Ok - I have finally got up the courage to write here. I have been wanting to post here for quite a while, but have had so little faith in myself, and think I will just fail anyways and be embarrassed. But I really want to do this. It is after 3:30 on a saturday afternoon, and I have already started thinking about wine, like I am losing my resolve, and it's only day 1! But I will not. I joined this site over 5 years ago, and had some successes back then, but am out of control again, and am so very worried about my health and my bank account! I feel sick every day with blurry vision, and pressure in my chest - I smoke way too much while swilling wine. So, since I am starting a 30day Abs workout challenge, I shall include a 30 day wine challenge. Now that I've posted, I feel like I have to be strong and do this. I will join the AF June group for sure.
Glad to be back!
peanut

[free at last]

this time for real

Dear Peanut,
Welcome, you've come to a great community. Glad to see you joining the AF June thread. Also, you might want to use this thread as a daily journal. I have found that it helps to keep me on the AF path if I feel as the I have/want to "report in" to my MWO friends. Funny how we will be accountable to anonymous supporters but it does seem to work for many people here. Keep us posted on your progress.

[MossRose]

this time for real

Hi Peanut,
I am brand new here so can offer no advice, only encouragement. Wine is my poison of choice too. I'm on day 2 and can empathize. We can do this...together! Hang in there.

[kuya]

this time for real

Peanut..... You and MossRose share a history of long term lurking.....you really should team up.

I just left this post on your thread MossRose...... I repost it here for you Peanut, since you two could be twins!




Quote:
Originally Posted by MossRose
Thank you everyone for the words of support. This is a bit harder than I thought it would be. Dinner is in the oven. I made tea. I have been reading everything in the Newbies Nest tonight and learning a lot. Unwasted, thanks for the link (You know you're an alcoholic when...) OMG ...didn't know if to laugh or cry. I can totally relate to so many of those posts.. I'm off to check out the toolbox now. Again, I just can't say thank you enough.
MossRose.....I only just saw your thread and once again it struck me how lurking as a guest NEVER gets you sober.

I did it for a couple weeks, then sank back into the bottle until it got so bad I HAD to join in properly...... I knew in my heart and soul it was going to destroy me.

It reminds me of people who study psychology HOPING it will help them overcome their psychological issues by LEARNING about it in others.

3000 people, on average, visit this site EVERY DAY. I would hazard a guess that many, like you, HOPE they will get sober by reading.

It just doesn't work that way though.

The power of writing out your intention, your problems, your history, your fears and SHARING them with fellow human beings has this amazing effect on the pathways of the brain. Addiction is powerful but there is ONE thing in life MORE powerful ......COMPANIONSHIP.

Drinkers keep other drinkers drinking. Sober people keep others sober. A drinker can come here and read forever and NEVER get sober......just like I can now go to a party and NEVER want to drink !

So in spite of the length of time you feel you may have spent here reading......you have only 'been' here a couple days. It will be hard at first but in just a few days you will be a new woman.

Post, post and post some more. Write down the longings of your heart, they are love letters to your future.

:welcome:..........to another companion on the road back to sanity.

[witts end]

this time for real

moss rose maybe we should stick together day 3 for me

[MossRose]

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WE - that sounds like a good plan. Several wise senior members have already advised me that going it alone just doesn't work. So let's do this together.

Peanut - thinking about you. Hope you you are doing ok.

[Lavande]

this time for real

You know I'm happy to see you back Peanut
I know that you can do this because I did!

All of you just starting out have to believe in yourselves in order to succeed!
That was the hardest concept for me because I had spent years disappointing myself, over & over.
I highly recommend the the MWO hypno CDs. I used them every night for well over a year & truly believe they helped change my thinking. Do whatever you have to do to drop the negative, self-limiting thinking. That is a bad habit we pick up somewhere along the line, we can turn our thinking in a positive direction

Wishing the best for you Peanut, witts end & MossRose!

Lav

[goofygirl]

this time for real

Hello Peanut!

:welcome: Please try not to go out... I know exactly how you feel and I am with you! :h

[Peanut]

this time for real

Hello lovely peeps!
I am finding a new thing to deal with. Since I would have normally started drinking wine by now, and I am not, I am STARVING!!!!!!! I am actually making dinner. Daily, I will make dinner, and then say, I'll just sit down before eating and have one glass of wine. Wrong-o!!!! I then proceed to eat nothing, and have it for the next day lunch. Not this time. I'm going to have to watch my wasteline!!!!
peanut

[Peanut]

this time for real

Hey Goofy - I do not go out that much. I am not a social drinker - at all. I am an "at home" drinker, so as not to embarrass myself too much, or drive - I am safe at home. I can actually go out when I am AF and not drink fine, but watch out when I get back to the comfort of my home!!! THEN, the drinking starts.
BUT NO MORE!!!!!!!
Moss and Witts too, let's stick together! I can't seem to do this alone!!

[Byrdlady]

this time for real

Peanut, you are doing great! You will find that eating is actually the silver bullet to fighting off cravings. Keep your tummy full, I MEAN FULL! Remember those times when you say, 'I can't eat another bite!'? That full. Don't worry about weight right now...it will all even out. We are so used to drinking our calories instead of eating that it takes time to readjust to just eating normally! Well done for another AF day!! Byrdie

[MossRose]

this time for real

Peanut - so good to hear from you. I'm an "at home" drinker too, so I understand. Enjoy your meal. You deserve it. Take good care of yourself.

[kuya]

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Peanut;1514607 wrote: Hey Goofy - I do not go out that much. I am not a social drinker - at all. I am an "at home" drinker, so as not to embarrass myself too much, or drive - I am safe at home. I can actually go out when I am AF and not drink fine, but watch out when I get back to the comfort of my home!!! THEN, the drinking starts.
BUT NO MORE!!!!!!!
Moss and Witts too, let's stick together! I can't seem to do this alone!!

This was me, sober to the world and drunk at home. Some people think I never drank, so it is no pressure to refuse alcohol, which is easier.

[NoSugar]

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It is a bit tricky when home is your drinking place. People who drink elsewhere can choose to stay home but we can't be out all of the time!

I try to stay busy. K9 rearranged the furniture in the room so it wouldn't seem like the same place. How you are going to handle that needs to be a big part of the plan ,

All the best to you guys! :h NS

[kuya]

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I went to bed early for ages, took a lot of baths and showers and ATE! :H

I put on 2 kg in the first few months but have lost 14kg since Xmas with little effort.

Eat, sleep, read, post kinda sums up my first weeks sober.